Or pretend not to still want her so badly that it hurt.
I wasn't strong enough to do that.
Chapter Two
Nori
My head was spinning.
Actually, that was an understatement. My mind was beyond spinning. Tanner was here, and he wanted us to get back together. It didn't make any sense. We both decided that the two of us just weren't in love anymore. We'd ended things as friends.
“So...that was the soldier.”
I bristled, even though there was nothing mean or condescending about the tone. That was just what Tanner knew about X. Soldier.
Well, that and the fact that I was teaching him about being a Dom.
I just wasn't sure if Tanner had figured out that I was having less than platonic thoughts about...the soldier.
“Yes,” I said. “That was X.”
Tanner's bright green eyes watched me closely. I'd almost forgotten how much he saw, especially when it came to me.
“He didn't seem that pleased to see me.”
I shrugged and pulled my nutmeg brown hair back into a ponytail, mostly because I wanted something to do with my hands. “X isn't exactly the most social person.”
“Are you sure that's why?”
I jerked my gaze back to Tanner. “What other reason would there be?”
“You both just seemed a bit...preoccupied when I got here.”
The thing was, he wasn't wrong. Well, not exactly. I didn't know anything about what was going on in X's mind, but my own had been so focused on the conversation he and I were having when Tanner arrived, that I'd been completely thrown. Hell, I was still freaking out about it.
Just before the doorbell rang, I'd been so sure that X was leading up to tell me something important. We'd been talking about me moving back to Texas after he no longer needed me, and I was pretty sure I hadn't imagined that he didn't want me to go. It might've just been wishful thinking on my part, but I had a gut feeling that it wasn't.
But the moment was gone. If it'd really ever been there in the first place.
“You just caught us in the middle of a discussion.” I gestured toward the couch. “Have a seat.”
“A discussion?” Tanner asked as he sat down. “What were you talking about?”
I gave a dismissive wave as I sat on the other end of the couch. “Just discussing his prognosis and how we're going to proceed.”
“How's he doing?”
The great thing about Tanner is that I knew he was legitimately asking. He might have come here to talk about us, and I was pretty sure he didn't like the idea of me teaching X how to be a Dom, but Tanner had the utmost respect for the military, and he was an all-around good guy. He knew what X's recovery meant to me.
Well, not entirely, but enough for him to truly be interested in X's condition.
“Much better,” I answered honestly. “We were specifically talking about how, in a couple weeks, he won't need any medical assistance.”
“And that means, technically, he won't need you anymore.”
Tanner's voice was gentle, but the words still hurt. I didn't want to think about X not needing me. Because I was pretty sure I needed him, no matter how much I hated the idea.
“We were talking about whether or not I planned to stay on as a general caretaker, try to find a job in Philadelphia or go back to Texas.” I sighed. “Or, I suppose, it doesn't really have to be either there or here. If I really wanted to find another job, I could look anywhere.”
“Do you not want to come back to Texas?” Tanner leaned forward slightly, an earnest expression on his handsome face.
“Honestly, Tanner, I don't know.” I shook my head. I had to admit, it was nice to be able to say what I was thinking. “I can't lie and say that the familiarity wouldn't be nice, but I can't say that it hasn't been nice being somewhere new either.”
“How much of that is your parents?” he asked.
“A lot,” I confessed, struggling not to twist my fingers together. “I haven't really talked to them except to let them know I got here safely. They're both still pretty upset that I moved.”
“You needed to get away from them.” He started to reach toward me, then dropped his hand, as if he wasn't sure that was appropriate at the moment. “We both know they needed a wake-up call about how they were treating you.”
I nodded. “I'm just not sure it'll have been enough time if I go back in a few weeks. That seems more like an extended vacation, and I'm worried things will go right back to the way they were.”
There was a moment of silence and I knew we were heading toward the real reason he was here. He really did care about my family and work, but that was all because he cared about me.
“I think we made a mistake when we broke up.” Now that it was time to talk about it, he got right to the point. “I've missed you.”