She felt weak. “You honor me, Marcus,” she said tremulously, tears burning her eyes.
“Honor,” he said. “A hollow word when it’s love I want.”
Her stomach tightened.
“I didn’t know what forgiveness was until you unveiled yourself to Julia,” he said heavily. “When I accepted Christ in Galilee, I felt forgiven, but it took you to teach me what it means to forgive.” Would she forgive him for not protecting her?
“I didn’t teach you, Marcus. God taught you.”
“You were his instrument. You have always been the light in my household, even when you were so afraid of me you shook. I should have taken you from Julia’s villa that day, no matter what you said.”
“And then what would have become of us? What would have become of her?” God’s timing had been perfect.
He heard the tears in her voice and came the last few steps separating them. Heart pounding, he handed her the small scroll. Her hand trembled as she took it. She kept her head down. “I asked you to marry me once and you refused. You said it was because I didn’t believe in God. I believe now, Hadassah.”
“That was long ago, Marcus.”
“It was yesterday for me.”
She stepped away from him. “I’m not the same girl.” She was trembling all over, her knees weak. She wanted him to leave . . . but if he did, she thought she would die.
“Tell me you don’t love me, Hadassah. Tell me straight out that you don’t feel anything for me, and I’ll leave you alone.”
She blinked back tears. “I love you as a Christian brother.”
He brushed his fingers lightly against the veil, and she jerked away. “Swear to me, it’s only that.”
“Christians don’t swear to anything.”
“Then say it plainly. Tell me you don’t love me as I love you.”
She shook her head, unable to speak.
“I want to marry you, Hadassah. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old with you.”
She closed her eyes. “Don’t say any more, please. I can’t marry you.”
“Why not?”
“You will marry, but you won’t marry someone like me, Marcus. You’ll marry a beautiful young girl from Jericho.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and felt her tense. “There’s only one woman I’ve ever wanted to marry. You. There’s only one woman I ever will marry. You.”
“Taphatha is in love with you.”
“She thinks she is,” he said without arrogance. “She’ll get over it.”
She turned and looked up at him. “You must reconsider. She’s beautiful and kind and she loves the Lord.”
“I already told Ezra no. Bartholomew is far better suited to be Taphatha’s husband.”
“Bartholomew?”
“A young man who followed them from Jericho. Ezra wouldn’t consider him before because Bartholomew’s father is a Greek.” He laughed softly. “I reminded him I’m a Roman.”
“It doesn’t matter now that you’re in Christ. We are all one. . . .”
“Bartholomew is a Christian. He’s Ezra’s second convert. Ezra just needs to put aside old prejudices. The boy loves Taphatha the way I love you.” He touched her veils, and she stepped back, turning away from him. He frowned slightly.
“Hadassah, do you remember when I asked you to marry me the first time? You said you couldn’t be yoked to an unbeliever. You said I was stronger than you. You were afraid I’d pull you away from God. Do you remember?”
“I remember.” She had told him her desire to please him would eventually become more important than pleasing God.
“We’ll pull together now, Hadassah. I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
She had yearned to hear him speak those words. She had prayed unceasingly for it over the past years. She had set her heart upon them long ago in the garden of the Roman villa. And now she couldn’t speak past the tears choking her.
“You were in love with me then,” Marcus said. “I felt it every time I touched you. And I felt it again the other day when we were sitting in the alcove and I took your hand.” He saw the soft fluttering of the veil with each breath she took, and his heart began to beat faster. “Let me see you.”
“No!” she said in anguish and pressed the veils to her face, turning away from him. “No!”
He knew then what held her back.
“Is that what keeps you from me? Your scars?” He turned her around firmly and took her wrists, forcing her hands down.
“Marcus, no!”
“Do you think it matters to me?”