I rode it even as Tanner rode me. I was aware he was there, of course, could feel every inch of his thick cock stretching me. I could feel his hands on me, feel all of the things he'd done. But a part of me was still alone as I let go. I trusted him, knew he'd never take things too far. He was safe.
I wrapped myself up in that thought even as I came again. I sagged against the bed, making some sort of sound when my sensitive nipples came in contact with the sheets. Then Tanner was coming too, and I felt him go inside me. Again, familiar and safe.
He slumped over me for a minute, pressing his lips to the back of my neck, my shoulder. Then he was up, pulling out, and working on releasing me. I didn't try to help or move. I knew he'd take care of all of it.
He was familiar and safe. He understood me. Knew what I needed and always got me there. He was constant and reliable, things that most people usually didn't associate with the S&M world, but he was those things. I could always count on him. And I loved him.
But...
I didn't let the thought process go through to a conclusion, but I couldn't help feeling that there was something missing, that there was still some part of me he couldn't quite reach.
I didn't know if he felt the same way, but I didn't want to ask. Didn't want to risk losing what I had. Didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't make him feel like he wasn't enough simply because something in me was broken or defective or whatever.
So I said nothing as he cleaned me up and put me under the covers. I said nothing as he climbed in behind me and wrapped his arms around me, letting me take my time coming down, giving me – always – what I needed.
Chapter Eight
Xavier
I managed to run myself exhausted and elected to spend another day in the hotel instead of going back to the base. Zed and I usually checked in with each other while we were on leave, sort of a buddy system kind of thing. He was still with Nance's roommate and based on the short text I got back in response, they weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
I didn't go anywhere either. I just laid in bed and watched television. There were plenty of good movies I hadn't seen.
Well, there were movies in general. I wasn't sure if I'd call them good or not.
I spent all of Sunday night tossing and turning until I finally got fed up. I dressed and headed back out. I wandered around the city as the sun came up and wondered what the hell I was going to do. Most soldiers liked to use their leave to either visit family or get wasted and fuck.
I'd already gotten laid, and I probably could've found another willing partner or two...for a moment, the thought distracted me. I mean, there were very few red-blooded men who could say that the idea of a threesome with two gorgeous women wasn't distracting, at least for a couple minutes.
I passed by a tequila bar, but I didn't think spending the day hammered was the best way to go. I'd heard some of the guys planning to go to one of the amusement parks, but I'd never been a big fan of crowds, and I considered my job more than enough when it came to adrenaline.
Then I heard something else. Music. And not just any music. Jazz music. Good jazz.
I stopped and hefted my bag higher onto my shoulder. It wasn't that I didn't have access to music in the barracks, but it had been a long time since I'd been able to hear it live. Most of the guys I spent time with were like Zed and liked rock, or they were like the good old boy who'd been talking to me a couple days ago and leaned toward the country side of things. I liked both well enough, more than some other genres, more than silence, but I'd always been partial to jazz.
And there was just something about hearing it live.
I headed for the sound. I didn't have anything else to do today and getting to listen to music seemed like a good way to spend my time.
* * *
I had to admit, there was something to be said for relaxing while listening to sounds that moved your soul. I'd enjoyed the drinks I'd had the other night, and I'd definitely enjoyed the sex, but this was absolutely the highlight of my leave so far.
I found myself walking again, walking and thinking about the piano, the trumpet, the way all of the instruments had come together to form that smooth, melodious sound I loved. I played the notes over in my head, trying to commit them all to memory as I walked down the sidewalk. I was only vaguely aware of where I was, registering everything on that subconscious level that all soldiers and people in similar jobs had. Scanning for threats, watching out for any potential problems.
Then something registered.
The thin, acrid scent of smoke.
I blinked, looking around even as my instincts kicked in. Something wasn't right. I could feel it, sense it.
I heard a scream a few seconds before I found the smoke spiraling into the sky. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying, but I didn't need to. I knew that something bad was going on, and I did the only thing I could.