“I didn’t fuck her,” he said. “Not even that morning.”
“Jesus.” I winced, covering my eyes. “I don’t remember in any way asking about that.”
“I wanted to,” he said. “But I didn’t.”
“Great,” I said, fighting anger. “Good for you.”
He studied my face, then rubbed his own with a hand. His accent grew stronger. “There is no reason to be embarrassed. Seers are naturally possessive...I gave you cause. I didn’t mean to.” Thinking, he reconsidered. “Well. Yes, I did.”
I stared at the floor as I sorted through his words. Finally, I shook my head.
“Yep. Still not asking, Revik.”
He stuffed the remains of the plant burrito he’d been eating into the backpack. He looked tired...and now, angry.
I shouldn’t care. Why did I care about this? Taking off my jacket, I bunched it up for a makeshift pillow, stuffing it under my head.
I felt him staring as I dragged half of the blanket over my body.#p#分页标题#e#
“Allie,” he said. “You cannot sleep.”
“I know.”
“Tomorrow,” he said. “Maybe.”
I sank my head into the jacket. I was angry, too. I couldn’t bring myself to shove it aside, even after I felt him notice, even when he continued to stare at me.
It didn’t help that at least half of my rage came from confusion, an almost cloying inability to understand him. Why had he told me that stuff about his childhood? Why the chess, for that matter? And why had he been so sure I’d want to know about him and Kat? What had he even meant by it, anyway? Did saying he hadn’t fucked her mean intercourse only? Because that left a pretty wide range of inbetweens that my imagination was more than happy to supply with images...especially since he hadn’t minded getting a dick massage and shoving his tongue down her throat right in front of me.
And why the hell did I care about this again?
I heard a snap and sigh of plastic and air, then the sound of him drinking. The backpack rustled, followed by his leather-covered shoulders meeting the cement wall. I closed my eyes, opening them when I remembered I couldn’t sleep.
“Can I please go outside?” I said.
He shook his head, clicking softly. “No.”
“Then talk. Tell me something.”
“What?”
“Anything,” I said. “Who was your real father?”
He sighed, moving so that the leather crinkled again. “My biological parents were killed by humans when I was very young. I do not remember them.”
I closed my eyes, cursing myself silently, then turned to look at him.
“Revik. I’m sorry—”
“I raised the subject,” he said. “It’s fine, Allie.”
I watched his face as his mind seemed to go somewhere else.
“Were you really a Nazi?” I said.
His eyes turned slowly in my direction.
“Yes,” he said. “...In the way you mean it. In the strictest sense...meaning politically...no.”
I wasn’t sure how to follow on that.
“So,” I said. “Did you leave after? When you—”
“I don’t want to talk about that.” Averting his eyes, he shrugged. “I don’t remember most of that time, anyway.”
“What do you mean, you don’t remember?”
He sighed, clicking his tongue. “It was a condition of my coming back. A portion of my memory was forfeit. I believe it was partly mechanical...I lost some simply by being separated from the network. Some was a bargain Vash made for my life. With the Rooks.” His eyes remained on his laced fingers. “I imagine I knew things. Things the Rooks needed me to forget.”
Realizing my mouth hung open, I closed it.
“Forfeit?” I said. “How much is gone?”
His eyes grew a touch colder. “I don’t know. I can guess, by piecing together dates with what I remember.” His face smoothed to neutral as he cleared his throat. “...It is very strange that you saw any of it. No one else ever has. Perhaps it has something to do with who you are.” He glanced at me, his eyes and voice casual.
“May I ask...how much did you see?”
Great. I’d just walked into another potential minefield. I tried to be reassuring.
“Not much. You and your wife—” He flinched visibly. “...I saw you in jail, and that guy, Terian. I also saw you in Russia, I think. Something about tanks being stuck in the mud. You seemed unhappy about the way the war was going...” I trailed, figuring that last part was safe at least. “You and some guy talked about who would lead that part of the front.”
His eyes grew calm as he rested his chin on his hands.
“How old are you?” I said, when he didn’t break the silence. “You and that guy Terian...you look exactly the same.”