“Could you really do that? Be a part time mother?”
“Might be better for this child.”
“Do you see what you’re doing?” Kalia said.
“What?”
“You’re putting this child’s needs first. You’re already being a mother.”
Violet rubbed a hand down her face. “Or am I abandoning it? Just like my father did?”
Kalia sighed. “If you give the child to Amedeo, that’s not abandoning it. He has a lot of resources. He isn’t crazy like your mother was. The kid would have a good life.”
“So you think I should give the baby up?”
Kalia groaned. “I’m not saying that. You have to make this decision. You should make this decision with Amedeo. He’s part of this. You can’t forget that. He’s stepped up so you have to let him be part of this decision. It isn’t fair any other way.”
Violet knew that Kalia was right, but she wasn’t used to consulting someone else on her life decision. Not since high school and she’d decided that she was going to college if she had to strip to do it. She didn’t, but only because a guidance counselor had guided her through the maze of financial aid options.
Since then she’d never asked for help. Not until she’d approached Amedeo for abortion money. How her life had changed since then. She really didn’t know what to do.
“I think you need to talk to Amedeo. Tell him how you are feeling.”
“He’s probably mad at me for ditching his driver.”
“Send him a text to tell him that you’re okay. That you’ll see him tomorrow.”
Kalia was right. She needed to tell Amedeo that she was okay. He didn’t need to know where she was because he would end up on Kalia’s doorstep. Of that she had no doubt. She pulled out her phone, turning it on. Amedeo had called four times. He’d only left one message.
She sent him a text. “I’m okay. I’ll be home tomorrow. Please give me this space.”
She turned off her phone just in case he called. She knew he would. Tomorrow she’d probably find three more messages from him. Amedeo was a man of action. Making him wait was probably cruel, but she needed this time. He was just going to have to live with it.
“Now, that’s better. He doesn’t have to call the hospitals. He knows you’re safe.”
“He’s still going to call me.”
“You turned off your phone. No worries. He doesn’t have my number or even know that you’re here. He and I have never met so you’re safe for the moment,” Kalia said.
Violet nodded. “What am I going to do about this child?”
“You’re not going to make any decisions tonight. We’re going to watch a movie and not think about anything. I can pop some popcorn.”
“That would be great. I’m starving. All I do is eat these days,” Violet said.
She’d never been one to worry about her weight, but she didn’t like feeling out of control. That’s what her appetite made her feel like. Maybe it was all anxiety, too. All wrapped up in this poor child that she was going to be the mother of.
She didn’t feel as if anyone in history was less equipped than she was to be a mother. She’d take to being a rhinoceros more easily than she might take to motherhood.
Time would tell.
***
Amedeo didn’t sleep much that night. He was used to having Violet next to him. The bed seemed so big and cold.
Now he paced his house waiting for Violet. She’d called his driver and was on her way home. Home. Yes. This was her home. Even if it was a temporary one, he thought of her as part of home.
He just wanted to see her. Make sure she was okay. Where did she sleep last night? Hopefully not on the street. Or in a park. He wished she’d just come back last night to sleep in another bed. Then he would have been at peace.
Is this what it means to worry about someone else? He would worry about his child, wouldn’t he? Just like this.
He sighed, rubbing a spot on his chest. His heart hurt. He gave himself a pep talk. He could do this parenting thing. Having taken on other challenges in his life, he knew he could take on this one.
Besides, he had no choice.
The front door opened. Amedeo hurried into the hallway. There stood Violet. She wore the same clothes from yesterday, but she looked like she’d showered. So she hadn’t slept on the street. Where had she gone?
Guess it didn’t matter now.
He stopped a few feet from her. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Hers sounded a little tired and part of him liked that she hadn’t slept well either. If she’d just come home, he would have made her a snack and put her to bed. Even if she didn’t want to sleep in his bed, she would have been under his roof. Probably where she belonged.