She sighed. Before her mother's death, her father had been the best wood craftsman in the whole area. People came to him with requests to have tables and chairs, and other pieces of furniture made. Now, if he sold a table or chairs in a week it was a miracle. Surviving was becoming so difficult. As much as Jenny tried to stretch the pennies, even buying food was a problem. Just thinking about what they would eat every day was a headache for her.
Jenny sometimes felt like an old woman, tired of life and all her energy depleted. Girls her age already had their own homes and families. Her life consisted of taking care of James and her father. She had no hopes of meeting a young man. No young men courted her, as most were already engaged. Besides, her father's reputation as a drunk was well known. No young man would want to marry into a family such as theirs.
A loud knock on the door made Jenny jump. There could only be one person coming to the house at that time of morning. She straightened her blue sweater, braced herself, and went to open the front door. Her Aunty Florence, her father's sister, stood there frowning, her body covered by a long red thick coat. Jenny wished it was hers. It was perfect for the weather.
‘Why did you take so long to open the door? It's very cold out there, but you wouldn't know, spending all your time in the warmth of the house. If you had to wake up early in the morning like I do, you would know what I'm talking about. You know it's not my responsibility to check on you children, I do it from the goodness of my heart.' She said her lips curled in annoyance.
Jenny did not point out that she had woken up before dawn, got wood from the pile in the backyard to light the fire and cook breakfast. Her Aunty Florence liked to think that she was lazy, and Jenny had long stopped trying to convince her otherwise.
‘Sorry Aunty Florence.' Jenny said and moved to the side to let her in.
She stepped in, made as though to remove her coat, then changed her mind. She looked at the hallway, her eyes screwed up.
‘Haven't you cleaned up this morning?' she said, her voice disapproving.
‘I was just sweeping up.'
‘Where's your father? Already at work I suppose? I don't understand how a hardworking man like your father ended up with a lazy daughter like you!' she said, looking angered and genuinely puzzled. ‘But I suppose character traits don't come from one person, do they?'
She went into the living room, leaving Jenny standing there. The criticism, also intended of her mother, indirectly caused a physical pain in her heart. She swallowed down the resentment that she fought to contain for her Aunty Florence. When she felt herself calm down, she followed her to the front room, dragging her feet as though they were two blocks of cement.
Chapter Two
Jenny!' her Aunty called out from the front room.
‘I'm coming Aunty.' She said, and carried a mug of hot tea to her aunty.
‘Sit down; we do need to talk about your future.'
Her father sat stiffly staring at somewhere ahead only he could see. Jenny sat at the edge of the only other chair remaining, completing the triangle of the three of them. When she was settled, her Aunty reached into the pocket of her red coat and fished out a folded newspaper.
‘Now, Jenny, you're now a grown woman and your father needs as much help as he can get. He works very hard for the two of you, and now it's time to do your bit for the family.'
Jenny saw a ghost of a smile on her father's lips. Aunty Florence was his oldest sister. Her visits always left him a good disposition. She saw a different person from who her father was.
‘Girls your age are already married with a child or two.' Her Aunty continued, shifting about in her chair and wringing her hands. ‘Since it does not seem as though there are any suitors … or are there?'
Color flooded to her face and she felt herself grow hot. It was one thing to know within yourself that no young man was interested in you, and quite another to have to admit it out loud. Jenny looked at her hands and shook her head. Tears of humiliation gathered in her eyes, and she kept them from falling by refusing to blink.
‘Well, thank the Lord that I am here, otherwise I don't know what would become of you.' Her Aunty said.
She straightened out the newspaper on her lap.
‘Now, I've seen a few advertisements for ladies with means across the country looking for nannies as well as housekeepers. I want you to write to the ones that I've circled-these are the most suitable, and offer your services.'
Jenny was horrified. The last thing she wanted was to go and live in a stranger's house as a servant. She would never find a suitor and would live and die a spinster.
