“Hey.” He smiled at me as he came over, and there was something different about it. Not softer, but rather stronger.
Whatever epiphany he'd had, it changed something inside him. I just didn't know what that meant for us.
“Go back to sleep.” He leaned down, his fingers tucking some wayward hair behind my ear. “I'll be right over there.” He gestured toward a chair.
“No.” I shook my head. I was vaguely aware that I was still a bit loopy, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. “Come here.”
I patted the couch. It was a big one, far too big for this tiny apartment, but my mom said she'd wanted it in case I needed a place to crash. I knew it was actually because she wanted to make sure Dad had a place to sleep if he needed it.
“I don't think that's a good idea,” X said. He didn't move though.
“Did you know what you were doing?” I asked. “That night?”
His expression tightened, but he nodded.
“Then don't you think I do too?” I reached toward him, ready for him to push my hand away. He didn't, letting my fingers skim across his cheek.
“Nori.” He caught my hand and brought it to his mouth, brushing his lips across my knuckles. “You need to get some sleep.”
“I need you.” I squeezed his hand. “Just lay here with me.”
He nodded, and I waited for him to head back to the bathroom to change. He didn't though. He simply eased me up and maneuvered us around so that he was lying behind me.
In only a towel.
I shivered, and then his arm went around me and a deeper shiver went through me.
“Go to sleep, Nori.” He kissed my temple. “I'll be right here. Whatever you need.”
I ran my fingers up his arm. “What changed your mind?”
“Hmm?” He raked his fingers through my hair.
Distracting.
“You came in here all explain-y.”
He chuckled at my word choice. At least, I assumed that's what he was laughing at.
“But then you were going to go, and leave me alone. Now you're here. What changed?” I was hovering now, that place between sleeping and being awake. Even though I knew I needed sleep, I liked this place. I could say things I would normally hold back. Plus, no case of hangover the next morning like there was with alcohol.
He was quiet for a minute, but his body was still relaxed against my back, so I knew he was thinking.
“I just realized that I needed to stop thinking about me, and start thinking about you.”
I turned my head so I could look up at him. His face was so close that I could see every shade of blue in his eyes. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said with another one of those new smiles. “That I finally understood what you were trying to teach me about being a Dom. That I'm supposed to take care of my Sub.”
I swallowed hard, feeling quite a bit more awake now. I really wanted him to mean what he said.
“I want you, Nori,” he said. His hand came up, thumb stroking across my bottom lip. “But not just for sex. I want you to be mine.”
Shit. It was hard to breathe.
“I'm not asking you to make any decisions now. I just don't want to hide anything from you. Not after what happened the last time I wasn't being honest.”
I was pretty sure I was staring, but I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “What the hell happened to you?”
His gaze moved along my face, like he was trying to memorize it. “I realized how close I came to losing you completely. I've never been so scared of anything in my life.”
I rolled onto my back, which wasn't easy, even on the larger couch. “Scared?”
“Terrified.” He cupped the side of my face. “I've spent my whole life thinking that I don't deserve to be happy, and I've never tried to fight that. Until now. I want us to be together. For real.”
I wanted that too, wanted it so bad it hurt, but...
His expression sobered, the light in his eyes dimming. “It's okay. I'm not asking for anything right now. We both have a lot going on and–”
“I want that too,” I said quickly. I reached up, hesitating with my hand over his cheek.
“But?”
I dropped my hand and answered honestly, “I don't know if I can trust you.”
I waited for the explosion, waited for him to start getting defensive with me.
“I understand,” he said.
I blinked. Was he serious?
“And I'm going to do everything in my power to earn that trust back.” He reached down and picked up my hand. “I meant what I said, Nori. Whatever you need.”
And then he put my hand over his heart.
Over the scar tissue over his heart.
Chapter Seven
Xavier
My heart was beating so hard against my chest that I knew Nori could feel it against her palm. Part of it was the intense desire I'd been feeling from the moment I laid down on the couch with her, knowing that only my towel and her robe separated the two of us, but I'd have been lying if I didn't admit that an equal amount of it was anxiety.