When she finally stops crying and pulls away, I'm grateful. I'm feeling weak and emotional myself and she's only making it worse. I mean, I was drawn to give her comfort, but I wasn't expecting … this, and I'm not entirely comfortable with it. I don't know this woman yet. And I'm still not sure I want to.
The thing is, I don't think I have a choice. At least not a good one. Not one that wouldn't put me at odds with my husband, and I would never do anything to push him away. Even if it means letting his ex and their daughter into my life.
I swallow a lump of emotion and take a step away from her. Her blue eyes are red-rimmed and swollen, and she looks like she hasn't slept in days.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure that's the last thing you wanted or needed this morning." I try my smile again. It's tremulous at best, but it seems to suffice as an answer. "I'm just … stressed. It's been a long couple of weeks and I haven't had a good night's sleep since … I can't even remember when."
"Have you been sleeping in your car?" Cash asks, a razor edge to his tone.
Sophie has the good grace to blush. "We stayed in a motel a few nights, but Izzy has really bad allergies and I think the industrial cleaners they use bother her. She does much better in a car if she can't be in a home."
A terrible sinking sensation spreads through the pit of my stomach. It's like a vacuum, threatening to suck me into the black hole developing at my center. My knees feel weak with it. My heart feels heavy with it.
I know where this is going and I feel powerless to stop it. This woman could be the mother of Cash's child. The little girl in the office could be Cash's daughter. How can I be the person to stand in the way of him helping them as much as possible? How can I be the person who is so insecure in her relationship with him that she demands he turn away his own flesh and blood simply because they make me uncomfortable? How can I be that woman?
I can't.
I just can't.
No matter how much I don't like it, no matter how much I wish Cash will turn out not to be the father, I can't be the one who drives a wedge between them. One day he would resent me for it. I would resent me for it. I don't want to be petty and heartless. I don't want to be needy and weak. I want to be strong, confident in Cash's love. Able to stand beside, come what may. Even if that is an old love with a new child.
So I take the bold step. I take control. At least I'll have that.
"You could stay at the condo," I blurt.
In my peripheral vision, I see Cash's head whip toward me. Whether in surprise or disapproval, I don't know. I'm not looking at him. I'm looking at Sophie.
"I couldn't do that. Besides, I wouldn't want to leave Isabella there unattended while I try to find a job. And then while I have to work. If only it were closer … "
"What is it that you want, Sophie?" Cash asks, crossing his thick arms over his thicker chest. I sneak a glance at him and he doesn't look very happy. "I'm not into games anymore."
Sophie's eyes dart from Cash to me and back again before she answers. Although her voice is meek when she speaks, something about her posture tells me that she's got a backbone of steel under there. And if she does, how has she allowed herself to get into this position? To what end?
I might never know, but it certainly looks like I'm going to have plenty of time to try and figure it out. My fear, the one that has my stomach sinking all over again, is playing out in real life. I can feel it before she even opens her mouth. And when she does, my heart burns in my chest.
"Honestly, I was hoping that you'd let me pick up some shifts here and stay in the back until I can find something else for Isabella and me. Just for a few weeks."
"That's out -"
She interrupts Cash before he can even finish his thought, finish what sounded like a denial of her request. "I'd know she was safe and I'd never be far. And you, you'd be able to get to know your daughter with her right here. We'd be so close. It would be perfect, Cash. Can't you see that?"
She tips her head to the side and takes a step toward him. It's my gasp-the gasp triggered by my imagination filling in all the blanks she's leaving open-that stops her. I see her sidelong glance in my direction and, for the first time since she walked into the club last night, I get a glimpse of what she wants. What she really wants.
And it's not just a bed and a job.
No, she wants much more than that. And I'm the only thing standing in her way.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Olivia
Sophie is smart. I'll give her that. She obviously knows Cash well enough to know that he can't be bulldozed or coerced. At least not without a damned effective weapon.
And a child – his child-is just such a weapon.
"I'm not asking you to do it for me, Cash. I'm asking you to do it for your daughter. So she can rest well. So she can know her father. At least until we can figure out a way forward."