Lavinnia entered the bath chamber. “My lady? Are you all right?”
“Just tired, Lavinnia. All is well. I’m fine.”
“Will you eat now, my lady? It’s been three days since you’ve touched food.”
Hadassah would have preferred her bed to food, but she saw the girl’s deep concern and rose, bracing herself with her walking stick. “The time for fasting is over.”
Lavinnia smiled brightly. “I will tell the cook.”
“Speak with Iulius first, Lavinnia. Lady Phoebe will be hungry as well.”
“Yes, my lady,” she said, bowing in respect and then leaving quickly.
Hadassah wished she could leave the villa and avoid seeing Marcus again, but she was a slave again, belonging to this household. She was no longer free to come and go as Azar or Rapha had been.
She rose and limped down the corridor and entered the peristyle. Her leg ached, and she sat in the small alcove to rest and try to think. The morning sun warmed the courtyard and she had always liked the soothing sound of the fountain. She saw Lavinnia and another servant carrying trays up the stairs. The house was quiet, a peaceful quiet unlike that of the past weeks. The shadows were gone, the darkness lifted.
She remembered something her father had said long ago: The last shall be first, and the first last. Julia was with the Lord while she had to wait. She closed her eyes in thanksgiving.
God is merciful. Julia’s redemption was proof of that, and Hadassah felt that her purpose here was now fulfilled, her work finished.
If only she could die right now and be with the Lord as well. She was tired, her body hurt, and her heart ached.
What do I do now, Lord? Where do I go from here?
She heard firm footsteps on the upper corridor and wanted to rise and run away. Her heart beat wildly and then calmed again as she saw it was Iulius, not Marcus, who came down the steps and crossed the peristyle to her.
“Lady Phoebe wishes you to join her.”
Hadassah rose and followed.
Iulius glanced back at her as he reached the steps. Every step she took bespoke her weariness. “I will carry you,” he said. As he lifted her, he heard her soft catch of pain.
Phoebe was sitting in the thronelike chair on her balcony. The couch used by friends who had come to visit was near her, a table set between was laden with food and wine. Iulius lowered Hadassah to her feet and left.
Phoebe smiled up at her. “Please sit down, Hadassah. You look far beyond exhaustion.”
Hadassah sat, back straight, head slightly bowed, hands folded loosely in her lap. She felt light-headed from her fast and clenched her teeth against the pain shooting up her thigh into her hip.
“You have been a good and faithful servant,” Phoebe said. She smiled, her eyes glowing with warmth. “Long ago, in Rome, I entrusted my daughter to you. I asked you to watch over and care for her. I asked that you stand by her in all circumstances. You have done more than that, Hadassah. Despite everything Julia did to you and to herself, you remained her friend.” Her eyes welled with tears. “I thank God for bringing you into our lives and shall continue to do so every day until I leave this earth.”
Hadassah lowered her head, overwhelmed by such praise and promise. “It was the Lord, my lady, not I.” Ah yes. You, Lord.
“I would ask one more thing of you, Hadassah, but know it is not my place to do so,” she said tremulously. “It is just as you encouraged me months ago when you came here with the physician. I have learned to trust in the Lord in all things.” Whatever God willed for Marcus would come to be. It wasn’t for a mother to interfere with God’s plan by attempting to arrange things in her own strength. She could only do what she knew should have been done long ago and then pray for that which her heart desired. She could hope.
“As you have given to us, so I give to you,” Phoebe said and held out a small scroll. Hadassah took it with trembling fingers.
“A document of manumission, Hadassah. You are free. You may stay or you may go, as you wish.”
Hadassah couldn’t speak. Emotion filled her, but it was not elation. Rather, she was overwhelmed with sadness. Perhaps this, then, was God’s answer. She was free to leave the Valerians, free to go back to Alexander and travel with him, free to study herbs and cures on the frontier.
Phoebe saw how Hadassah sat, head down, her small hand clutching the document in her lap. Her heart sank. “It is my hope you will stay,” she said softly, “but I know whatever you do, you will do according to the will of God.”
“Thank you, my lady.”
“You must be as hungry as I,” Phoebe said briskly, blinking back tears. She broke bread and handed half to her.