‘I think it's the best solution for you Jenny. Once there, you must absolutely stop being lazy. They won't pay you for day dreaming and waking up at whatever hour you choose. People the world over work hard, and so must you.'
Her Aunt's voice faded, and Jenny found herself engulfed by sadness. Aunty Florence was right. There was nothing else for her to do but to apply for those jobs.
‘Jenny.' Aunty Florence said sharply. ‘Are you listening to a word I've said? That's the kind of behavior that will not be tolerated by the lady of the house. You're expected to be sharp and to pay attention to instructions!' Her Aunt looked exasperated.
‘How much can she expect to earn?' her father said, speaking up for the first time.
‘It depends on the household. Should she be lucky, she can get as much as twenty dollars a month.'
Her father whistled. ‘You had better start on those letters then. The sooner you start working, the better for all of us.'
Jenny stood, took the newspaper and trudged to her bedroom. It was a tiny room, with just a bed and a chest of drawers. She sat heavily on her bed and looked at the newspaper. Oh Lord, is this what I've been praying and waiting for? Jenny knew that it was not the worst thing in the world to work as a servant, but her heart longed for a different life. Her own family as her mother once had. She closed her eyes and remembered the laughter that had once filled the house. Her mother had been a jolly person with a sweet and kind disposition. She had taught Jenny how to cook and clean, and to sew.
Her father too had been a different person. A quiet man, he had a hint of laughter behind his eyes. Now if he was not angry at something that only he knew, he seemed resigned to letting life carry him whichever way it chose. It was like he had no control over his life or that of his children.
A deep hurt cut through Jenny's heart when she recalled the way his eyes had lit up when his sister talked about how much Jenny could earn. Her work now would be to work for him. Jenny had no problem earning money for James, but she knew very little of her earnings would go to James. What would become of him without her to cook for him and teach him alphabet.
She was lucky that by twelve years old when her mother went to be with the Lord, she could read and write. Would her father make the effort to teach his son the same? She doubted it. Most times, he did not even acknowledge James. He seemed to have forgotten he had a son and did not bother to teach him anything, even woodwork. In a few years, James would need a skill and so far, there seemed to be no hope for that either.
With resignation she flipped open the pages of the newspaper and moved to the adverts section. She saw two parts circled with an ink pen.
Servant wanted: housekeeper/nursemaid wanted for a small private family consisting of five children. The person selected will be expected to help in all areas of the home. She must be respectable and good with sewing. Liberal wages. Apply to the address below.
Jenny's spirits sunk. The other circled advert was further down. Another advert caught her eye and she read it with interest. She sat up straighter and read the advert again.
Hard working, single cowboy in Montana seeks an acquaintance with a God honoring lady which will lead to matrimony. The ranch provides a good living and the chosen lady will not lack. Hard work and a kind disposition are required.
Her breath came out in gasps as she read the advert over and over again. Was it the answer to her prayers? Along with the excitement was fear. What if she went to Montana and found that the cowboy was an evil man. It would be like jumping from a hot pot to a fire. She thought of the other option, going to work in a huge household as a servant. There was no hope of her ever having a family of her own.
Her eyes went back to the advert. The cowboy wanted a God honoring woman. That meant that he too was a God loving person. The excitement in Jenny grew as she realized that her way out was right in front of her eyes. Still she was not sure, so she did what she always did when faced with difficulty. She went down on her knees and said a prayer.
Dear Father, I pray for guidance. Show me the right way to go, be my light and walk ahead of me so that I may know the right thing to do. In Jesus mighty name I pray, Amen.
When she sat back down, Jenny realized that it had been a long time since she had prayed from her heart. Her prayers were fast and automatic, and the words not given much thought. She wondered if the Lord would hear her prayers now, since she had prayed for so many years and He had kept his ears turned away from her, she thought. She listened to her heart and heard nothing. Surely the Lord had deserted her. She would have to think this through by herself.