“But …” I looked at our friend again, hunched over, so pathetic, so lost. “He’s already suffered so much.” I heard the shrill sound of my own voice by the end of it, pleading. “We’re treating him like a prisoner! It’s not right. He hasn’t done anything wrong!”
“He almost killed you, Evangeline!” Caden exploded suddenly.
“He wouldn’t have and you know it!” I threw back, setting my jaw defiantly. “He was bluffing. He just wanted to be free.”
Caden turned away from me as he shook his head with frustration.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I said. “I know what you’re all thinking! Poor, naïve Evangeline! She’s clueless! She’s a silly human! Well, maybe I am but at least I don’t torture my friends!” I looked to Amelie and Caden, to Max, but got no support. Nothing. Only Julian dared meet my stare from his spot out of the line of fire.
It’s for the best, Max said.
“Of course you would think so,” I muttered.
“It’s just for now,” Sofie explained softly. “I’ll think of something else. I promise.”
“But …” I began but the objection died at my lips, all of my steam evaporating instantly. I knew no amount of begging and pleading would convince them otherwise. They were vampires. This was temporary for them. Anything temporary could be endured, even if it was excruciatingly painful. My body tensed as Mage reached forward to grip Bishop’s shoulders, securing him. Sofie’s lips moved swiftly.
The second the binding spell broke, Bishop let out a roar and began twisting and thrashing against Mage’s grip. “Don’t let them do this, Evie!” he bellowed, his plea shattering my heart into a thousand pieces. Tears began burning in my eyes as I pawed for Caden’s hand. “Please!” I cried but it was no use. Caden’s jaw tightened as he stared forward, his hand lifeless in mine.
“It’s the right thing to do and you know it,” he answered in that cold, distant tone I had heard so long ago, the one he used when he needed to shut everyone out. He was shutting me out. My head jolted as if he’d slapped me. He may as well have. By the time I turned back, Sofie was already securing the Merth around an immobile Bishop’s wrists. It was done.
“A thousand tiny razor blades cutting you, over and over again … each one feeling like the first,” I whispered a reminder to all of them in case they had forgotten.
Utter silence met my words. Six vampires, a werebeast, and two toxic humans watching the one who had suffered the most, who continued to suffer, for the mere fact that he couldn’t scream out. I felt like I was sitting in one of those glass rooms, witnessing an execution of an innocent person. But what was worse—what I couldn’t bring myself to admit—was that I knew they were right. This was for the best. This was only temporary. Bishop had survived Merth before. He could survive it again. What did that acceptance say about me? What human was I turning into that I’d listen to a dear friend plead for his freedom, that I’d stand and watch him tortured? My friend, whose internal struggle was enough to splinter an army’s will?
Suddenly, there was nowhere I wanted to be less than there, in this vampire world where this was an acceptable solution to a problem. Yanking my hand out of Caden’s, I bolted from the glass room and sprinted down the hallway. I didn’t stop. Caden didn’t chase. This time, just this once, I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want to be around these cold, calculating creatures. I didn’t want to become one of them.
Sharp claws tapped against the tile behind me. “Stay away from me, Max!” I screeched as tears burned my cheeks. The tapping slowed and then stopped altogether.
I kept running and no one followed me and I was happy. When I found myself in the hall overlooking the courtyard, the urge to venture outside slowed my feet. Coatless, bootless, gloveless—I opened the door and stepped into the frigid night without an ounce of hesitation. The crisp winter chill seized my bare skin, its icy fingers curling around my limbs. It was balmy compared to the mountain temperatures, but it froze my tears in seconds nonetheless. The mountains … in that moment, trudging through the deep snow in striped pink and gray socks and slippers, I pictured a possessed Valentina stomping in from the cold wearing nothing but a sweater. I was now the crazy one. I was worse! Leo wouldn’t approve of this, I thought, smiling sadly, thinking about my grandfatherly guardian. It had only been days since I’d seen him last, but it already felt like a lifetime ago.
I trudged through the snow, one step in front of the other in a straight march, feeling the snow’s damp chill as it formed an uncomfortable cushion in my slippers. Though my actions felt wayward, I knew exactly where I was headed.