I turn back to Sophie.
"What are you doing here? How's Olivia's father?" she asks, raising her hands above her head to fluff her wet hair. She shakes and twists an inordinate amount, enough to make her hard nipples strain against the material of my shirt. I'm sure she's doing it on purpose.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask mildly, reaching for her upper arm and wheeling her around toward the bathroom before she can even answer me. I keep my calm until the door is shut, trapping us in the steamy room together. Keeping my voice low, I curl my fingers around Sophie's other arm and jerk her up against my chest. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"
I don't want the little girl to hear me, but I want Sophie to know just how much she's pissed me off. If she can't hear it in my voice, she can damn sure see it in my furious face, glaring at hers from less than a foot away.
"I … I needed a shower. I thought … I thought we were going to be staying here. And you'd be at the hospital all day. If I'd known you were coming back, I'd have waited. I'm sorry, I just … "
She actually looks bewildered, which cools my temper a little. Maybe I'm overreacting. She really wouldn't have known I was coming so soon. Maybe the shower thing was purely coincidental. But wearing my shirt … that's got to stop.
I release her arms and step back. "No, you can make yourself at home. For a while at least. But what's up with you wearing my clothes?"
She looks down at herself and then back up at me. "Oh, God! I know how this must look. I'm so sorry, Cash! I hadn't brought the rest of our luggage in yet and I didn't want to wake Izzy, so I just grabbed something from the closet and hopped in the shower. I assumed since it wasn't packed that it would be okay."
"Olivia was a little distracted when she left, as I'm sure you can imagine," I snap defensively.
"I'm sure. I mean … her father … Oh God! I guess I … I just assumed that maybe the remaining clothes were things you planned on donating to Goodwill or something. I'm really sorry. I'll wash it as soon as I get dressed and put it back where I found it. I just … I … " she stammers nervously. She tucks her chin and backs away from me, raising a hand to rub her fingers across her forehead. "Jesus, what a mess I'm making of things!"
Her voice is low and quiet. Laced with distress. I feel guilty for giving her such a hard time, for assuming the worst when the only reason I have to believe the worst is the old Sophie that I used to know. Maybe she has changed. I'll never know if I don't stop accusing her of things before I even know she's guilty of them.
"Look, it's fine. Just a misunderstanding. In the future, though, don't wear anything that could be mine or Olivia's. That's just not … don't do that."
"You don't have to explain," she rushes in to say. "I totally get it. It would look awful if anyone else saw it. They might assume … " She sighs and shakes her head woefully. "I'm sorry, Cash. I never meant to … I just never meant to make trouble. If I'd known you were married, I wouldn't have come."
That irritates the shit out of me. "No? So you'd just have kept the existence of my daughter from me forever? Is that it?"
She raises her eyes to mine. They're wide, like a cornered animal. "No, I wouldn't do that. I mean … I'd have at least done things differently."
"Like how? Like telling me when Isabella was a baby rather than waiting until she was half grown?" I can't keep the bitter anger out of my voice.
"I should've told you. I realize that now. But please, Cash, just give me a second chance. I made mistakes. Lots of them. But I'm trying … trying my damnedest to do them better now. To do them right. Starting with making our daughter a part of your life. I'm sorry if my presence dredges up painful memories. I guess I was hoping we could put the past behind us."
Her eyes plead with me. They seem sincere.
Seem.
But I can't let my guard down. This is Sophie after all. Maybe she's changed. But then again, maybe she hasn't. Time will tell, but until it does, I'll be keeping my eye on her.
"Fine. Then let's leave the past in the past and focus on the little girl in the next room."
Her smile is tentative. "That's all I want."
I narrow my eyes on her, wishing I could see inside her head. Wishing I knew if she was telling the truth. "Is it?"
"Of course. What else would bring me here?"
That is the million dollar question.