Jon and Cass were alive. My best friends were alive. By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, that much had finally penetrated.
My smile as I entered the dining room even felt real.
I sat in the chair closest to the door without making eye contact with anyone other than Jon, who, seeing my smile, grinned back. I looked for Cass, found her sitting next to Revik in the opposite corner. He had an arm draped over the back of her chair, and she laughed as she told him something. He smiled, tugging the ends of her long hair. I stared at his hand where he touched her, saw more affection in his eyes as he looked at her than he’d ever aimed at me.
Then I heard Maygar’s mocking voice as we’d approached the building.
...prefers humans.
Revik’s eyes swiveled to mine. For the first time, he looked directly at me, and the look there was...christ. It was guilt.
I moved before my brain could process a complete thought.
“Allie.” Revik’s chair squealed on the hard wood. He stood almost as I did. “Allie.” He held out a hand, what looked like a peace gesture, or something you might do to calm an animal. “Allie...where are you going?”
Silence fell on the room. I swallowed, looking around at faces.
Maygar sat back in his chair, arms folded. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I flinched when I saw the pity in his eyes. Jon gave Revik a warning look I couldn’t interpret, and Cass just looked confused.
I couldn’t make myself look at Revik.
“I...” I cleared my throat. “Sorry.” I waved vaguely at the spread on the table. “Go on, eat. I’ll be right back.” I was lying. I knew I was lying, that I was running away, but I couldn’t do it, not even for Cass. I’d just walk away, I told myself. Pull my shit together. Then I’d come back. They’d obviously been through hell. I had no right to begrudge anyone anything that might have come of it, especially since I was—
“Allie!” Revik’s voice was sharp.
When everyone looked at him, he cleared his throat.
“Can it wait? We need you here. Maygar didn’t want to speak for you.”
I looked at Maygar, who nodded, indicating for me to sit. “We need a plan, Bridge. Your husband...” He said the word with open contempt, and I felt Revik’s eyes shift to him. “...Seems to believe they may have been followed. That they were allowed to escape in the hopes he would lead the Rooks to you.” Maygar looked to Jon. “Did I get that right?”#p#分页标题#e#
“Yeah.” Jon glanced between Maygar and Revik, wary. “Yeah. That’s right.”
I stood there, feeling trapped. I looked at Cass, saw that Revik had moved his chair several feet from hers. Feeling sick, I looked at Jon. His eyes openly asked me to stay. Noticing again how thin he was, I swallowed, nodding. I glanced at the scar on Cass’s face, saw her looking at me with worry in her eyes, and hated myself more. Gods, what was wrong with me?
“All right.” I lowered my weight to the chair. “Sure.”
I felt everyone around the table exhale.
Cass was the first to smile at me. “Maygar said you’ve been in India this whole time?”
I nodded. “Yeah. For the last few months, anyway. Learning. Training. You know...”
“Why are you here?” Revik said.
Before I could stop myself, I looked at him.
His face had fallen back into the infiltrator’s mask, his eyes focused on the table. He really was thin. Thinner than Cass or Jon, although all three of them looked like concentration camp victims. When Cass shoved a plate at me, I tugged it closer with my fingers, picking at a pile of what looked like fried potatoes with a fork.
“I was looking for clues,” I said. “Imprints, I guess.”
“Of what?” Revik said. He didn’t raise his eyes.
“I’ve been tracking Galaith...I got as far as you.”
Cass shoved a forkful of salad in her mouth. “What’s a Galaith?” she said.
“The head of the Rooks’ network,” Revik said. “Terian’s old boss.” His voice aimed back at me. “Why him?”
I shrugged, not answering. I felt him react to my silence, a near flinch.
“What about the bomb?” Jon said. “Was that you?”
I felt the illness worsen, realized Revik was actually scanning me with his light. “No,” I said. I glanced at Jon, forced a smile. “No bombs lately.”
There was another silence while everyone ate. I watched Revik cut up a piece of meat and stare at it. Jon and Cass ate like they were starving, like they might not eat again. I saw Cass nudge Revik to eat then, and looked away.
“Allie,” Revik said, still not looking at me. “What do you want with Galaith? You know he’d only be replaced, if—”