Always the Last Word (Always the Bridesmaid #4)(25)

"Do you want there to be something going on?" Rachel asks, reaching again for the bottle of schnapps.

"I don't know," I say, squirming in my seat. Talking this over with Jamie was somehow less embarrassing than discussing it with Rachel. "I think I do."

"Then go after him. Look, I know what I'm talking about. I mean, I've just ended a three-year engagement to a guy that I've been cheating on for the past two months and I'm drunk on ice cream and schnapps at six o'clock on a Thursday in an apartment that's not even mine. Clearly, I'm a source to be trusted."

We both laugh, even though it's in poor taste and far too early to make jokes about the situation.

"He'll forgive you for not telling him about me and Hank," she says. "Now, go get him."



***



I park my car in front of Adam's apartment and wait for my heart rate to drop from a billion beats per minute.

I still don't know that this is the best idea. Rachel's drunken confidence kept pushing me on. Now, here I am, in one of my favorite dresses - it has a watercolor bird pattern and a circle skirt that fans out whenever I twirl - and contemplating whether or not to confront Adam. He never did reply to my voicemail, but I see his car parked a little further up the street from his apartment building. Carter's truck is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he's out with Carter and I can put this off until Adam decides to come to me.

I check my makeup in the mirror one more time, just to buy a few more seconds.

"You can do this, Evie," I tell myself as I step out of my car.

As I make my way up the stairs to Adam's apartment, every single stair creaks under my weight and there's no way that Adam doesn't think a buffalo is slowly creeping toward his apartment. I stand in front of his door for a solid two minutes before getting up the nerve to knock.

I do a quick rap on the door and hear movement on the other side. After what feels like ten hours with no one opening the door, I assume that Adam looked through the peephole and decided that I wasn't worth speaking to. Just as I turn to leave, I hear the doorknob turn. I spin around to see …  definitely not Adam.

"Can I help you?"

It's Zoe. Adam's ex-girlfriend.

Of course.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," I say as I force my facial features to look indifferent at what is playing out in front of me. "I was just in the neighborhood and was going to say hi to Adam."

At the mention of his name, Zoe opens the door wider, purely for me to see Adam standing a few feet away with the top buttons of his shirt undone and Zoe's dark red lipstick on his neck.

"I see I caught you at a bad time," I say to Adam with an obvious fake laugh but I look at Zoe. If I make eye contact with Adam, I'll cry. "I'll be on my way."

As I turn to leave, I hear Adam call my name, but I keep walking. He follows me out of his apartment, but doesn't leave the landing as I continue down the steps.

"Evie, it's-"

"It's fine. Really," I say as I keep walking. I refuse to give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. "Have a nice evening, Adam."



       
         
       
        





Chapter Twenty-Three



Hitler, Mussolini, the person that invented those inflatable wavy arm things at car dealerships, Donald Trump …

If I keep listing terrible people, maybe I won't feel so bad about what I've just done. Or, should I say, who I've just done.

I wonder if Adam feels this horrible about being with Zoe. I hope not. This gut-wrenching, toxic feeling is something that Adam doesn't deserve.

"I'm so sorry about this, Grant," I say. I practically spring out of his bed and begin to collect my clothing that is thrown about his room. I force my arms into the straps of my bra. "I'm just so sorry for all of this."

"For what? For using me?" Grant laughs as he drops his phone into the sheets and gets out of bed. "Trust me, Evie. No apology is necessary for what we just did."

My face reddens as I work myself back into my dress. Once I get the zipper done, Grant is standing directly in front of me. He gives my forehead a kiss and pulls me close to him.

Of course he's behaving this way now. Right when I don't want him to be a good guy.

"Where was this last year?" I ask, pulling away from him.

"Where was what?" he asks, dropping his arms.

"This. You being …  sweet."

"Have I not always been sweet?"

I snort. "Hardly."

"That hurts," he tells me with that easy laugh of his.

