Always with You - Part One(4)

She nods, her big, glassy eyes filling with tears. "I needed this. I needed you."

"I know. That's why I made her leave and came back here. I could feel your heart breaking like an earthquake. Once the shock wore off, I just wanted her out of here so I could get to you. You'll always be the most important person in any room."

"I have to be adult about this, though. I have to come to terms with the possibility that we might not be able to have children of our own. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy an unexpected child." 

"If she's mine."

"If she's yours," she agrees.

"You know I'll do whatever you want, right?"

"I know. And I know that you know that I could never, would never ask you not to participate in your child's life, no matter who the mother is."

As much as I hate how hurtful this is for her, and how hard it will be for her, I never doubted that Olivia would do the right thing. Not once.

"I do know that. Your compassion is one of the things I love most about you. I know you would never hold a child's birth circumstance against it."

"No, I couldn't do that. No matter how much I'd like to."

"Wanting to makes you human. Refusing to makes you Olivia."

"Cash, please be patient with me. Knowing the right thing and doing the right thing still doesn't make it easy to do the right thing. And lately, I've been so … so … "

I can see by the line between her eyebrows that distress is setting back in. "I know, baby. I know. I wish I could take it away. All of it. All of the stress and the disappointment and the doubt. And I'm doing everything I can to make you feel loved, no matter what happens."

"I know you are. It's just … it's just hard."

"That doesn't mean we'll stop trying, though. None of this changes anything. Not really."

"I hope not. I really, really hope not."

The dejected note in her voice reminds me that no matter how brave and resolute her words, there is still a rough road ahead for my wife. And there's little I can do to change it.





CHAPTER THREE



Olivia



I feel somewhat better when I wake. Cash is still asleep next to me and his body heat radiates toward me much like his love does, which has been hitting me full force since the moment he stepped into the bathroom last night.

We eventually made our way back to the Christmas celebration. Sophie and her surprise visit never made it back into the conversation, for which I was very thankful, but I could tell by the sympathetic looks and all the spontaneous hugs I got that everyone was feeling sorry for the fragile Olivia. I guess it's no secret to anyone now that I'm having difficulty conceiving. At least everyone, including my mean and outspoken mother, had the good grace and common courtesy not to mention it.

I found a nice respite for my worries in watching Ginger. I've never seen her engage in casual, cautious flirtation before. It was quite interesting. It was equally interesting to see Gavin turn on his full charm. Maybe he'd thought she wasn't interested in him. Or maybe he was keeping a distance out of respect for Cash and me. I don't know, but whatever his reasons for keeping that distance, they evaporated last night. I make a mental note to call Ginger later and see if she slept alone last night. She and Gavin were the last to leave and they walked out together, so it's hard to tell.

Once we got back to the apartment that we're still staying in behind the office, Cash undressed me sweetly, carried me to bed and spooned me until I was fast asleep. I thought at first that we might make love, but another failed attempt to create a child wouldn't have been a good fit for me today, so I have to give props to my intuitive husband for not pressing the matter.

The phone rings, shattering the early morning quiet. Cash groggily reaches for his phone, his voice muffled by the pillow as he speaks into it.

"What?"

I listen to Cash's end of the conversation, my curiosity rising with each word.

"She what?"

"In this parking lot?"



       
         
       
        

"Why the hell didn't she tell me she had no money and nowhere to go?"

My heart sinks. I don't have to hear both voices to know who's being discussed. And if this woman, who Cash obviously knew intimately some years ago, and her child, who she claims is Cash's, don't have a place to go, that can only mean that my life is about to get even harder. Even more complicated.

"Fine. I'll take care of it. Thanks for the head's up, man."

Cash tosses his phone back on the nightstand with a loud clatter and then rolls onto his back. He throws his arm over his eyes and I can see the muscle along his jawline twitching rhythmically. When Cash grits his teeth, his temper is stirring to life. And he's definitely gritting his teeth.