I didn't blame her there. Dad pretty much only bought the cheapest stuff he could find. He didn't care about quality, just that he was clean, and I was pretty sure that was only because he'd get in trouble at work if he went in smelling like a distillery.
I packed up what she'd asked for and then checked my list again. I was almost done, but I was starting to wish that I had more to do. I didn't want to go back, but it was better than the alternative – staying here and having to think about what I'd given up. At some point, I knew I'd have to go there, but I didn't want it to be now.
Suddenly, I realized that someone was knocking on the door. I sighed as I headed for the living room. I really hoped it wasn't the neighbor across the hall. Candace Wilder was the nosiest person I'd ever met, and the most obnoxious. Every time I happened to see her, she'd start asking me way too many personal questions, usually about my love life. And considering the noise we'd made last night...
That was definitely the last thing I wanted to talk about right now.
Except when I opened the door, it wasn't Candace Wilder on the other side. In fact, it wasn't any of my mother's neighbors.
It was X.
I stared, not quite believing that it was him. Why was he here? What did he want? For a few wild seconds, I almost hoped that he'd come back for me, but then I remembered that he'd left his bag here when we left this morning, and all that hope came crashing down. He just wanted his things.
“Come in,” I said dully.
I walked over to the couch, then realized where I was standing and flushed. I’d have to find some way to convince my mom to get rid of it and get a new one. I'd never be able to sit on it again without thinking about X and what we'd done.
“Your bag's where you left it.” I folded my arms and tried not to look at him.
“Nori,” he said softly.
I still didn't look at him. “No need to make a big deal about it, X.” I waited to hear him walk away, hear him get his things and leave.
Except he didn't.
Instead, I saw him out of the corner of my eye moving toward me. Then I could feel him, not just the heat of his body but that sense of hyper awareness I had with him.
“Look at me.”
His tone wasn't rough, but there wasn't any gentleness in his words either. They were a command, no doubt about it, and the Sub inside me had already started obeying before I'd thought it through. Then my eyes met his, and I couldn't look away.
“I went to the warehouse,” he said.
My eyes widened. He'd gone back there? To the place where he'd been hurt so badly? I knew he had nightmares about it, that he suffered from post-traumatic stress. Sometimes, people had to face the thing that scared them, that hurt them.
“I tried going to the base first, but then I realized that wasn't where I wanted to be.”
“And you wanted to be at the warehouse?” I was confused. I didn't understand why he was telling me this.
“No.” He shook his head. “That's what I realized at the warehouse. I didn't want to be there, or anywhere else that wasn't where you were.”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to believe him so badly, wanted to believe that it could mean we could be together, but there was just too much in the way.
“I know you said you had to stay here to take care of your parents, that you didn't know when, or if, you'd ever go back to Philadelphia.”
I nodded. All of that was true.
Even if I didn't want it to be.
Then he did the last thing in the world I thought he'd do. In fact, if he'd started doing a tap dance, I wouldn't have been less shocked.
Okay, maybe a little.
He went down on one knee.
X was down on one fucking knee in the middle of my mother's living room.
What the hell was he doing?
“I don't care if you're going to be in Philadelphia, San Antonio, or the fucking moon.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small, square box.
Oh shit.
“I want to be with you, Nori, no matter where you are. I don't care where I live, as long as you're mine.”
I couldn't breathe or think or do anything I was supposed to be doing. This couldn't be happening.
Could it?
“I know our relationship has been...strange,” he continued. “Not a typical sort of thing.”
He could say that again.
“But I can say now what I've been too afraid to say.” His expression was serious. “I love you, Nori, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
I was dreaming, right? There wasn't any way this could really be happening. X couldn't be proposing to me after I'd basically told him that we couldn't be together. It didn't make any sense. Whenever we'd gotten close, he'd pushed me away, said something hurtful.
Except...earlier today, he hadn't done that. He'd accepted my decision.