Alpha Male Romance(86)

I should've backed off then, made sure that I kept things platonic until I'd decided what I truly wanted. Because I still had no idea. But, it was too easy to keep my hand in his. Too easy to remember how good it was with him, how his touch had felt on my body. The warmth of his skin, how he'd known just the right ways to turn me on. How he'd been able to coax every last drop of tension from me with an explosion of pure pleasure.

How could I be sure he couldn't still make me feel the same way.

“It's still early,” he said as the waiter came to take the check.

He hadn't let me pay for my part of the meal but had played the gentleman card again. It wasn’t until he reminded me that he used to pay for everyone the times we'd gone on group or double dates in the past that I'd reluctantly agreed.

“What do you think about topping things off with a drink?” he asked.

I considered saying no, because that would've been the smart thing to do. But then I looked at the time and realized that I didn't want to go back to the house yet. I wasn't entirely sure what I'd say to X if I ran into him tonight. I told myself that I wanted us to be friends, but I doubted that friendship extended to sharing date details. I knew if the situation had been reversed, I wouldn't have wanted to hear it from him.

“I'm guessing you don't want to get the house wine,” I said with a smile.

He winked at me. “You know me so well.”

And I did. There was something to be said for predictability. Maybe it wasn't actually being predictable though. Wasn't knowing that I could count on him more about reliability than anything else? And having a reliable person in my life was a good thing. After my brother's death, my parents had proven time and again that I couldn't rely on them. Tanner had never let me down.

Hell, we'd hardly even fought. Four years and barely a squabble.

“Not to insult the choice of alcohol here,” he said. “But I'm pretty sure I can have room service set up some champagne and strawberries before we get to the hotel.”

That right there should've been my excuse to bow out. I wasn't an idiot. Tanner might've said he'd give me time, but that hadn't meant he'd agreed to stop trying. And I knew what it'd mean if I agreed to go back to his hotel room. Not that he'd ever pressure me to sleep with him, but I knew that he'd take my acceptance as a step toward us getting back together.

I gave him a look that was only half-serious. “And this wouldn't happen to be part of a plan to get me in bed, would it?”

“Why?” he asked, his eyes dancing. “Would it work?”

I rolled my eyes as I stood. I didn't want to have sex with him, but champagne and strawberries did sound really good.

“Okay,” I agreed. “But we're not going to do anything.”

He held up his hands in the universal sign of surrender. “Not a thing.”



* * *



The champagne was excellent. Of course. Tanner might not be the kind of man who threw money around to brag, but he did like quality. The strawberries were equally as good, and the combination of alcohol and familiarity helped me relax.

“You know,” Tanner said as he settled more comfortably next to me on the loveseat. “I think this is what I've missed the most.”

I looked up at him as I took another sip of my champagne. “Taking me to a hotel and plying me with alcohol?”

He chuckled and I waited for the familiar shiver to go through me. Except it didn't.

“Talking to you. Sitting with you.” He stretched his arm behind me. “Even when we'd go for a week or two without seeing each other, I always knew this was in my future.”

I missed that too, I realized. Missed this. Being able to count on someone to unload on, or even just sit with and not have to worry about what I was going to say or going to do. I could just be myself with Tanner. I didn't have to constantly second-guess everything I did or said, didn't have to worry about coming across as inappropriate or cold. I wasn't a nurse or a caretaker here. I wasn't a daughter, and I didn't have to be responsible for anything or anyone.

I was just me.

“I know you said you needed time,” Tanner said. “And I'll respect that.” He ran his finger down my cheek, hooking my chin as he turned my face toward him. “But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss you right now.”

He waited for a beat, and I knew he was giving me a chance to stop him. When I didn't, he bent his head and kissed me. It was easier than it should've been to lean into him, let my lips move with his. I closed my eyes and slid my arms around his neck. His hands moved down my back to settle at my waist. His fingers flexed against me and I felt the same power and strength I always felt with him. There was no sense of him working to hold back though. It was as if he kept himself under such control that it was less about keeping himself reined in, and more about the fact that he'd have to let himself go. Not that he ever had.