Silence fell for several seconds and I wondered if I pushed too far. It was a risk, I knew, but he had to see the submission part of things to truly understand what it meant to be in control.
“Roll over.” His voice was rough, but there was no malice in his tone.
I rolled onto my stomach and folded my arms under my head, resting my forehead on them. My entire body was coiled in anticipation.
He started with my feet, lightly running the edge of the yardstick along the bottoms, causing me to squirm.
“Ticklish?”
I nodded, biting my bottom lip to keep from laughing.
He kept at it, tracing patterns on the soles until I couldn't keep it in any longer. I kicked my leg out and he grabbed my ankle.
“Stop!” I laughed as he held my foot down and kept teasing me. I felt him hesitate at the word, but he didn't stop.
He was getting the hang of it.
He released my ankle and started to make his way up my legs. I twitched when he got to the back of my knees, but he didn't pause there. Instead, he continued until he reached the top of my thigh. I'd said before that we wouldn’t be touching anywhere that was covered by underwear, but that was one of the reasons I'd brought down the yard stick. It was a technicality, but one I'd overlook if he was brave enough to try.
“Did you buy this?” he asked suddenly. “The yardstick, I mean.”
I nodded.
“Why?”
“For tonight.”
“Why a yard stick?” he asked. “I get not wanting to have sex toys lying around the house, but why this?”
I swallowed hard but gave him the truth. Part of it anyway. “I've used one before.” I couldn't tell him that when I bought it, I imagined what it would be like to have him use it in the same creative ways Tanner had.
“With Tanner.” It wasn't a question.
I nodded.
Then gasped as the wood came down on my ass. It wasn't really hard enough to hurt, but it caught me off guard. He did it again and I squeezed my eyes closed. Fuck. I'd forgotten how much that stung.
And how good it felt when the heat spread across my skin.
He brought it down two more times, and the last one made me yelp.
Immediately, X was kneeling down next to me. His hand slid across my back, fingers brushing against the top of my panties as if he wanted to run his hand over the places he'd just struck.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”
I raised my head, pushing myself up on my elbows. “Did I say my safe word?”
He shook his head.
“Then you weren't doing anything I wasn't allowing to happen.” I rolled onto my side, my pulse skipping when X's hand moved with me, sliding around to my side. “When it comes to pain, I'm about in the middle. Some Subs prefer humiliation. Some are more into bondage. It all depends on the person. But you have to be comfortable giving them what they need if it's going to work. If you don't think you could whip or spank someone until they're bruised, then you'll want to stay away from the Subs who need that.”
He stood, shaking his head. “I don't see how hurting someone you're supposed to care about is a good thing.”
I stood, shivering as fabric moved across now-sensitized skin. I looked up at X and tried not to read into what he'd said about caring. “That's not what's happening.”
He raised an eyebrow, and I saw he didn't believe me. “Okay, let me put it this way. Do you like it when a woman scratches your back?”
He looked startled. “What?”
I held up my hand and curled my nails toward him. I didn't touch him though. With the things I was about to say, that wouldn't be smart. “When you're with someone, and she runs her nails down your back, digs them in, it hurts, doesn't it? But do you like it?” My eyes darted to his mouth, then back to his eyes. “Or if she bites your lip?”
The air between us thickened, and I knew I was treading a dangerous line.
“Biting, scratching. They can cause pain, but when they're done right, they can make things more intense.” I dropped my hand. “Some people are just wired to enjoy it. And that's the point. A Dom wants to enjoy himself, get off, but his or her primary concern is to bring the Sub pleasure. Sometimes it can seem like the Dom is using the Sub, or even being cruel. But it's about meeting the Sub's needs as well as the Dom's. A true Dom / Sub relationship is where both partners understand and fulfill what the other needs.”
He held my gaze for a few moments after I fell silent, and then he took a step back. He nodded. “I get it.” He turned away and walked back over to the window. “I think we're good for tonight.”
His tone wasn't harsh, but I knew I'd been dismissed. I grabbed my robe from the floor and pulled it on as I left, trying not to feel like I'd just been rejected.