Alphas on Top(57)

We just stand there for a few minutes, feeling unsure of where we both stand, but when I see a single tear fall down his cheek, I am done with the distance. Dropping my keys and purse to the floor, I take off and rush into his arms.

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” he whispers brokenly into my hair.

“I know.” I do, after letting it all out last night and feeling as though my world had ended. When I woke up this morning, and the pain had faded but the anger hadn’t. I know in my heart that Greg would never intentionally hurt me but it still stings. Out of all the garbage that Mandy had thrown at my feet last night, I know he wouldn’t have said all of that to her. He might have mentioned Simon, in whatever capacity, but he never would have spoken about me… about us, like that. It is easier to begin to understand his motivation when I put that past me.

After I had Emmy pick me up this morning and take me back to Heavy’s to get my car, I drove straight to Fia’s grave and talked to the one person who I knew would get me.

Hours. I spent hours laying on the cool grass next to my sister’s grave and talked to her. It wasn’t easy talking to someone who wasn’t able to talk back to you, but I needed her and this was the best place.

When I finished my chat with Fia’s cold tombstone, I had realized one thing. This man would do anything to protect me. He would protect my body with his own. And he would protect my feelings and my heart by keeping something from me that could be damaging. I knew that he was doing what he felt was the right thing. Didn’t make it right, but it is what it is.

In the end, I had to ask myself if I could live without this man in my life just because he kept something from me. And no, there is no way I could give him and what we have just because of this.

“I didn’t think you would come back,” he mumbles against my neck. He gives me a soft kiss and inhales loudly. “I would have hunted you down by dinner; giving you space was the hardest thing I have done in a long time.”

“I know. I needed to clear my head.”

“I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am that I didn’t just tell you, but we were new and I didn’t know how you would handle it, baby. I had planned on telling you; I just didn’t know how.” His eyes are searching mine, begging me to hear his words. “I hurt you and it is eating me alive.”

“Stop, please?” His lips clamp shut and I bring my hand up to run my fingers across them softly. His eyes continue pleading with me, asking for forgiveness that he doesn’t need. “I understand now, why you did it and it’s okay. Last night I was so far in my own head that it would have been terrible if I had come right home. I am so sorry for running but I had to. I know it sounds childish but I had to.”

“I was afraid you would blame me. Fuck, I’ve been doing it to myself for years, so why wouldn’t you?” I’m clearly confused now because I can’t figure out for the life of me why I would blame him for not telling me that he knew Simon. Sure, the thought filtered through my mind in anger last night that he could have somehow prevented Fia’s death, but even I know how ludicrous that is in the light of day.

“Baby, what could I possible blame you for? Having a hard time dealing with the loss of your sister? I did too; hell, I still do. Not telling me about our connection through that son of a bitch? I don’t blame you for that. I understand you thought it was the best and, baby…I can’t say for sure, but if you would have sprung that on me right away, I might have freaked out.”

“Doesn’t make it right, Beauty. I hurt you.” His words hit my heart and the love I feel for this man just grows. He has torn himself to pieces because he indirectly hurt me. Whatever I did to deserve a man like him, I feel blessed that I am even allowed a gift like that. I place my hands on both sides of his scruffy face and pull him down to my lips. It’s just a soft meeting of our mouths, but enough for him to feel my love and assurance that we are okay.

“My feelings were hurt, but Greg, you can’t protect me from everything. Even you will hurt my feelings every now and then. What’s important is that you don’t keep things from me. We are a team, and from now on, it’s complete honesty, okay?”

“Love you so much, baby.” He says softly before kissing me deeply.

He continues to devour my lips in a kiss that is almost bruising. He is letting out everything he has felt over the last twenty-four hours and pouring it into this kiss. I feel owned, loved, cherished, and branded. His hands are frantic against my body, pulling my shirt over my head and in his haste to get my bra unhooked, he snaps the clasp clear off the bra. He pauses long enough to pull his shirt over his head, and that gives me enough time to shed my jeans and underwear. Before I can even blink, he has me backed up to the wall and his lips back on mine. His hands roam over my skin, causing it to get tight, and a chill to flash through my body. I love the feel of his hard body against my softness. How his hard muscles feel against my fingertips.