Oceans. His eyes could have carried oceans; they were that dark and deep. Stunned. His lips were parted, but not a sound came out.
“Is that what I should do, Jacob?” Holly held her gaze, though her voice fell nearly to a whisper. “Should I prepare for you to leave me?”
“No…” His hand cupped the side of her face, his brown eyes going suddenly soft and intense at the same time. “We’ll figure this out.”
Her hand drew over his and she entwined their fingers and then pressed a kiss to his palm. “I’m trying to help you. I’m trying so hard. And every time you do something like that…it feels like you’re spitting in my face.”
Jacob glanced up at her, eyebrows lifted.
Holly continued, “Which…you know. If it’s in the bedroom, that’s one thing. I like when you humiliate me there. Where it’s just us and it’s…safe. But outside…I need you to respect me. I need us to be a team. We can’t be a family unless we’re a team, and that scares me.”
His hand gave hers a single tight squeeze. “It’s been…just me. For so long. I had to take care of my siblings when I was just a kid myself. It left a mark. Makes it hard for me to accept someone else’s help.”
Holly pulled her hair back to bare her scar. “You left a mark. We’re even.”
He smiled. A small smile. Then it turned sad. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” she said. “Show me.”
Chapter 58
The crickets outside chirred noisily and the pages crinkled as Jacob turned them over. Holly had her research sprawled out on the table in front of him and Jacob sat there quietly, going through it bit by bit. Any other day, she’d have to fight him to sit down and go over this with her. Now, he was quiet, thoughtful, and he read through every word, his glasses perched on his nose. “That’s him?” he asked.
Holly nodded. “Robin Hoyte. Bonafide witch. Or…wizard. Is that the term?”
“Warlock,” Jacob said evenly. Holly found it strange that she—who had read the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, and Wicked countless times—couldn’t seem to spit the right words out, while these wild, fantastical words somehow sounded natural rolling off the mountain man’s tongue.
“He’s the one who put this spell on your clan. He cursed the Alphas with…moonlust. He’s gone, I think, but his power is still in that talisman. At least, that’s the theory,” Holly corrected herself.
Jacob stared at the picture for a moment and then took off his glasses and set them down on the table. Holly could hear the rough scratch of his beard as he rubbed his hand over it thoughtfully. “She had the talisman the whole time,” he said. His tone was deep, hardened. “Miranda knows what it’s capable of. And she’s just been sitting back and watching me suffer.”
Holly saw it. The golden shimmer around his irises. The violence in his voice. He was working himself into a rage. All night, he’d been trying to pick a fight. Holly slipped her hand down the back of his neck, petting the scruffy hair there, and said, “We’ll get it back—”
“It’s a betrayal,” he growled. That word, it had gotten under his skin and infected him. Ever since Brent. Everyone was out to betray him.
It scared her seeing him like this, all cold metal and sharp, jagged edges. It felt like she was losing him already. “Shhh,” Holly said and drew his face in close. She pressed a kiss to his mouth and said, “You’re getting yourself worked up, Jacob. She’s not worth it.”
But then his attention was on her, the big bad wolf peering through the cracks in the foliage, and Holly felt a shiver run down her spine. He grabbed her suddenly, ferociously, and kissed her hard enough to bruise her lips.
She’d asked for this, Holly reminded herself. She’d wanted him to give her his Beast. And it took her breath away when he got like this, all singular need and aggression. Kissing her like he meant to devour her, fucking her like he meant to split her in half. It made her skin burn, her nether lips swell, and she dug her nails into his shoulder, a quiet reminder (it’s okay, I’m here).
Jacob didn’t stop there, though. His hand found her throat and he gripped hard—too hard. He didn’t know his own strength. She gasped, vision blurring briefly, and then a thought flashed through her head: baby.
“Jacob—wait, slow,” she rasped, and he stopped, releasing her.
The Beast hadn’t left, but worry locked in his eyes now. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, swallowed. “Yeah…just….take it slow. Please.”