Alpha (Shifters #6)(38)

“That’s why she has us.” Uncle Rick watched Taylor from the other side of the room. “She’s come a long way this year, and her father knew what he was doing when he named her. She has us for guidance and advice, and frankly, we don’t have time for her to gain any more experience, unless it’s on the job. The south-central Pride needs an Alpha, and it needs one now.”
“Councilman Taylor’s right.” I felt the words echo in my hollow, aching chest. I stood, facing them all, and Marc backed up to give me space. “I am inexperienced, I have made some poor choices, and sometimes I speak without thinking. I’m not going to make excuses.” I looked up from the floor and met Taylor’s assessing gaze. “All I can say regarding the mistakes I’ve made since becoming an enforcer is that I was truly trying to do the right thing. And I hope that with older, wiser, more experienced friends and allies at my back, I’ll have the resources I need to make more informed, better-balanced decisions.”I smiled at my uncle to thank him for his support, then turned to Taylor again. “But you have to make your own choices, and while obviously I wish that you had the confidence in me to decide now, I have to admit I understand your hesitation.” Though it bruised some deep part of me to say those words. “But with all due respect, there’s another important point I think you may be missing.”
Taylor raised both brows, silently waiting for me to go on.
I took a deep breath and pressed on. “We’re kind of out of options here. If I’m not going to be Alpha, who will be? Marc would get even less support in the position than I would.” I glanced at Marc to see him nodding solemnly, as I repeated what he’d first told me. “And Uncle Rick is right—we can’t afford to be leaderless. Especially now.”
Taylor glanced from me to my uncle, then back to me, seeming to consider.
“There has to be another option. An interim leader of some sort, just until you gain a little more experience.”
I shook my head slowly. “Councilman, do you have a plan for what will happen to your Pride if you were to die suddenly?”
“Yes, of course. Since Carissa hasn’t chosen a husband yet, her oldest brother would take over until she’s ready to settle down with a new Alpha.”
That time I nodded. “My father had a contingency plan, too, and this is it. He knew—just like all of you surely do—that an Alpha could die at any time, and as much as he loves me, I know for a fact that he would never have named me as the next Alpha if he’d had a better choice. With his dying breath, he would have done what’s best for the Pride. And I have to believe that’s exactly what he did.”
Taylor watched me in silence, obviously struggling with the decision.
“Aaron,” my uncle said, breaking the tense silence. “We have to present a united front on this. If we don’t, Malone will divide and conquer.”
Taylor sighed and met my gaze again. “You speak with your father’s skill and your mother’s passion. If you got anything else from either of them, I guess this might not be the worst decision your father ever made.”
I didn’t dare smile. “Does that mean…?”
“You have my vote,” Taylor said, nodding solemnly. “On the condition that you choose several levelheaded advisers. And that you listen to them.”
“Done.” I nodded, glancing at both Marc and my uncle.
“Mr. Di Carlo?” I turned toward Vic’s father, well aware that Vic and Teo—and everyone else in the room—were watching us. “Do you need more time to make your decision?”
Di Carlo smiled and reached out for my hand, swallowing it in both of his. “No. I trusted your father with my life, and I trust his decision. You are a fiery little ball of fierce determination tempered by a strong moral compass and a heart as big as a bruin’s. The rest will come with time and experience, if you listen to your advisers and learn from your mistakes. And I think you’ll do both of those, won’t you?” 
I could only nod, determined not to cry again until I was alone. “Thank you.” I swallowed back unshed tears of gratitude. “I’ll do my best not to disappoint you.”
“Oh, child, it’s not my expectations you have to meet. It’s your Pride’s. And something tells me your own standards are higher than even what they would expect of you.”
With a sudden jolt of understanding, I realized he was right. My expectations for myself were sky-high, because they were the expectations my father had set from the beginning. And I would live up to them—or die trying.
When Di Carlo stepped back, I glanced around to find that most of the bruises had been iced, the cuts cleaned, and the gashes stitched. Marc was the last to receive medical attention, and Vic was finishing his sutures that very moment—a long but thankfully shallow cut along his right outer thigh.
