“Yes,” she answered simply.
“Over my dead body, you will!”
“Alexander, you said long ago I was free to do as I will.”
“Not something this stupid. Didn’t you listen to her? She’s eaten up with bitterness. There isn’t a remorseful bone in her body for anything she’s ever done.”
“You don’t know that, Alexander. Only God knows her heart.”
“You’re not going back, Hadassah. That woman forfeited all rights to you the moment she handed you over to the editor of the games.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Alexander surged to his feet and paced in angry frustration. “I can’t believe you’re even thinking of this.” How could he reason with such thinking?
“Try to understand, Alexander. She needs me.”
He faced her. “She needs you? I need you. Our patients need you. Julia Valerian has servants. Let them take care of her.”
“I am her servant.”
“No, you aren’t,” he said adamantly. “Not anymore.”
“Her mother and father purchased me in Rome to be Julia’s handmaiden.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“Time doesn’t change my obligations. I am still legally bound to her.”
“You’re wrong. In case you weren’t aware, a price must have been paid for you. A few copper coins! That’s how much she valued you. Not even a day’s wage for a common laborer.” He was angry more with himself than her, for he should have seen this coming. Foolishly, he hadn’t thought her sense of compassion and mercy would extend to a woman who had tried to have her murdered.
Over the past week, since they had seen the Valerian woman, Hadassah had refused everything but unleavened bread to eat and water to drink. She spoke with few patients, spending most of her time in prayer. Alexander thought he had understood. Of course she would be upset after seeing the woman who had sent her into the arena. Of course she would withdraw, perhaps even be afraid. He had even wondered briefly if she felt a sense of satisfaction in seeing how Julia Valerian was now suffering but was ashamed to admit it.
Not once had it occurred to him that she could or would put it all aside and want to go back.
“I fail to comprehend you,” he said, trying to regain his own calm and find reason so he could argue her out of her decision. “Are you punishing me because I won’t take that woman on as a patient?”
“No, my lord,” she said, surprised that he would think it.
“I can’t take her on, Hadassah. You know the laws in Ephesus. When a patient dies, the physician is held responsible. It’s the worst kind of arrogance and madness to take a case you know is terminal. You saw the sores and lesions.”
“I saw,” she said very quietly.
“Then you know the disease has spread throughout her whole body.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“There’s nothing I can do for her other than keep her drugged up to the end so she’ll feel little pain. She’s going to die, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You touched her. You know.” He saw his words disturbed her. “And don’t give me that look. I know you say you have no healing power other than what God performs through you. Very well. I believe you. But when you took her hand, did anything happen?”
She lowered her head. “No,” she said softly.
“Has it occurred to you that the entire Valerian family is under the curse of God for what they did to you?”
She looked up at him again, his suggestion clearly stunning her. “Each one is precious in God’s sight.”
“Some more than others.”
“No! The Lord is impartial.”
“The Lord is just,” he said vehemently, thinking Julia Valerian was getting what she deserved. He wasn’t going to stand in God’s way. “I’m not going to forfeit my career and the chance of helping countless others in some vain attempt to save a woman who deserves everything that’s happening to her.”
“Who are you to judge?”
“Your friend! The one who received you from Charon. Remember? The one who sewed you back together! The one who l—” He broke off suddenly, stunned at what he had been about to say: The one who loves you!
“You would take credit that I’m alive?”
“Yes!” he said, exasperated. Grimacing, he gave a wave of his hand. “No!” Letting out his breath, he rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from her. “Partially.”
She was quiet for a long moment. “You’ve told me more than once you believe the Lord has his hand upon me.”