Almost Like Love(23)
“Look, Chris—”
“Let me finish. I’m just saying that modern man has to come to grips with the paradox of his body telling him one thing and his mind another. Right? So . . . I’ve come to grips with it.”
For the life of her, she couldn’t imagine where he was going with this.
“I don’t—”
“I want you, Kate.”
She blinked.
He was leaning forward now, his expression earnest. “I was a fool over Anastasia, but I learned something from the experience. I’ve learned that I can make a rational choice to overcome mere physical urges. My mind recognizes that you’re the mate I need. The woman I can build a successful, satisfying life with. Anastasia could never be a true partner or a dependable parent. Not like you. In the end, raw physical passion is only temporary. Respect and affection are what make a marriage last.” His eyes grew moist. “I want you back, Kate.”
Two days ago she would have given anything to hear those words. Now they left her cold.
She wasn’t sure exactly what had changed in the last forty-eight hours, but she knew that the relationship Chris was describing—the relationship he was willing to settle for—wasn’t what she wanted anymore.
And she wasn’t convinced it was what Chris wanted, either. What would happen if he met another woman like Anastasia—a woman who made him feel things Kate didn’t?
“Let me be sure I have this straight,” she said after a moment. “You fell for Anastasia because she was wild and adventurous—”
“Exactly. And the sex was like that, too.”
Her hands clenched into fists. “Believe me, I haven’t forgotten that point. But now you’ve decided the fact that I’m safe and predictable is actually a good thing, and you want us to get back together. Is that it?”
“Yes.”
“And it won’t be a problem that you don’t enjoy sex with me as much as you enjoyed sex with her?”
He hesitated, as though recognizing that he was heading towards a quagmire with this one.
“I don’t . . . That is . . . it’s not that I don’t enjoy sex with you, Kate. Of course I do. But it might not hurt to try some new things once in a while. You can be a little inhibited.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe you could write down all the things Anastasia does that I don’t do. Then you could do a point-by-point analysis.”
Not even Chris could miss the bitterness in her voice that time.
He winced. “Okay, I get it. I should have been more diplomatic. But I think we need to be completely honest with each other if we’re going to make things work between us.”
The sound of her cell phone ringing stopped her from saying a few completely honest things right then and there.
“Excuse me a minute,” she said to Chris, grabbing the phone from the coffee table and heading for the kitchen.
She didn’t recognize the number on the screen, but she was so glad for the chance to cool down that she didn’t care who was calling. Even a wrong number would be welcome.
“This is Kate Meredith.”
“Hi, Kate. It’s Ian.”
Of course it was.
She slumped back against the refrigerator. “Why are you calling me, Hart? I don’t have the time to deal with you right now. Believe it or not, you’re currently the least of my worries.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked sharply. “You sound . . . Are you okay?”
She opened her mouth to deliver a stinging reply. Instead she heard herself say, “Chris is here.”
“Chris? Who’s that?”
“My fiancé. Sorry—ex-fiancé.”
“Son of a bitch.” A short silence. “What does he want?”
She should just hang up on him. It was a toss-up between Ian and Chris as to whom she hated more right now, and she had no reason in the world to continue this conversation.
But for some unaccountable reason, she did. “He wants us to get back together.”
Another silence. “Is that what you want?”
“God, no.” She took a deep breath. “He told me I’d make a better life partner than Anastasia, because I’m safe and predictable. Although he does think I should step up my game sexually. Try some new things once in a while.” Her hand tightened on the phone. “Now that he has some basis for comparison.”
As she heard herself say the words, she felt a rush of helpless anger. Maybe she and Chris hadn’t set the sheets on fire, but he’d never told her he thought something was missing.
Instead of talking to her about it, he’d decided to sleep with another woman. And now that Anastasia was gone, he figured he might as well go back to Kate—especially if she could be more like Anastasia in bed.