“Get some rest,” I said, pleased to hear my voice sound completely normal. “You'll need your strength for your trip.” I started toward the door, then paused in the doorway. I didn't look at him as I added, “Take care of yourself, X.”
“Bye, Nori.”
The words were so quiet that I almost missed them. I didn't turn around or even acknowledge that I'd heard. I preferred to keep that farewell rather than risk him closing himself off again if I tried to prolong a conversation.
I barely registered the elevator ride back down to the lobby or even the walk to my car. Even the heat from outside did little to attract my attention. I was glad X was doing well enough to be released, and I was thankful he had someone like Father O'Toole to help him. But I knew I would miss him.
That wasn't what was bothering me though. For the first few days after Ivar left, I'd missed his easy-going personality, his smile, but he eventually faded away into the hundreds of other patients I'd attended over the years.
I didn't think that would happen with X though, and that worried me. I'd invested far too much in him, in his recovery. Going into nursing, I'd known that my past might cause me to get too close to my patients, to see in them a way to fix things that were already broken. Until now, I'd always managed to keep those two parts of my life separate. Something about X had changed things.
As I climbed into the driver's seat of my car, I winced as the hot leather scorched the backs of my legs. I'd forgotten to remote turn it on while I was on my way out so that the air conditioning would cool it down. Even as I started the car, my phone rang and I cursed as I dug in my purse for it. I swore again when I saw my mom's name on the caller ID, but I answered it.
“Hey, Mom.” I closed my eyes as the air in the car began to cool. My head was starting to throb. “Everything okay?”
“No.”
She sounded more agitated than upset.
“What's wrong?”
“Your father.”
Of course. Mom didn't really love being a waitress, but she rarely complained about her job. She didn't really have any friends. She'd pushed them all away years ago. That left me and Dad. Even though the two of them had been divorced for years, he was still the center of her life. I'd tried telling her once that she'd divorced him because being with him hadn't been healthy anymore, which meant still being a part of his life wasn't exactly healthy either.
She hadn't given me a response.
“Is he okay?” I wasn't even really worried when I asked. I was sadly used to this sort of conversation.
“I went by the bar this morning on my way to work.”
Of course she had. I didn't bother to point out that the bar Dad liked to go to on the occasions he didn't feel like drinking at home was nowhere near her new place or the restaurant where she worked.
“His car was still there.”
I rested my forehead on the steering wheel. I knew how this would go. I'd remind her that he could've left it there last night and taken a cab home which was actually responsible of him. She'd say that it didn't matter, that he drank too much. I'd say I knew that, but there wasn't anything we could do because he was an adult. She'd say that we should try to help him. I'd remind her that we already had tried, dozens of times and that they'd both made their decisions. She'd guilt me into promising to talk to him since I was a nurse and knew all that medical stuff. I'd promise, and then have to plan another awkward discussion with my father where I came off sounding like the parent. What neither of them would do was ask me if I was okay.
The cyclical nature of all of this had gotten old years ago, and I really didn't feel like going around in another circle right now.
But I wouldn't interrupt her or cut things short simply because I knew where they would end. This was just how my life went and I was trapped in it. Something needed to change, and soon, but I didn't know how.
Chapter Three
Nori
I closed my eyes as Tanner's hands cupped my breasts, trying to focus on the sensations his touch caused, focus on the smell of his soap, of him. He wasn't talking, but that wasn't entirely out of the ordinary. Unless he was giving orders, he didn't talk much during sex. And at the moment, we weren't in Dom / Sub scenario. We were just having sex.
Sex in any form with Tanner was great, and tonight was no except. After the shitty morning I'd had, I needed this.
I moaned as he used the tip of his tongue to circle my nipple, then flicked the tip. His fingers flexed, tightening almost painfully even as his lips covered my nipple. He sucked – hard – and I cried out, my back arching. It wasn't too much, nor was the scrape of his teeth against the sensitive flesh.
His hand moved between my legs, fingers stroking, caressing, until I was writhing beneath him, making all sorts of sounds until everything culminated in a breathy wail as I came. He twisted his fingers, rubbing his knuckles against that spot inside me, rolling one orgasm into a second.