Though based on the way X threw it over his shoulder without a second glance told me that he was less interested in the panties and more in what was under them.
Then he was parting my legs and stretching out on the bed. His fingers dug into my hips as he held me in place. I didn't have time to question why he was holding me so tight because his mouth was on me and I knew the answer.
I cried out, grabbing the sheets as X's tongue moved over and in me. He knew all the right places to touch, the right pressure to apply. He didn't hold back, and he wasn't teasing like Tanner sometimes had. His hair tickled the inside of my thighs, adding to the sensation racing along my nerves. I writhed and squirmed, torn between wanting him to stop and wanting more friction. Something harder, deeper, something to fill and complete me.
I swore as he pushed two fingers inside me. It was almost too much all at once. And then he was curling his fingers, pressing against my g-spot until my orgasm burst over me hard and fast. He rubbed that spot until he coaxed a second climax from me, and I was a quivering mess.
When I finally managed to open my eyes again, X was on his knees, a condom in his hand as he looked down at me. He'd left his shirt on, but his pants and underwear had, at some point, joined my clothes on the floor. I didn't comment on why he hadn't taken off his shirt. I knew why. He trusted me in some sense, but he still didn't want to let me see or touch him like this.
As much as I wanted to reassure him, wanted to see all of him, I didn't press the issue. What was happening between us was fragile, and I knew that the wrong word or move could spoil it.
Instead, I focused on the parts of him I could see. The tight muscles in his thighs. His narrow hips. And his cock, thick and full. I'd seen him soft before, the most recent of which hadn't even been in the hospital. Whenever I thought of his naked body – and it was far more often than I was comfortable with – it'd been of him walking out of the bathroom the day I first arrived.
He was attractive then, of course, but nothing compared to the way he looked now. It wasn't because his wounds had healed more, or because I'd become used to his scars. It was the confidence he exuded. The knowledge I could see on his face, him knowing that I wanted him.
Our eyes locked as he rolled the condom over his erection. Part of me wanted to watch, but I couldn't look away from his gaze. Neither one of us spoke as he leaned over me, propping himself up on one arm while using his other hand to position himself. I couldn't stop the slight exhalation when I felt the tip of him brush against me. Something flared in his eyes at the sound, and then he was pushing into me.
He didn't move fast, or pause and let me get used to him, to how different he felt inside me. Instead, he was relentless, moving forward inch by inch until he was finally all the way in. He stayed there, the small, slight movements of his hips sending little ripples of pleasure through me.
I ran my hands up his chest and around to the back of his neck. “Can I take off your shirt?” I whispered the question, the need to see him, touch him, almost overwhelming.
He shook his head. He made a short, shallow thrust and I gasped.
Damn, that felt good.
“I've already seen you,” I remind him. My hands run down his back and start to slip under his shirt.
“No.”
The word was sharp and I yanked my hands back, sure I'd just ruined everything.
“You touch where and when I say you can touch.” He held himself up with one arm and grabbed my wrists with his other hand. His fingers almost wrapped completely around both wrists as he pulled my arms up above my head.
A shiver ran through me as he pinned my hands to the bed. I knew he was strong, but there was a huge difference between knowing it and experiencing it. Just like there was a difference between knowing X would make a great Dom, and experiencing it firsthand.
“Okay,” I breathed the agreement. Anything as long as he didn't leave. My entire body was pulsing with need. The orgasms I'd already had hadn't sated me, only whetted my appetite. I wanted him completely.
Then he began to move, pulling almost all the way out before driving himself back in. Each thrust made me whimper as he hit that place deep inside me, sending sparks of pain and pleasure racing through me.
Tanner had once asked me to describe what it felt like, and the closest I'd ever been able to get was to say it felt like grabbing one of those electric fences that farmers use for livestock. Like my entire body was a conduit for the sort of electricity that could only happen when two bodies came together. No matter how quickly I could make myself come alone, it was never the same as it was with a man inside me.
X leaned harder on my wrists for balance as he ran his other hand up my side to cup my breast. His thumb teased my nipple into a hard point and I arched up into him. I felt the restraint in his touch, felt how much he was holding back.