“Nain?”
“You’ve heard of it? That’s surprising. It’s nothing but a speck of dust and little else. An old woman sent me on my way to the Sea of Galilee.” He saw the way Azar wove her fingers together tightly and wondered what agitated her so about his story.
“Why did you go?” she said.
“There was once a young slave girl in this house,” he said, looking around him. “She believed in Jesus Christ as the Son of the living God. I wanted to find out if he really existed.”
“And did you?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “The very moment I gave up hope of ever doing so,” he said. “A man named Paracletos appeared to me and answered my questions. He told me to go to Capernaum where a man would be waiting for me at the gate. There was such a man, and his name was Cornelius. He baptized me in the Sea of Galilee and said God wanted me to return to Ephesus. So . . .” He gave her a rueful smile and spread his hands in self-deprecation. “Here I am.”
“Oh, my lord,” she murmured, and the warmth and joy of her voice reminded him of what he had felt when he had come up out of the sea, a new creation. “I didn’t know.”
He gave a dry laugh. “Why should you? I’m not much of a Christian.”
“Oh, but the Lord is faithful, Marcus. He will mold you into his vessel.”
His smile died. “If I don’t shatter it to pieces first.” He leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees. “I know what God wants of me. I’m just not willing to do it. Not now. Maybe never.”
Tears coursed down her cheeks. She leaned forward and took his hands, her own trembling. “Of ourselves, we can do nothing. It is God in us who works his purpose.”
The love in her voice warmed his entire body. Her hands were strong and smooth. He didn’t want to let go of her. His eyes burned, for Julia was right: Azar was very much like Hadassah. His heart raced. He wished he could see her face.
Hadassah withdrew her hands from his slowly and leaned back.
Marcus watched Azar clasp her hands in her lap. He could feel her tension and wished she could relax and talk to him as she did with his sister. “I’d like to know more about you,” he said softly.
“You know me well enough already, my lord.”
He smiled slightly, tilting his head. The same smile had won and broken the hearts of countless other women. “I know you practiced medicine with Alexander Democedes Amandinus, but little more.”
“I’m here for Julia, my lord.”
“Ah yes. Julia . . .” He sighed and leaned back against the wall, his face shuttered by shadows.
“Have you told her you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior, my lord?”
“A neat turn of conversation.” He gave a soft laugh. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’d never believe it. I’m not sure I do. Perhaps it was all a dream and never really happened. What I felt in Galilee I certainly don’t feel now.”
“What do you feel?”
“At odds with life.”
“That’s because you’re no longer of the world.”
His mouth curved wryly. “I felt at odds with life long before I went to Palestine, Azar. My discontent goes back as far as I can remember.”
“God chooses his children from before the foundation of the earth. You were filled with thirst for the living water from birth, Marcus. Until you sought Christ, you failed to find a way to fill the emptiness within you. Only Jesus suffices. It’s my prayer that Julia is one of his chosen as well.”
“I doubt it.”
“Then why is she so consumed with sorrow?”
“Because she’s dying of a disease she brought on herself. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s regret over anything she ever did.”
“Isn’t it possible that the hunger that has driven you through life is the same hunger that’s driving your sister?”
“Let’s discuss something else.”
“There’s nothing else more important than that you forgive your sister.”
“I don’t want to talk about this!”
“She’s flesh of your flesh. If her sorrow is according to the will of God, it will produce a repentance without regret leading to salvation.”
“And if not?” he challenged coldly, incensed by her lack of obedience to his will.
“Then she will die without knowing Christ. She will stand before God Almighty and be judged for her sins. Is that what you want, Marcus? For God to judge her and cast her into the pit of fire for all eternity?”
Disturbed, he looked away, a muscle jerking in his cheek.
“My lord,” Azar said gently, “God sent you home to bring Julia the Good News.”