She turned on her heel and went back into her apartment, slamming the door behind her. Then she went into her bathroom, turned the water on full force, stripped off her clothes, and stepped into the shower.
She was so mad she could spit, so it was a good thing she was standing over a drain.
A little while later she was dressed again and pacing back and forth across her living room. The shower hadn’t calmed her down, and neither had stalking around her apartment like a caged tiger.
She texted Simone.
I need you. Code red. Where are you?
Her answer came in less than a minute.
Watching rehearsal. I’m sitting in the back of the house.
Half an hour later, her taxi pulled up in front of the theater. She could hear the rehearsal in progress from the lobby, so she went through the door as quietly as possible.
Simone was sitting in the back row watching the actors onstage. As soon as she saw Kate, she slipped out of her seat and came to meet her.
“Is this a bad time?” Kate whispered.
Simone shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’ve got an hour or so before they’ll need me. Do you want to grab a coffee?”
Kate nodded. She was just about to open the door, when a strong baritone voice called out from the middle of the house, stopping the action. She paused, watching as a tall male figure strode down the aisle and went up on the stage, talking to the actors.
It was Zach Hammond. Kate stared at the impossibly handsome man for a long moment, and then turned to Simone.
“He’s like a Greek god or something.”
Simone ran both hands through her short hair. There must have been some product in it, because when she was done it stood on end.
She looked like she’d been electrocuted. “I know. Let’s get out of here.”
Clearly Simone was dealing with some issues of her own, but Kate decided hers had priority. She started talking in the lobby and she didn’t stop until they’d gotten their drinks at Starbucks and sat down at an outside table.
When she was done, Simone nodded slowly. “Okay. Here are my thoughts.” She paused. “First, what a dick.”
Kate felt a fresh wave of anger. “I know.”
“Second, why the hell didn’t you tell me you guys slept together last week?”
Kate blinked. Then, to buy time, she took a sip of her latte. It was too hot, and she burned her tongue.
“I’m not sure,” she said after a moment. “I mean . . . there’s no particular reason.”
“You can do better than that.”
“Oh, all right.” She sighed. “I guess I was afraid you’d think . . .” Her voice trailed off.
Simone frowned. “You couldn’t have thought I’d judge you. You know my track record with guys.”
Kate shook her head. “I didn’t think that. I knew if I told you I’d had rebound sex with Ian, you’d be all for it. The problem was, it was more than that to me. I couldn’t separate the sex from the feelings I had when we were having sex.” She paused. “That’s kind of a confusing sentence, but you know what I mean. And that was the part I was afraid to tell you. I’d just broken up with Chris, and Ian obviously isn’t relationship material. I thought you’d say—”
“That you should stop being a hopeless romantic and just be happy you finally had great sex?”
She slumped down in her chair. “Yes.”
“It’s not too late to do that, you know. I mean, yes, Ian has proved himself to be a total asshole, but you can still be happy you had great sex. You’re no worse off than if you’d never seen him again after that night.”
“It’s not that simple. There’s Jacob, for one thing.”
“That’s a little tricky, sure. But that part’s not up to you. Ian’s his guardian; if he wants Jacob to spend time with you, he’ll have to make that happen within the boundaries you set.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Simone looked at her shrewdly. “But that’s not all you’re thinking about, is it?”
Kate covered her face with her hands. “I can’t look at you.”
“Are you kidding? Kate, this is me. You held my hair back while I puked in the parking lot sophomore year. We’ve seen each other at our best and our worst. You can tell me anything.”
Kate looked up. “I think . . . I still . . . have feelings for him.” She went on quickly. “Of course, I won’t act on them. I have too much self-respect to do that to myself. It’s just . . .”
“You can’t change the way you feel.”
She nodded.
The two of them sat in silence for a moment, drinking their coffee and watching the people walking past. That was one of the great things about living in New York: there was so much life happening around you at any given moment that it was easy to distract yourself from your own pathetic existence.