“Maybe,” I said. I didn't want to get my hopes up, not when everything else had been going so horrible recently. For right now, all I wanted was to eat as much of my mom's home-cooking as I could, go stretch out on the couch, and go to sleep.
I'd worry about the rest of it tomorrow.
As usual, Tanner seemed to sense what I was thinking, what I needed, and he didn't say anything else. We moved around the kitchen in silence, piling foods on our plates, getting wine from the fridge. Mom didn't do beer or hard liquor, but she did like a glass or two of wine with dinner or before bed. I didn't want to get drunk, but relaxing was definitely a good idea. I knew all too well that a busy brain would keep me awake, no matter how tired I was.
We went over to the couch instead of the table and settled there. I considered turning on the television, but nonsense had been playing in the background in my parents' room and in the waiting rooms pretty much all day, and I didn't feel like hearing any more of it. Most people thought of hospitals as places of peace and quiet for the residents, but it wasn't quiet at all. No, this was quiet. Only the gentle clinks of the silverware on our plates and that was it.
When Tanner finally broke the silence, it was to say something sensible.
“Music?”
Again, he knew exactly what I needed. I nodded. “Thank you.”
Mom didn't have a sophisticated sound system, but she did have the smartphone port I'd bought her for Christmas last year, so I handed over my phone, and Tanner plugged it in. A few seconds later, my favorite classical music began to play. Between that and the alcohol, some of my tension began to ease. Maybe I'd be able to get to sleep tonight after all.
“I'll take care of this,” Tanner said as he picked up our plates and carried them over to the sink.
“You don't have to do that.” Now that I was clean and fed – and a tiny bit buzzed – I was starting to feel guilty about how much Tanner was doing for me.
“I don't mind,” he said. “You've had a rough time. Sit back and relax.”
I considered protesting, but I was really comfortable, so I curled up and watched him. I'd always enjoyed watching him, but this time, there was nothing sexual about it. For four years, I'd thought he was the sexiest man I'd ever seen. Every move he made had turned me on. I hadn't been able to watch him without feeling that twist of arousal in my stomach.
Until now.
He was still handsome, and kind, and everything else I'd fallen in love with. But I felt nothing other than friendship for him. I was grateful he was here, so I didn't have to go through this alone, but I also felt no need to ask him to stay the night, or to offer any other comfort.
“Will you be okay here alone?” he asked as he dried the last plate and put it away.
I nodded. “Thank you for everything you did, Tanner. I couldn't have gotten through any of this without you.”
He gave me a soft smile. “Anytime you need anything, you can count on me, Nori. Doesn't matter what it is, or if it's been twenty years since we've talked. I'll always be here when you need me.”
He came over to the couch and kissed the top of my head.
“I'll keep you updated on how my parents are doing,” I promised as he straightened, but before he could respond, someone knocked at the door. I gave Tanner a puzzled look. “Did you tell anyone I was coming back?”
He shook his head. “Maybe someone at the hospital saw you or word got around.”
That was possible, I supposed, but I didn't know why any of them would be coming here. If anything had happened to my parents, they would've called me in. I stood.
“I can get it,” Tanner said. “I was on my way out.”
“I'm fine,” I said as I walked past him to the door. “You can be my back-up.”
He chuckled as I opened the door.
And froze.
“What are you doing here?”
Chapter Five
Xavier
Nori's question hung in the air between us, and I couldn't answer it because I was too busy staring at her. She was wearing a fluffy pink robe that was tight enough to highlight her curves and make me suspect that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. Her hair was wet and pulled back, but a few strands had escaped, framing her face.
“Is everything okay?”
A man's voice came from behind her, and I wasn't surprised to see Tanner step up.
My heart fell, and I cursed myself for allowing any sort of hope to take root. I should have known better. I'd fucked up so many times with her that I'd run out of chances. Even if I hadn't, I didn't deserve her forgiveness, much less anything else. I hadn't realized that a part of me was still holding on to the hope that Father O'Toole had given me until Tanner's presence broke it.