“Okay, let’s go.” I turned toward the door, and the men stood.
“Um, Faythe?” Marc reached for my arm, and a small grin turned up one corner of his beautiful mouth. “As my first official piece of advice to the new Alpha, let me suggest that you put on some pants. And maybe a shirt.” His grin grew and he pulled me closer to whisper in my ear, while Jace watched us stiffly from across the room. “While this look definitely works for me, I’m thinking the other Alphas might take you more seriously if you dress the part.”
I flushed, suddenly aware that I was half-naked. And that Marc had voluntarily touched me without a needle in his hand or a grudge behind his eyes.
“Yes. Clothes. Good idea.” In the bedroom, I dug through my suitcase and chose a pair of black slacks and a matching thinly pinstriped blouse. I was buttoning my blouse when the door opened. Jace stepped inside and pushed the door closed at his back.
“You okay?” he asked.
“As okay as can be expected.” I tucked the tail of my blouse into my slacks and buckled my belt.
Jace leaned against the dresser facing me and his gaze searched mine. “I haven’t actually had a chance to say this yet, and it feels so…inadequate. But I’m so, so sorry about your dad.” He held out his arms, and I stepped into them. I let him hold me. He asked for nothing and offered only his presence, and a moment of soft, warm comfort, minutes before I’d have to show the world my steel spine and granite visage.
I put my chin on his shoulder and he rubbed my back, whispering into the hair that hid my ear. “I don’t actually remember much about my dad, but there hasn’t been a day since he died that I didn’t wish he was still here. Hell, if he were, none of this would have happened.”
“No one thing caused this, Jace. And we can’t undo it. The best we can do is end it. End Colin Dean and destroy Calvin Malone.”
“You know I’m with you. Whatever you need.”
“I know.” I sniffed back unbidden tears. “Thank you.”
Before he could answer, the door creaked open, and I pulled away from him to find Marc staring at us. His jaw tightened, but he swallowed whatever he wanted to say, no doubt out of deference to the circumstances. And to the fact that Jace and I were both fully dressed. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I straightened my shirt and cleared my throat. “I just… I need a minute. With my dad.”
Marc nodded, and I slipped down the hall and into my father’s room, closing the door behind me, trying to block out everything else—the hushed conversation, the tension and fear roiling in waves from the living room, and the conflict and need that churned in a constant, violent cloud around both Marc and Jace.I pushed it all back as I approached the bed, wading through the heavy silence in my head and the fresh ache my father’s death had left in me, only brushing the much-sharper agony that would come when I finally had time to deal with my loss. To accept it.
The sheet someone had draped over him couldn’t obscure the shape I knew so well. My father had been the single greatest strength in my life. He was the force that made the clocks tick, and the sun rise and set. In my youth, his expectations fueled my ambition and his disappointment cut deep into my heart, even when I rebelled in an attempt to forge my own path. When I grew up, making him proud still carried the same weight, even if I wouldn’t admit it.
My hands shook as I folded back the sheet. He stared up at me, unseeing, and I couldn’t stop fresh tears.
When I was a child, all problems had ended with a single word from my father. A smile from him was sunshine, his scowl a bolt of thunder. He was smart, and generous, and honorable without fail. He could exile a trespasser, check my math homework, and fix the leaky bathroom sink, all before dinner. For the longest time, I thought he was invincible. Above the petty problems that plagued normal people.
And now he was gone.
I sat on the edge of the mattress. “I’m going to do it, just like you wanted,” I whispered, wishing desperately that he could actually hear me. “I’m going to try, anyway. I’m gonna lose, but that’s not really the point, is it?” I stared at my hands in my lap, realizing for the first time that I had a narrow version of his fingernails, on my mother’s long, slender fingers. How had I never noticed that before?
“I’m not going to give up just because Malone and the others refuse to acknowledge me. I’ll find another way. I’m not going to let the Pride down.”