Translation: Are you drinking?
“No, no,” she replied quickly. “Come, sit next to me.” She patted the space next to her.
Instead, Roman took a seat in the chair near her bed. He felt awkward and uncomfortable, and judging from the look on Giselle’s face, he wasn’t the only one.
They descended into silence.
“So, how are you and Maya doing?” she finally asked.
“Good.” Roman wished he’d brought along his phone so he’d have something to do with his hands. He settled for gripping the chair’s armrests, digging his fingers into the delicate brocade. “We have our anniversary Saturday.”
“That’s good.” Giselle smiled. “She’s a wonderful girl. I take it she’s forgiven you for the hospital prank?”
Roman cracked a smile. “You could say that.” More like she’d gotten him back good, so they were even. “You did a good job the other day. With the prank,” he said spontaneously, feeling a bit more generous for some reason.
Her eyes lit up. “Really?”
He nodded, shifting uncomfortably, but Giselle looked like she was about to burst into tears of joy.
“I figured it was the least I could do,” she said quietly, her eyes swimming.
He really hoped she wasn’t going to cry. He did not deal well with crying people.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed so she was facing him head-on, her diamonds blindingly bright even in the soft lighting. “I know we haven’t…talked much lately,” she ventured hesitatingly, like she was afraid he was going to up and leave if she so much as uttered a wrong word. “But…I really missed you.”
Roman’s knuckles turned white. “Yeah, well, I would’ve thought it’d be pretty hard to miss someone when you’re drugged up or boozed up all the time,” he said flatly, flashing back to the string of missed birthdays, ruined holidays, and cancelled family vacations over the years.
Giselle’s face was now the color of his knuckles. “I know.” Her lower lip trembled. “I know I haven’t been a good mother, or much of a mother at all, but I’m trying to change, I really am. It’s—it’s going to take some work, and I can’t promise I’ll be perfect. I’ve just depended on alcohol and pills so much that I can’t…” She took a deep breath. “But since your…accident… I just realized how much I wanted to be better. For both of us.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “You’re so grown-up now, and I haven’t been there for any of it…and you’ll be off to college in the fall—“
Roman’s own throat felt tight. After so many years, he’d thought he was immune to anything his parents could say or do, but hearing her speak brought back a flood of earlier dreams and wishes, ones where he belonged to a normal, loving family who ate dinner together every night and talked about their days, where his mother would take care of him when he was sick and his father would take him camping and teach him about sports and girls.
Even though he hadn’t had any of that, Roman thought he’d done pretty well for himself. His friends became his family, but deep down there had always been something missing. No matter how great Carlo and Parker and the Perrys were, he supposed nothing could quite replace maternal love.
At the same time, he wasn’t sure if he could believe her. It was certainly easy to say you wanted to change, but actually changing? That was a whole different ballgame. But the scary part was, Roman really, really wanted to believe her.
“Do you really think you can change?” He stared at her, trying to feel the way a normal son would when faced with a crying parent. He couldn’t quite do it. He hadn’t thought of her as his mother for a very, very long time, and it would take a while before he could do so again.
“I can try.” Giselle sounded earnest. “And I will try my hardest. But—“ Another deep breath. “—but I’m going to need the support of my son.”
The tightness in his throat intensified. Roman knew the ball was in his court. He could either accept what she was saying and try to mend things between them, or he could just leave, go back to his safe place, and save himself the hurt that would come if everything fell apart again.
“I--“ He stopped. Giselle looked like she was about to pass out. “I suppose.” He smiled weakly but it probably came out as more of a grimace. “We both need backup if we’re going to deal with my asshole of a father.” That came out without thinking, and Roman winced a bit, expecting her to berate him for using foul language or talking about his dad like that.