All or Nothing at All(87)

Raven squeezed her hand back. "I'll set you up with Xavier any time. For now, you have us."

"Always," Morgan said.

They took her side even when they were mad. Between fighting her feelings for Tristan and the whirlwind wedding and losing her friends, the emotions roared up and strained against the wall she'd erected for protection. Her lower lip trembled. Morgan and Raven shared a look. "Uh-oh. She's gonna break. Let's get the others out of here," Raven instructed.

"Done," Morgan said.

In a matter of minutes, the other ladies left, and she found a shot glass of whiskey in front of her at the table. "Drink," Raven ordered. "It'll settle you."

With trembling hands, she tipped the glass back and finished it in one swallow. Raven lifted a brow. "Nice. You've been practicing."

Sydney choked out a half laugh. "I hate crying. I feel all weepy and emotional lately. I feel so damn . . . weak."

Raven dropped into the seat next to her. "Nah, not weak. It's just all that ugly mess of truth coming up to be dealt with. There's been a hell of a lot going on in your life this past month."

"Yeah." She struggled to find the words. "I know you're both mad. But thank you for sticking up for me tonight. It meant a lot."

Morgan blew out a breath and shook her head. Her smart bob swished across her shoulders. "You lied to us. You lied to Tristan. I needed some time to sort it out so I can talk to you without losing my temper. You know I can't have children. So when I heard you kept a child from her biological father, on purpose, it hit all my hot buttons."

Misery flooded her. Yes, she'd had her reasons, but her friends didn't know. She'd never told them the truth of her and Tristan's past relationship or the issues. To them, she'd done it with a cruel casualty and hurt the Pierce family. "I know. I kept the truth to myself for so many reasons, but I also know it may not be enough for you to understand. All I can do is explain my side of the story. I didn't keep Becca a secret to hurt anyone, especially Tristan. I was trying to protect them both."




 

 

"Tell us," Raven said simply.

So, Sydney did. She told them about their past and that disastrous night Tristan left. She told them about her first wedding, the end of her marriage, and the decision to raise Becca on her own. She poured out her heart and soul, refusing to hold back, until finally her voice trailed off into silence. Drained, she slumped in the chair, but her soul was light. These women had shared their own secrets over the past year, but she'd always held back. She saw now how clearly a friendship deserved true give-and-take. It took trust.

Raven gave a sigh. "I was running wild with my best friend, Izzy, at the age you got pregnant. There'd be no way in the world I could settle down and deal with a baby. I was too hurt from my father's death. Too broken. And I know for a fact Dalton, Cal, and Tristan were in no shape to build a solid future or be a parent then."

Morgan nodded. "Their family was ripped apart. Cal said all they did was fight. I can see how scared you'd be to tell him about the baby when he was desperate to leave."

"I did the best I could at the time," she said softly. "I honestly felt like I had no other choice when Tristan left. And when Becca was born, I knew I'd do anything to keep her safe and happy. I never had that feeling about anyone before."

"I don't know if I would've made the same decision, but I respect your choices," Morgan said. "And I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Me too," Raven said.

"Thanks, guys." The tears broke free and ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away with a laugh. "Ugh, I'm acting like such a girl."

"We forgive you. Take another shot." Raven refilled her shot glass. "It's the good stuff I keep tucked away for female emergencies."

"I won't be able to pass the Breathalyzer test." Raven administered her own DWI test at the bar to make sure everyone could drive safely after poker night, or she called a cab.

Morgan pushed the glass toward her. "I'll drive you home, sweetie. Drink up."

The next glass warmed her stomach and settled her nerves. Finally she was able to take a breath without sniffling. "Thanks."

"I think the big question is where you and Tristan are with all this. Do you still love him?" Morgan asked.

"Yes. I never stopped. Even though he's acting like an asshole lately," she added. Her mind steeped in the memories. "I think I loved that man the moment I met him at eight years old. Diane used to tell me to be patient. Even after everything that happened, I felt we had a shot at something brand-new, but then I told him about Becca and everything is different. I don't think he ever loved me the way I did him. Maybe it's time I try to live with it. Stop torturing myself."