All I Ever Wanted(69)
And the need to run was overwhelming.
As soon as Arabella arrived at the beach house she started yanking clothes off hangers, tossing items into a suitcase, not really paying attention to what she packed. Her world was spinning way too fast. All she knew was that she desperately needed to get away, to think, to distance herself from Grady so she could look at her life clearly and make sound decisions. If he walked into the room, she knew she would fly into his arms and not be able to leave.
Arabella knew exactly where she needed to go. After locating her laptop and a few essential personal items, she hurried to the Mini Cooper and started driving north.
An hour into the journey, Grady called, but Arabella didn't pick up, worried that he'd convince her to turn around, and she needed to stay strong. He called again, and then a third time, making guilt weigh heavily upon her. She wasn't being fair to him and she knew it. With a cry of anguish, she pulled off at the next exit, turned into a gas station, and simply sat there, sobbing, questioning herself once again, wondering what the hell she was doing. This was Grady's night, and she'd been so wrong to leave. They should have been celebrating, and instead she sat there and cried.
///
Leaning back against the headrest, she inhaled deep breaths, trying to calm down, but she remained a hot mess. She couldn't begin to drive under these conditions, afraid as she was of being dangerous to others on the road. Surely there had to be a hotel nearby. Picking up her cell phone, she did a quick search and sighed with relief. "One mile down the road," she whispered, and then put the car in gear. "Thank God."
The standard hotel room seemed so cold and lonely after the warmth and beauty of the beach house. She rolled her suitcase into the corner and tossed her purse on the bed. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten in hours, but she wasn't about to get behind the wheel again. The vending machine and minibar would have to suffice.
Arabella unzipped her suitcase and nearly laughed at the random contents. Shorts and T-shirts weren't going to come in handy in November in Cincinnati, more proof that she wasn't thinking clearly. She sat down on the bed and cradled her throbbing head in her hands, feeling very alone and uncertain.
The ping of her phone had her swallowing hard. Reaching in her purse, she looked at the screen and read the text message from Grady: Where are you? I'm worried. Please call or at least text me that you are safe.
Arabella leaned against the stacked pillows and sighed. Hot tears slid down her cheeks and she swiped at the wetness, angry with herself for being such a damned coward. She looked up at the ceiling and mumbled, "What have I just done?" She cried harder, wondering how so much fluid could possibly come out of her eyes.
With shaking fingers, she sat up and typed: I'm so sorry. I just needed to get away from the chaos.
Her phone immediately pinged back. Where are you?
Arabella stared at the message, wondering if she should tell Grady she was headed to Granny York's house. If she let him know she was in this hotel an hour down the road, she knew he'd most likely follow her here, and part of her wanted him to. Before the night was over, she could be in his arms. But she needed to sort things out at her grandmother's house. Her house now. She needed to have the house wrapped around her, to soak up the memories, feel the peace of being in the small brick home that had always been her safe haven. For just a few days she wanted to shut herself off from the rest of the world and digest the recent life-changing decisions she'd made.
Her phone pinged again. " ‘Stop overthinking,' " she read out loud.
"Oh, wow, you know me so well." Arabella laughed weakly and then waited for the next message to come. After a minute or so she read: I know things got crazy at the end of the show. I can understand why you would be upset and angry. We didn't expect that kind of response. I wanted to be with you, not answering a million questions from the media.
Arabella shook her head and typed: I'm not angry.
Then come home.
I need a few days.
For what?
To let the events of the past few months sink in.
Arabella cringed when her cell phone rang. Taking a deep breath, she answered. "Hello, Grady."
"Thank you for picking up. I needed to hear your voice," he said gruffly.
"I'm sorry I left. But . . . I had to. At least, it felt that way at the time."
"I wish you were here, but I guess I understand at least a little why you bolted. What happened after the concert was flat-out insanity. We weren't expecting to be bombarded like that."