Marcus looked between the two men and knew he would learn nothing more here. He strode across the antechamber to the door.
As it slammed, Rashid looked back at Alexander. “Do you think he believed you?”
“Why shouldn’t he? I told him the truth.”
“Not all of it.”
“Enough.” His voice was cold, filled with anger. “And far more than he deserved to hear.”
49
Marcus looked in on Julia when he returned to the villa. When he saw Azar standing on the balcony in the moonlight, her hands raised to the heavens, a sharp stab of pain struck him. He watched her for a moment, trying to calm his emotions. Shaking his head, he turned his attention away from Azar and approached Julia’s bed.
He frowned. Even in sleep, Julia seemed troubled. Perhaps it was because death was so close. He leaned down and lightly brushed some of the tendrils of dark hair from her pale face. Sadness filled him. How was it possible that the sister he had adored had come to this? How was it possible he had thought he didn’t love her anymore?
She stirred at his touch but didn’t awaken.
Straightening, he went out to Azar who now stood with her hand lightly resting on the wall. “She seems to be sleeping soundly,” he said, standing beside her.
Hadassah’s heart beat like the wings of a trapped bird. She had hoped Marcus would leave the room after checking on Julia, rather than come out to her. “It’s the mandragora, my lord. She won’t awaken until morning,” she said, looking out over the city because she couldn’t bear the heartbreak of looking at him. Whenever she did, she thought of the beautiful young girl who had come with her father to see him.
Her fingers whitened on the wall as she struggled against her turbulent emotions. She was still in love with Marcus. She had known it the first time she had seen Marcus again. She had tried to will herself against it, but her love only grew stronger each day. When she had seen Taphatha looking at him with the eyes of love, she had wanted to flee the pain that swelled within her.
Only later during her prayers had it come to her how cunning Satan could be. Her love for Marcus could become a tool against her, for when her heart and mind were on Marcus, Julia lay forgotten.
Nothing must distract her from her mission here. And no one. She mustn’t waste time mourning what might have been with Marcus or being overcome by sorrow that he might marry another. It was right and natural he marry. God had said it was not good for man to be alone. And Marcus was alone.
So are you, came the insidious thought tapping at the door of her mind. She refused to open herself to it.
O God, help me not to waste a single moment of Julia’s time thinking of myself and the things that might have been.
And yet, pain had gripped her heart again as the man she loved came to stand beside her.
“She’s close to the end, isn’t she?” Marcus said grimly.
“Yes.”
“She’s set her mind against believing in a Savior, Azar, any savior.” He knew what that was like. Hadn’t he done likewise during all those months he had traveled through Palestine?
“I won’t give up on her.”
He looked out at the dark, sleeping city. Despite its affluence and grandeur, he sensed it was dying of its own corruption, just as Julia was dying of hers. Yet, he had seen the same hunger in her that he had felt. Why hadn’t he recognized it earlier for what it was?
Marcus shut his eyes. How much of Julia’s refusal to accept Christ now was due to his own unforgiveness? Sometime during the last weeks she had moved from rebellion and self-defense to self-loathing and acceptance of her fate. But salvation required more than remorse. It required repentance. It required Christ. Julia had to keep moving along the road, but she was so close to the end now, she seemed unable to comprehend any other avenue open to her but the one she had paved for herself. Death.
O God, how much of this is my doing because I wasn’t willing to forgive her as you forgave me?
“Oh, my lord,” Azar whispered softly. “If only I could make her see.”
Her words stilled Marcus’ thoughts of himself. He wasn’t sure if she was praying or speaking to him. “You’ve tried, Azar,” he said, wanting to comfort her. It was he who hadn’t done what God sent him to do.
She bowed her head. “I want Julia to know that death is not a sunset but a sunrise. O God, how do I do that?”
Hearing the tears in her voice, Marcus put his hand over hers. Her head came up, and she withdrew her hand from beneath his. Though she didn’t step away, Marcus felt the yawning distance between them. “Why must it be like this?” he said hoarsely, not even sure what he was asking or of whom.