I didn't want him to hold back.
When his mouth came down on mine again, I kissed him back hungrily, desperate to show him that he didn't need to be careful with me. I bit at his lips, sucked hard on his tongue, my arms struggling to get free so I could run my hands through his hair, dig my nails into his shoulders and back.
With a growl, X raised his head. His eyes were burning, his gaze searching for something on my face. When he drove into me this time, it was harder than before, and I cried out. I understood it then. He was watching me to see what I wanted.
“Again.” I meant for the word to come out as a demand, but it was a plea instead.
One, apparently, that he was more than willing to fulfill. There was no hesitation on the next stroke, only the wonderful sensation of being suddenly and completely full. I raised my hips to meet him thrust for thrust, forcing him as deep as he could go. His grip on my wrists was almost too much, and I had a feeling I'd end up with bruises tomorrow, but I didn't care. This was what I wanted from him. What I needed. The edge that I'd been craving.
Neither of us said a word as we pushed ourselves toward the edge. The room was full of harsh breathing, skin against skin, my own whimpers and moans, but no words. We didn't say each other's names or make declarations that we knew we couldn't keep. I didn't know what this was between us or what it would mean, but I didn't want any of that to get in the way of what was happening. I'd worry about the rest later. Right now, all that mattered was the man above me.
Tension was coiling tight in my body, and I knew I was close. It'd take only a little bit to push me over. I could feel his muscles tensing, feel him fighting his body to put off the inevitable. I understood the feeling. I didn't want this to end. As much as I wanted to come, I wanted us to be able to stay like this more.
He pressed his face against the crook of my neck, his body pressing down against mine as his thrusts became more erratic. The cotton of his t-shirt rubbed against my already sensitive nipples and the change of position made him press on my clit at just the right angle. Then his teeth were pulling at the skin at the base of my throat, worrying and sucking until I knew he'd left a mark.
Pleasure washed over me as I came again. I clenched down on his cock and felt him groan more than I heard it. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding him to me as he came. His entire body shuddered and he finally released my hands. I didn't try to touch any of the scarred skin within my reach, but I did put my arms around him, the pinpricks of rushing blood making me shiver. My fingers were almost numb, but I didn't care. I just held him tight and prayed that he'd found some solace in me.
Chapter Eight
Nori
I didn't remember falling asleep other than the fleeting thought that I should probably go back to my own bed. But I'd been so comfortable, my muscles limp and relaxed, my pussy throbbing pleasantly. And X's arms around me.
One of the things I'd always loved about my relationship with Tanner had been how safe he'd made me feel. Even before Logan died, my parents hadn't been the most protective. My brother was the person who'd taken care of me. Then I'd had only myself to rely on until I'd met Tanner. While X and he were two totally different people, I did feel that similarity. The feeling that nothing bad could happen to me while I was with him.
I slept solid through, not waking until I felt X moving. Even then, I let consciousness come slowly. A part of me already knew that waking up would mean having to face what I'd done. X and I would need to talk about it, about what it meant, if it changed things between us.
I didn't want to have that talk.
X had been hurting last night, but there'd been no taking advantage. It had been comfort...and maybe something more. I just didn't know if the something more was what X wanted. I still had some conflicting emotions about how appropriate my feelings were, but I wasn't denying their existence anymore. I couldn't. They were too strong. Too much right in front of me.
Now came the fear that X didn't feel the same way. After he kissed me that first time, he said he'd only done it because it'd been a long time since he was with anyone. I'd been convenient.
Had last night been the same thing? Had he needed the distraction from the pain of his loss and I was in the right place at the right time? I didn't want to believe that X would do something like that, especially since he'd seemed so upset about a simple kiss before. Would he have really used me that way? Then again, if he didn't know how I felt, would it have really been using me? For all I knew, he'd assumed I was upset about what happened with Tanner and we'd been equally eager to forget about a bad night.
I supposed that was the best way things could turn out, with me hiding how I really felt and just going along with whatever excuse X gave. I didn't really want to do that – I wanted him to feel the same way, wanted this to be the beginning of something more than what we had – but I'd accept it if I had to.