“I guess stubborn runs in the family,” Holly blurted out before she could stop herself. As soon as the words echoed back in her ears, she felt horrified. She imagined erasing them, popping a badly written dialogue bubble above her head. The last thing she wanted to do was air dirty marital laundry.
Rather than looking irritated, Cassidy cocked a grin. Amused. “Y’got barked at, huh? I ain’t surprised. Jacob’s all gruff and snarl and you roll belly-up at the first sign of trouble.”
“I don’t,” Holly protested, but even as Cassidy said it, she knew the truth in the other woman’s words. She’d barely put up a fight in the home goods store. Jacob barked; Holly backed down.
Cassidy lifted her eyebrows skeptically. “Uh-huh. Tell you what, you and your little feet stay here and help with homework, I’ll go and lend Brent a hand. Deal?”
Holly tried not to sound relieved. “Deal.” Grading papers was far more up her alley and Trish had the look of a girl hungry to learn. And anything was better than dissecting her communication issues with Jacob.
“Alright. Don’t let them boss you around too much,” Cassidy said, shooting her children a dramatic look (behave) before she left.
Chapter 43
Holly spent the next couple hours tutoring the twins and helping Tanner craft his essay. By time she finished, he seemed to at least have a handle on it. Meanwhile, Dave finished preparing dinner and Cassidy finished helping Brent and they more or less demanded Holly stay for dinner. Holly spent the next half an hour getting pumped for information by Cassidy, as though the other woman was testing her. Holly answered in vague monosyllables until she could finally (politely) make an exit. It seemed that no matter what she did, she couldn’t prove to Cassidy that she was “part of the clan.” Slow and steady climb uphill, Holly told herself. They’d get there. Eventually.
By the time Holly got home, Jacob still wasn’t there. The sun had fallen behind the trees, casting a red glow over the mountaintop, and Holly tried not to let her nerves get the better of her. She graded last night’s homework, lit a fire in the fireplace, and then read another chapter of her book while she waited for him. All the time, she glanced repeatedly at her watch. Finally, she flipped open her phone, found his number, and texted:
[SMS: Apples4Days] Is everything okay?
Just then, Jacob burst through the door, making Holly jump in her spot. She rose, quickly, dropping her book.
“Jacob,” she said. “I was just…texting you…”
He turned on her when she spoke and Holly buttoned her lips. He looked wild, untamed, his hair askew and his eyes frantic. He softened a little when he saw her, but there was still a frenetic energy bouncing around him, even when he stepped closer and pressed a small, chaste greeting kiss to her mouth.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” she replied. His eyes were distracted, unfocused. Holly glanced down and noticed his bottom shirt buttons were uneven, like he had redressed in a hurry. A spike of paranoia shot through her.
“Where were you?” she asked and surprised herself with the sharpness of her tone.
“Out,” he said, vaguely, brushing it off. “I had a job up on the mountain and it kept me late—”
“No,” Holly said and moved her hand to the side of his face, forcing him to look at her. He could lie to the wall, maybe, but he wouldn’t lie to her like this, looking straight into her eyes. “Where were you? Really.”
Jacob looked torn and then finally gave in, just a little. “Things went south,” he said. “The Beast took over and I couldn’t control it.”
“What happened?” her eyes were glued to him now.
“I changed,” he said, reluctantly. “Fully.”
Her heart went cold at that. She knew each full change for him was more dangerous than the last. Every change meant that he might not change back.
“Jacob…” her voice rang out sympathetically.
He pulled away from her then and began to pace the living room. “I know,” he said, his voice stern, like a chastised teenager. “It’s dangerous. I’m dangerous. It won’t happen again.”
Holly watched him pace and saw the tortured expression on his face. No matter what she did, it was never enough. No matter how much she worked on the ranch or what lengths she went to in order to try to blend in with the clan, it wouldn’t be enough to calm the storm tearing through his soul. He had ripped her from her own stagnant life and given her a reason to live—really live again, not simply exist. And yet here he was, still suffering, even after he’d marked her. The thought made her feel helpless. He was her husband; wasn’t it her job to keep him sane?