Averting my eyes, I clutched the back of the leather couch.
My hands actually shook. I gripped the couch harder, but it didn’t help. Cass caught my arm, her voice excited again.
“You won’t believe the crazy shit we’ve seen!” she said. “We were in Russia, Allie! In this town of slave traders in the mountains! Some guy tried to buy me! It was freakin’ psychotic. And Revik speaks Russian, so he basically told the guy—”
“Not now, Cass.” Jon patted my shoulder when I didn’t look up. Taking my hand, he rubbed my fingers with his. “You all right, little sis? Your brain’s not going to explode, is it?” Once my eyes flickered up, he smiled. “Surprised to see us?”
I nodded.
“Did you think we were dead?” he said.
I nodded again, feeling tears come to my eyes.
“And Revik?” Jon prompted. “You thought he was dead?”
Fighting the impulse to turn, to confirm what I’d seen standing in the hall, ignoring me, which should have been confirmation enough...I gave Jon another nod. I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, then sank to the leather couch. Cass and Jon sat on either side of me, each with an arm slung around my back. I don’t know how long I sat there, but eventually, I took a hand from each of them. I cleared my throat.
“We haven’t eaten,” I said. “Maygar’s probably—”
“Yeah.” Cass’s voice was quiet. “They’re talking right now...him and that other guy.”
“Oh.” I didn’t look towards the door.
“So I guess Terian wasn’t lying about you and Revik?” Jon smiled, punching my arm. “You’ve got a frickin’ husband, Al? How did that happen?”
“He really did save our lives,” Cass added. “He’s a nice guy, honestly...if a little scary at times.” Her voice grew tentative. “Is he still your husband though, Allie? He thinks you’re really mad at him. It sounded like he deserved it...but, well...I like him, Al. A lot.”
I stared at the pattern in the rug.
After a few seconds, I let out a short laugh. It sounded like a seal’s bark.
“I think she’s in shock, Cass,” Jon said.
“Well, where is he?” she said, sounding angry. “I thought he’d come in here at least. What’s he doing out there?”
“Hiding.” Jon laughed, poking me in the ribs with his fingers. “Turns out Rambo might be afraid of his wife. Are you going to talk to him, sis? Or let him stew out there?”
I raised my hands, using my fingers to comb the hair out of my face.
“Is there a bathroom?” I said.
I felt them look at each other.
Then Jon’s voice grew matter-of-fact. “Yeah. Sure.”
He stood me up, steering me gently towards the door of the study...then right past Revik and Maygar, both of whom I felt looking at me now. I followed Jon to the base of the staircase without returning their stares, and he pointed up.
“Bathrooms are bigger up there. You can even take a bath if you want...in fact, I highly recommend it. There’s clothes, too. Cass has bags of new stuff...second door down, I think. He took us shopping a few days ago, and man does that guy have an expense account.” Jon grinned when I glanced up, but the grin faded when he saw my face. “Al. Are you all right?”
I nodded. “Don’t wait for me. I won’t be long.”
He pulled me into his arms. I felt his heart, a warm flare in his chest.
“I’m so glad you’re all right, Al. I’ve been worried about you. For months. I was beginning to think...”
Tears stuck in my throat. “Me too.”
He let me go. After standing there awkwardly for a few more seconds, I turned and began to climb the stairs. When I glanced down from the half-floor landing, Jon still looked up at me, his eyes worried, his hands resting on his hips below too-thin arms decorated with tattoos. I noticed new scars, fading bruises, and looked away.
I need a bath, I thought. Then I would feel normal again.
Then I would be all right.
It took me longer than what I’d told Jon.
I didn’t know whose bedroom I was in, didn’t want to think about it too closely when I saw women’s shampoo on the rack alongside men’s.
Wrapped in a towel once I’d finished, I wandered into two different rooms before I found the bag Jon mentioned. I was over two inches taller than Cass by then, with a chest about two sizes smaller, but I finally settled on low-hung silk pants and a stretchy tee. After scrutinizing my reflection in the mirror for far too long, contemplating make up, then abandoning the idea, I tied my hair in a loose knot at the base of my neck and made myself go downstairs.