I took the phone off hold and crowed, “Alright, Klaus, you heard your boss, get your ass back here right now.”
It was worth it just to see Lily’s eyes bug out.
It was doubly worth it to hear the outrage in Klaus’s voice.
“W-well, ABOUT that – what EXACTLY is it you need me for?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Klaus. You just get back over here pronto.”
“I don’t like your tone!”
“Yeah? Well I don’t like your attitude. Dave basically – oh, that’s right, that’s Mr. Westerholtz to you,” I said mockingly.
I was having the best Friday night in months.
Lily looked she was watching a movie, and she couldn’t decide if it was The Hangover or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I kept going. “Anyway, Dave basically said that when I say ‘Jump,’ you ask, ‘How high.’ And you’re not asking ‘how high’ yet, Klaus.”
“This is – this – Mr. Westerholtz wouldn’t – ” Klaus sputtered.
“Of course, if you want your assistant Lily to handle what I need, we could do that, too,” I said in as appeasing a tone as I could muster.
Now Lily looked like she was definitely watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
At the mention of his secretary’s name, Klaus went silent.
“…is Lily there?” he finally asked.
I could smell the fear through the phone.
I winked at Lily, who was white as a sheet. “She’s over by the elevators. You want me to go over and let you talk to her?”
“…yyyyyyes. Yes, why don’t you do that,” Klaus agreed in relief.
The dumbass thought he hadn’t just made a fool of himself in front of his secretary.
Too bad she already KNOWS you’re a fool, Klaus.
“Okay, hold on,” I agreed, then held up a finger to my lips as I grinned at Lily.
She nodded numbly, like she was now a guest star in the horror movie.
I counted out about how long it would take to walk over to the elevators, then said, “Here she is,” and handed the phone over.
“Lily?”
“Uh, hi, Kl – Mr. Zimmerman,” she said, catching herself.
She almost gave the game away.
Of course, I had, too, back with the ‘Connor Brooks’ moment.
Klaus was too dense to notice, though.
“Thanks for NOTHING, Lily!”
Seriously?
What a prick.
“Now this little – ”
“Still on speakerphone, Klaus,” I said loudly.
There was a pause as Klaus suddenly found his manners.
“…ah, situation is a bit more pressing than I originally thought. I need you to take the gentleman back to the office and show him whatever he needs.”
Lily looked astounded – as well she should have been.
“Uh… anything?”
So far, she was smarter than either Zimmerman or Westerholtz.
“Well, I don’t know about ‘anything’ – ”
“‘How high,’ Klaus,” I said. “I’m not hearing ‘how high’ yet.”
I had to clamp my teeth shut to keep from laughing.
Klaus surprised me the tiniest bit. “There are too many confidential files, too many sensitive – ”
But I was banking on him being a craven, lazy little twit… so I bet hard.
“We can call Dave again,” I offered. “Or… you can come in and get the files for me yourself.”
Aaaaaaand…
I won the bet.
He folded. Immediately.
“The CEO has instructed me to give Mr. Brooks whatever help he requires, Lily. So do whatever he asks.”
“Anything?” Lily asked, just to clarify – and she said it in a tone of disbelief.
Smart.
As fast as my opinion of Klaus and Westerholtz was dropping, my opinion of her was rising.
“…anything,” Klaus said, obviously just trying to get off the phone.
Lily looked unnerved, but still remained pleasant to the end. “Okay. Have a nice – ”
And then the prick ignored her and cut her off, all at the same time. “Is that all, Connor?”
You… fucking… douchebag.
“No, it’s not,” I growled. “That was very rude what you just did to Lily.”
Lily looked at me in shock, like No… oh no, no no no NO –
“W– what?” Klaus asked, equally astounded.
“Apologize to her,” I demanded.
“That’s really not necessary,” Lily squeaked.
Come on, Lily, don’t wuss out now.
“Yes – it IS,” I insisted. “Klaus?”
“This is ridiculous – I’m not – ”
“Are you always that rude to everyone, Klaus, or just to the people you can get away with it? Employees, waiters, people you can abuse your power over?”