Altered Carbon(184)

I let go of Curtis’s hair and stood back while he climbed to his feet. “I wasn’t this stupid at any age,” I said untruthfully. “Do you want to tell him to back off, instead? Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“Curtis, go and wait for me in the limousine. I won’t be long.”

“Are you going to let him—”

“Curtis!” There was a cordial astonishment in her tone, as if there must be some mistake, as if answering back just wasn’t on the menu. Curtis’s face flushed when he heard it, and he stalked away from us with tears of consternation standing in his eyes. I watched him out of sight, still not convinced I shouldn’t have hit him again. Miriam Bancroft must have read the thought on my face.

“I would have thought even your appetite for violence had been sated by now,” she said quietly. “Are you still looking for targets?”

“Who says I’m looking for targets?”

“You did.”

I looked quickly at her. “I don’t remember that.”

“How convenient.”

“No, you don’t understand.” I lifted my open hands towards her. “I don’t remember it. Everything we did together is gone. I don’t have those memories. It’s been wiped.”

She flinched as if I’d struck her.

“But you,” she said in pieces. “I thought. You look—”

“The same.” I looked down at myself, at Ryker’s sleeve. “Well, there wasn’t much left of the other sleeve when they fished me out of the sea. This was the only option. And the UN investigators point-blank refused to allow another double sleeving. Don’t blame them, really. It’s going to be hard enough to justify the one we did as it is.”

“But how did you—”

“Decide?” I smiled without much enthusiasm. “Shall we go inside and talk about this?”

I let her lead me back up to the conservatory, where someone had set out a jug and tall-stemmed glasses on the ornamental table beneath the martyrweed stands. The jug was filled with a liquid the colour of sunsets. We took seats opposite each other without exchanging words or glances. She poured herself a glass without offering me one, a tiny casualness that spoke volumes about what had happened between Miriam Bancroft and my other self.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much time,” she said absently. “As I told you on the phone, Laurens has asked me to come to New York immediately. I was actually on my way out when you called.”

I said nothing, waiting, and when she had finished pouring I got my own glass. The move felt bone-deep wrong, and my awkwardness must have shown. She started with realisation.

“Oh, I—”

“Forget it.” I settled back into my seat and sipped at the drink. It had a faint bite beneath the mellowness. “You wanted to know how we decided? We gambled. Paper, scissors, stone. Of course, we talked around it for hours first. They had us in a virtual forum over in New York, very high ratio, discretion-shielded while we made up our minds. No expense spared for the heroes of the hour.”

I found an edge of bitterness creeping into my voice, and I had to stop to dump it. I took a longer pull at my drink.

“Like I said, we talked. A lot. We thought of a lot of different ways to decide, some of them were maybe even viable, but in the end we kept coming back to it. Scissors, paper, stone. Best of five. Why not?”

I shrugged, but it was not the casual gesture I hoped it would appear. I was still trying to shake off the cold that crept through me whenever I thought about that game, trying to second-guess myself with my own existence at stake. The best of five, and it had gone to two all. My heart was beating like the junk rhythm in Jerry’s Closed Quarters, and I was dizzy with adrenalin. Even facing Kawahara hadn’t been this hard.

When he lost the last round—stone to my paper—we both stared at our two extended hands for what seemed like a long time. Then, he’d got up with a faint smile and cocked his thumb and forefinger at his own head, somewhere midway between a salute and a burlesque of suicide.

“Anything I should tell Jimmy when I see him?”

I shook my head wordlessly.

“Well, have a nice life,” he said, and left the sunlit room, closing the door gently behind him. Part of me was still screaming inside that he had somehow thrown the last game.

They re-sleeved me the next day.

I looked up again. “Now I guess you’re wondering why I bothered coming here.”

“Yes, I am.”

“It concerns Sheryl Bostock,” I said.

“Who?”

I sighed. “Miriam, please. Don’t make this any tougher than it already is. Sheryl Bostock is shit-scared you’re going to have her torched because of what she knows. I’ve come here to have you convince me she’s wrong, because that’s what I promised her.”