Fully dressed, I sit on the edge of Grant's bed. "Look, I don't think you're a bad guy. But I do know that I'm not right girl for you."

A flicker of regret registers on his face. I don't think it's for me, though. The sadness in his eyes fades as quickly as it came.

"So, this is really it?" He plops down next to me on his bed and pats my knee a few times.

I nod. I thought I would be more upset by the end of this, but I only feel calm. I don't necessarily regret the past year. As cliché as it sounds, I've learned some things about myself. Namely, I cannot sleep with someone without getting attached. It's just not who I am.

"How did you know that I was using you this time?" I ask.

Grant shrugs. "Because you practically jumped my bones as soon as I answered the door. That's not your style. I knew there was something going on, but you had your tongue so far down my throat I didn't have a chance to ask."

I snort. He wouldn't have questioned my actions regardless of what my tongue was doing.

"So, who's the guy?" he asks.

"What?" I ask, eyes wide as I play dumb. To be fair, it usually works on Grant. 

"Come on, Evie. I'm not a complete idiot. Who's the guy?"

"His name's Adam. He's a baker."

"You're telling me I'm losing you to a guy that bakes cookies for a living?" Grant shakes his head in bewilderment. "I have got to step up my game."

I laugh. "He also collects comic books."

"Jesus, have I lost all my mojo?" he asks rhetorically. He looks back at me. "So, why are you with me right now instead of this nerdy baker guy?"

"Because when I went to tell him how I feel about him, his ex-girlfriend answered the door." Before I know it, I'm telling Grant everything. How I hated Adam, how he hated me, how we made a deal to keep Carter and Rachel together, how Rachel was emotionally cheating on Carter with my brother (unsurprisingly, Grant treats the term "emotional cheating" in as disgusted a manner as Adam did), how I ghosted on Adam so he wouldn't find out about Rachel and Hank, and how that blew up in my face anyway. Once I wrap up my tale, I take a deep breath. Grant is just staring at me with raised eyebrows.

"What are you going to do about it?" he finally asks.

I shrug. "He's with his ex-girlfriend. What else can I do but move on?"

Grant nods. "Good answer. If you need any help moving on, my bed is always open to you."

"Thanks for your sacrifice," I say with a smile. We high-five. "Bye Grant."

"Later, Evie."



***



"Texas?" Jamie's shrill cry can be heard across the entire shop. Hell, people in Tennessee probably heard her.

So, I guess Rachel finally called and told her the news about her and Carter.

Now would be an ideal time for me to vanish. I inform Darlene in alterations that I'm going to pull a dress from the backroom, when really I'm going to cower in fear behind a rack of dresses and pray that Jamie doesn't find me. My shift ends at five; I can easily hide out for two hours.

I've just opened the door to the back room when I hear Jamie's voice behind me saying, "Oh no, you don't."

So close. So very close.

"Look, I know you're going through something. Obviously," Jamie says as she gestures at my outfit. It's true that I've let myself go a little in the wardrobe department since seeing Zoe's lipstick on Adam's skin. I'm actually in pants today instead of my usual dress. "But how could you not tell me about Rachel and Carter breaking up?"

I sigh. "It wasn't my place. And, honestly, I couldn't handle you going all Jamie on me."

"If I didn't know I was intense and a little shrill, I would be offended by that statement," she says. "I'm sorry that I was hard on you about Rachel and Carter's wedding."

"It's okay. It's who you are as a person," I tell her, but I smile so the words don't sound as harsh (or as truthful) as they actually are.

"So, what happened?" she asks, ready for the gossip.

I give her the abridged version. I leave out everything about Adam. I'm trying to move on, but it hurts every time I think his name. Jamie notices the absence of his name and can tell that I'm omitting the information for a reason. She manages to exercise self-control and not press me on that issue.

"I hate that Rachel and Carter broke up. This drops my success rate," she mumbles as she types something into her phone. I stare at her until she looks up at me. With rolled eyes and a sigh, she says, "And I'm sad for them too, of course."

"That sounds better," I say.