That meant he wouldn't need me. Sure, he'd probably still have a ways to go before his stamina was back to where it was, so taking care of the house wouldn't be easy, but if he wanted me to leave, I wouldn't be able to give a good reason why I should stay.
I wondered if that was some sort of sign, some higher power telling me that my time here was still limited and that I shouldn't let myself get too involved.
“What's the verdict?” Kipp asked as I tossed the last bandage into the trash.
“Couple more weeks,” I said. I glanced at X, but he wasn't looking at me. “As long as you take it easy.”
X gave me a nod to acknowledge that he'd heard me, and then he was heading for the door, I assumed to take a shower before I put the new bandages on.
“He's different,” Kipp said.
I looked over at the therapist to find his expression uncharacteristically serious. “What do you mean?”
“I'm not quite sure, but he's working harder, and it's not because he's angry. I mean, yeah, he's pissed off still, and I don't blame him, but he's not like he was even just last week. Something's changed.”
I didn't respond. How could I when I was pretty sure I knew what had prompted the change. It was what I'd wanted, the entire point behind my idea. Knowing that it was working made me even more determined to see things through tonight.
* * *
I didn't bother with a dress this time since I already knew that I'd be stripping down to my underwear. My robe worked just as well. Underneath, I wore another set of plain cotton panties and matching bra. These were dark blue, but not even close to fancy or sexy, even though I did love the way the color looked against my skin.
I pushed those thoughts back. I had to focus. As long as we stuck to the rules, things would be fine.
He was waiting in the living room again and turned from the window when I walked in. If he had any thoughts about me wearing a robe instead of a dress, he didn't voice them.
“Tonight is going to be about your partner,” I said. “It's a little different than in a regular sexual encounter. Then, no and stop mean exactly that. Pain and embarrassment aren't negotiable. For a Dom and Sub, however, those things aren't exactly true. Safe words are the only things that really mean no and stop, and unless you and your partner are purposefully pushing those limits, you should be able to read her well enough to restrain yourself before it gets to that point.”
“Your safe word is ruby, right?”
I nodded. “That's good that you remembered. That's another reason why having a safe word is such a good thing. Regular words sometimes get lost in the heat of the moment, but when a Sub says something completely out of context, it tends to get more attention.”
“What happens if a Sub forgets her safe word?” he asked.
The fact that he was asking these sorts of questions was good. He was thinking things through, considering scenarios.
“It happens,” I said. “But usually only with new Subs. I'd recommend steering clear of them until you've done this for a while.”
I ignored the twinge of jealousy at the thought of him being experienced enough to take on a new Sub. To train a woman the way Tanner had trained me...
Shit.
I forced myself to focus again.
“Part of this is knowing what you want. Before, we dealt with limits when it came to you, how you wanted to be touched, permissions, and all that. But you also have to know what you want from your Sub in regards to her body. Knowing that determines how restrained you have to be, how fast you can go with a partner.”
“What do you mean?”
I untied my robe and shrugged out of it, leaving it on the floor. The tension in the air shifted, and I couldn't look at X as I walked over to the couch.
“How rough you like it might not be how rough a Sub likes it. Just because someone's into this lifestyle doesn't necessarily mean he or she is into pain.” I stretched out on the couch and kept my eyes on the ceiling as I folded my hands on my stomach. “You need to know what sort of things turn you on. Pinching, sucking, hair pulling.” I felt my entire body heating up. “Do you want to hold her tight? Tie her up? Use toys on her? Spank her?”
I couldn't believe I'd managed to say any of this without completely giving away how much the idea of him doing any of those things to me turned me on.
“How...” He stopped and cleared his throat. “How am I supposed to figure any of that out?”
“You're going to practice,” I said. “Earlier today, I brought down a yardstick. It's leaning against the wall over there.” I gestured. “You're going to use that to touch me.”
I ignored the fluttering in my belly.
“What you want to do with it will tell you a great deal about the sort of things you like,” I said. “So you're going to practice on me. Unless I use my safe word, you're okay. The lesson here is two-fold. What you want, and how to tell the difference between a good sort of pain, and when someone really wants you to stop.”