"I can't be with him or I'll ruin him." I let out a shaky sigh. "You know what my stepmother will do."
I didn't have to say more than that. Gus knew the power my stepmother wielded. He knew the kind of person she was. He knew that she would use me every which way if I had any connection to the prince. He didn't even need to know that she was using me now.
Gus's eyes narrowed and he let out a string of curses calling my stepmother every name in the book. In all the years I had known him, I had never heard him use any kind of language. He was always a big teddy-bear to me. To hear him call my stepmother words that would get an NC-17 rating was like seeing a children's TV character pop out of costume.
But, it fit with how I felt. It was a while before he stopped.
"I'm so sorry, Aria," he said after he had finished, pulling me into a hug. "You don't deserve this."
"What am I going to do?" I asked, leaning into his strength once more. "I don't want to hurt him."
Gus took a deep breath in. "What do you think you should do?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you," I said into his chest. "You're supposed to be older and wiser."
Gus chuckled, but didn't say anything for a moment.
"I love him, Gus," I said softly. "That's why I don't want to hurt him."
He sighed. "You're exhausted and it's the middle of the night. Let me take you home," he said. "We'll come up with something tomorrow when our brains are fresh."
I nodded weakly. I'd spent the last few weeks trying to come up with "something." Somehow I doubted one more night was going to help.
"You look beautiful, by the way," he told me, releasing me from the hug. A fatherly smile filled his face. "Your dad would say the same thing. Absolutely gorgeous."
I smiled at him. When Gus said it, it felt true. It came from a father, so I trusted that was what my dad would think as well.
"Thank you."
"You've had a long night. My replacement is just clocking in. We can leave as soon as he's ready."
I nodded. He went back to the security desk and reached over to his chair to grab his jacket. It was a nice heavy wool coat that he draped over my shoulders. I reached up and tucked it around my chin. I suddenly felt exhausted.
It was only a few moments before the replacement night guard came and took over for Gus. Together, we walked to his car and he made sure I buckled my seat belt before he started the engine. Old jazz songs filled the interior of the car as he drove me home.
Gus made sure to walk me all the way up to my door.
"You go straight to bed, young lady," he said as I opened my door. I saw him do a security sweep of the place with his eyes. "I'll call you in the morning and check in on you, but if you need anything, anything at all, you call me. I'm here for you, kiddo."
My dad used to call me kiddo.
"Thanks, Gus," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "I really appreciate it."
"Always," he whispered. He gave me a squeeze. "We'll figure this out. Henry's a good man, and if he loves you, then there's a way. I promise there's one."
I wished I could have as much faith as Gus did.
I hugged him again. He closed the door behind him and waited until he heard the click of the lock to head back down to his car.
I stood in the middle of my apartment, my dress dirty on the edges and my makeup smudged beyond repair. I felt empty. I had love, but I couldn't keep it. I didn't know what to do and I was too tired to come up with any plan.
I slid out of the dress, carefully laying it on the couch with the shoes. Someone would be by to pick them up later. I wished I had the mask, but I'd dropped it when I ran. I ached to have something to remember the good part of the night by, but just like in life, I couldn't keep anything I wanted.
I didn't want to start crying again, so I put on a comfortable holey old t-shirt and crawled into bed. I was fairly sure I would never fall asleep, but the moment my head hit the pillow, I couldn't stop the fall into darkness.
Chapter 26
I woke just before dawn with a dry mouth and itchy eyes. It was never a good idea to fall asleep with a ton of makeup on and without brushing my teeth.
I groaned and rolled out of bed. I wasn't sure if I wanted coffee or a shower more, so I started them both. I took my coffee to the bathroom and I set my cup on the sink so I could reach out and grab a sip while still getting a shower at the same time. There were perks to having a small bathroom.
The shower and coffee helped wake me up, but did nothing for the feeling of dark dread that hung around my head.
Henry was a prince. A freaking prince.
And he loved me.
What did that mean for us? Even if I wasn't going to be convicted of selling secrets, or my stepmother wasn't making my life a living nightmare, what would we do? I couldn't just move into the castle with him in Paradisa. My life was here. My dreams were here.
I loved him, but I didn't see how we were going to make it work. He was a prince and I was about as far from royalty as a stray cat. I knew my bloodlines had no blue in them. I was a nobody.
I closed my eyes and let the hot water wash over me. Maybe if I stayed under the water long enough, my problems would wash away along with the soapy bubbles. Maybe I could come out and find that everything was okay.
My skin was wrinkled and bright pink by the time I ran out of coffee and finally got the courage to leave the shower. I didn't want to check my phone, although I knew I should. I knew I would have to talk to Henry eventually.
I just wanted to put off breaking his heart for as long as possible.
I put on a comfy pair of leggings and an over-sized t-shirt, leaving my hair wet around my shoulders. Then I took a deep breath and checked my phone.
Eight missed calls.
Three voice mails.
Twelve text messages.
I opened the first three text messages that weren't Henry's first. One was from the Senator making sure I had a nice time. The other was from Gus making sure I was still okay and to let me know Henry had called him. The last was Jaqui saying Henry was looking for me. I answered them all that I was fine and then stared at my phone for a moment.
"Waiting won't fix anything," I told myself as I pressed open on Henry's text messages first. If I didn't listen to his voice, maybe I could get through this.
* * *
Aria, are you all right? Please let me see you.
* * *
I don't know what happened. Please call me. I love you.
* * *
My eyes started to blur with tears and I had to set my phone aside. How was I going to survive this? I couldn't even read his messages without tearing up. How the hell was I going to tell him it was over?
Just thinking of losing him made my chest clench. I hated it.
I left my phone on the table and went to make some food. Maybe what I needed was a full stomach. I wasn't really hungry, but I wanted to find every way to put off reading those messages as long as possible.
I was half way through making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when someone knocked on my door.
I froze on the spot for a moment before tip-toeing to the peephole. I held my breath, not wanting to give away that I was home and looked out. The last person I wanted to see right now was Henry. Or my stepmother.
Luckily, it was neither. Gunner stood outside my door, his arms crossed and face impatient.
I let out a small sigh of relief and opened the door.
"So you are home," Gunner said as I pulled open the door. "I was beginning to wonder."
He walked inside with all the confidence of a peacock.
"What did you do to my dress?" he asked, hurrying over to the couch and touching the dirty hem.
"Um... it's kind of a long story," I replied, scratching my head.
"I'd be interested to hear it," a soft voice that made my heart race and freeze at the same time said from the doorway.
I turned to see Henry standing in the door. He wore distressed jeans and a loose dress shirt. His golden-red hair was a mess and he looked exhausted. Like he'd been up all night. His blue eyes were laser focused on me.
"Henry," I whispered. My feet suddenly grew roots to the floor and I couldn't move.
Gunner turned to see who had spoken. His gray eyebrows went up into his hair.
"Your highness," Gunner said, turning and bowing to the prince. He knew who Henry was. I felt like an idiot. I was an idiot.
The three of us stood without moving for a moment. My heart was racing so fast I couldn't count the beats. I couldn't read Henry's expression. Was he angry? Hurt? Afraid?
Or was I those things?
Gunner took the dress and shoes into his arms. The blue satin and tulle poofed out everywhere, yet he still managed to look in control as he walked to the door.
"Excuse me, your highness," Gunner said, dipping his head. He glanced back at me and gave me a wink before disappearing out the door. At least I was off the hook about the dress.
Henry and I both stood in silence, listening to Gunner's footsteps fade down the hallway.