Alrek(28)

“Step aside,” Alrek demanded and received a sharp look from Ilisa.

Galan pushed in front of his father and eyed Alrek. “I think perhaps you love her. And who could blame you? She is a fine woman indeed. But she is Pict and you are a Viking. You are a selfish man, Viking. You have put Ilisa in grave danger and you are tempering her heritage. Shall you ask her to worship your gods? To live as a Viking woman in her land? No one will ever accept you and before long, the people will rise against you—and her. You shall bring pain and suffering to her doorstep once more just as your people did in the past.”

Alrek narrowed his eyes at the dark-haired man and glared at him. But deep inside his gut churned and his mind reeled. He would not reveal as much to Galan however. A movement from one of the men caught his eye and he lunged for him, twisting the sword from his grasp and pulling the man into a tight grip. He held the sword out and snarled.

“Let us pass and no one shall be harmed.”

“Alrek!” Ilisa’s eyes were wide,fearful. “They have issued no threats. Release him!”

He saw himself then as she saw him. A wild snarling beast—no better than the wolves. He shoved the Pict away and threw down the blade, his breaths heavy with defeat. He shoved past the men and out of the gate without glancing back.

“Viking,” Galan called. “A ship has been spotted not a day away. They look to be landing soon. Mayhap you should return and be with your own kind. And warn them that if they make an attempt on our village they shall be met with force.”

He paused, drew in a breath and stomped on. Ilisa did not catch up with him until the village palisades were far behind him. She snatched his arm. “Where are you going, Alrek?” she asked breathlessly.

Alrek stopped and turned to face her. “Home.”

“Our home?”

“Nay, my home.” Pain flickered in her gaze, tearing his heart. “Forgive me, Ilisa, I was wrong to think we could overcome our differences and be together. Galan is right. I am putting you in danger here.”

“Nay—”

He cradled her face. “Can you tell me you honestly believe they will let us live peacefully?”

“I—” Tears lined her eyes, ready to fall.

“I have fought and raided too, Ilisa. I cannot say how many innocent people I may have killed.” He gulped as she searched his gaze. “I do not deserve a woman such as you and the chief was right to lay the sins of my people at my feet. I am no better than them.”

Several breaths passed between them. His pulse pounded painfully in his head, his insides crumpled further.

“You are a good man.”

“You are a special woman. I shall never forget you.” He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She sobbed quietly but made no protests. She had to know as well as he did that they had always been doomed to fail. When he drew back, he realised the skies had darkened. He scowled and peered up at them. This was right, so why were the gods angry?

“Come, let us return before it rains. I shall need to keep an eye out for the ship.”

She slipped her hand in his again, the movement so familiar and heart breaking. Never again would he hold her hand or touch her face, hear her voice or taste her lips. But he couldn’t stay. He was no better than his kin. Ilisa lived in a world that had almost eroded her culture. He couldn’t dilute it further and put her life at risk. Who knew who these Norsemen were? If it was his own crew he’d have no qualms about asking her to come with him, but these men might not take to a Pict woman aboard their ship.

When they reached the farm, rain had begun to fall in fat heavy drops. He ushered Ilisa inside and eyed the cottage. At least he had helped her a little. Her roof no longer leaked and the stone wall was almost complete once more. It hardly felt enough to make up for his people having killed her family and for the pain he was going to leave her with, but better to hurt her a little than put her at risk.

Alrek gulped as she slid off her mantle and he spotted the shaking of her shoulders. Against his will, he curled his hands around her shoulders. “You must see this is for the best. I would rather die than see you harmed. If I am gone you will be safe.”

She nodded. “They will never accept you.” Ilisa turned to face him. “I understand that now and I have no wish to see you harmed, but I shall miss you forever.”

“I… I would take you if I could, but ‘tis too dangerous. I cannot risk your life. Mayhap when I am settled I can come back…?”

“My people need me. I—” A sob split her words. “I shall miss you forever.”

His eyes itched and he had to step away before he crumpled. He didn’t return her words though they rattled through his skull over and over. His throat remained tight and he didn’t trust himself to speak, but he knew he too would miss her for eternity.