“I realized tonight what I'd already thought when he and I broke up before,” she continued. “I'm not in love with Tanner anymore, and I haven't been for a while.”
I carefully set the vodka bottle on the floor and straightened again. I felt like the moment had become fragile, like one wrong move could shatter everything.
“X, I–”
I didn't think, didn't take the time to consider the wisdom of my actions. I just knew that she was here and not with Tanner. That she was here and I needed her.
I leaned down and took her mouth the way I'd always wanted to. Harsh, demanding, needy. I poured every ounce of my frustration and grief into the kiss. Every bit of longing and desire.
And, to my shock, after just a moment, she kissed me back.
Chapter Seven
Nori
When I was with Tanner, I thought we'd had plenty of passionate moments, but I never realized that while we'd enjoyed vigorous, energetic sex, it hadn't been passionate. In fact, I'd never known what the word passion meant until the moment X kissed me. I felt it all. His pain. His desire. The sheer need.
Then his arms were around me, pulling me against his body. This was the moment, I knew, where I had to decide whether or not to pull away, or give in to what I was feeling.
I allowed myself a moment to think, even as my arms were wrapping around X's neck. I wanted to comfort him, but if I allowed this to happen between us, I needed to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons. I wanted to take care of him, but not because I felt sorry for him. I wanted to take care of him because I'd done what I knew I wasn't supposed to do.
I'd fallen for him.
I didn't tell him that, not in words, because I didn't know the words to say. Plus, I didn't think he wanted to have the sort of conversation that kind of confession would prompt.
So I showed him.
I parted my lips and his arms tightened around me in response. I drew his tongue into my mouth even as I ran my fingers through his hair. I wanted to touch him all over, explore every inch of his body, but I held back. I knew where I wanted this to go, and I wasn't really worried about taking advantage of him, but I would follow his lead. I wanted him, but I also wanted him to take what he needed from me.
He took my bottom lip between his teeth and a jolt of desire went straight through me. The pressure was sharp, just this side of painful, and I wanted more. I moaned, scraping my nails across his scalp. He made a sound that was almost a growl, then dropped his hands to cup my ass. When he started to pick me up, I hesitated for only a moment before working with him and wrapping my legs around his waist. I had to trust that he knew himself well enough to know that he could lift me.
I wasn't surprised to find myself, less than a minute later, in X's bedroom. He'd kept what I assumed was military neatness. No clutter on the floor, or anywhere else for that matter. His bed was made, sheets barely wrinkled at all. The entire thing was done in warm colors, though I suspected that was more of Father O'Toole's doing than X's choice.
His hands slid up my back, one settling at the base of my spine, the other moving up to the zipper at the back of my dress. There was no hesitation as he pulled it down, then traced his fingers down my spine.
I shivered, the heat from his touch coursing through me. My hands slid around to his chest and I began to seriously second-guess my decision to only follow his lead.
I really wanted him naked.
Like now.
Then he was pushing my dress off my shoulders and second-guessing changed to completely changing my mind. I yanked on the hem of his shirt, but he pulled back and grabbed my wrists.
“No.”
His eyes were dark, the expression on his face making things low inside me twist and pulse. Even as much as I knew Tanner had loved me and been aroused by me, I'd never had anyone look at me that way before.
“I want you,” he said, his voice low, but definitely not soft. No, it was rough. The sort of rough that rubs in all the right places.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Instead, I reached behind me and unhooked my bra. X's fingers curled into fists as I dropped the black lace onto the floor. Some men preferred skinny girls with small breasts. I was neither skinny nor small, but judging by the way X was staring at me, he apparently wasn't one of them.
“On the bed.”
I did as I was told, settling myself in the middle of the large mattress. He watched me with that intense stare of his, the one that made me want to squirm or tell him off. Maybe both.
Despite his injuries, X still exuded grace and strength. As he walked over to the bed, I saw something new. Well, not new exactly, but something I'd only seen in bits or in potential.
Power.
My pulse began to race as X leaned over me and hooked his fingers under the waistband of my panties. When I dressed for tonight, I hadn't expected to have anyone see what I'd put on under the dress, but, at least, the black lace matching set was one of the nicer pairs I owned.