An Echo in the Darkness(157)
“I’ve just spent the night with you.”
He laughed. “I was asleep.”
“Your sister is very ill, my lord.”
He had the feeling his interest embarrassed her. “I’m merely curious about you,” he said frankly and sat up. Grimacing with pain, he set his feet on the floor.
“You must rest—”
“I’m sluggish with rest.” And his head ached from far too much wine.
“You’ve lost a lot of blood.”
“Not enough to keep me on my back like an invalid as you’re intent upon treating me.” He would leave the art of self-pity to his sister.
When Azar turned her head away, he wondered if his appearance bothered her. He wore a loincloth and nothing else. Considering her occupation, he thought the possibility remote but dragged the covering across his lap in case. “Should Lady Julia have need of you, I’m sure she will send Lavinnia running to fetch you.”
She looked at him again. “What caused this breach between you and your sister, my lord?”
“A bold question,” he said, annoyed by it. “We’ll speak of other things.”
“This plagues you most.”
“What makes you think that?” he said, his mouth curving into a mocking smile. “Do you think you can see into me on such short acquaintance?”
She hesitated. “Are you at peace with the way things are?”
“At peace? My mother is paralyzed. Julia is beneath my roof again, dying of a foul disease brought on by her own promiscuity and foul living. You must admit these are hardly circumstances to make for peace, Lady Azar.”
“Are you so pure you can condemn her, my lord?”
His eyes darkened. “Let’s just say I limited my experiences to the opposite sex.”
She said nothing.
“Do you doubt my word?”
“No, my lord, but sin is sin.”
He felt heat flood his face. “How much has my sister told you about Calabah?”
“I know of Calabah.”
“Sin is sin? Did Julia tell you they were lovers? That alone should tell you something about the depth of her depravity.” He arched an imperious brow in condescension. “Did she bother to tell you her husband was a homosexual as well, with a proclivity for young boys? Prometheus was one of them. That’s the reason I didn’t want him in my house.”
“Prometheus repented and gave his life to God,” she said softly. “He returned of his own free will to serve Lady Julia. She said he ran away from Primus. He became a Christian and returned to your sister’s household. If not for him, my lord, your sister would have had no one. Her servants had all deserted her.”
“I concede you that,” he said grimly, then regarded her ruefully. “This isn’t the conversation I hoped to have with you.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Nevertheless.”
“You hold on to your anger against her like a shield. Why, I don’t know. I wanted you to understand your sister was alone except for Prometheus. Whatever he was before—”
“Very well,” he said impatiently, cutting her off. “I’ll send for him if it pleases you.”
“That wasn’t my reason for telling you this. Prometheus is well. Lady Julia gave him his freedom. It was a purely unselfish act on her part. He has work to do for the Lord. It’s Julia who concerns me. And you. You mustn’t abandon her.”
Heat surged up in him. “I haven’t abandoned her. She’s here, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she’s here. You’ve given her shelter, food, servants to care for her. Yet you withhold from her what she needs most.”
“And what’s that?” he said derisively.
“Love.”
A muscle jerked in his cheek. “Forgive me for keeping you from your duties, Lady Azar. You may go.”
Hadassah rose slowly. She took up her walking stick. “Please, my lord. For her sake and yours, forgive her for whatever she’s done.”
“You don’t know what she’s done,” he said, furious and wishing she would leave quickly.
“Nothing is so terrible it can’t be set aside in the name of love, in the name of God.”
“It’s because of love I can’t forgive her.”
His passionate words left Hadassah more perplexed than before. Only one thing was certain in her mind. “Until you can forgive her, you’ll never know the fullness of what it means to be forgiven yourself. Please, think on this. You haven’t much time left.”
Marcus did think on it long after Azar left. Despite his desire to put her words out of his mind, they kept repeating over and over. They cut him deeply. He remembered the relief and joy he had felt on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. He longed for those feelings to return, for somewhere along the road home he had lost sight of what he had found. It had taken the words of a veiled cripple to remind him again. And he didn’t like it.