All I Ever Wanted(38)

Arabella shrugged. "I tried not to."

"I wanted you to be jealous. I hoped you'd see the pictures and-"

"Be hurt?" Arabella said.

"Hell, I don't know." Grady raised his hands skyward. "I guess I wanted to prove to you that after you left I could go on with my life. Get past you. But I fucking couldn't. Arabella, you thought I'd cheated on you with some random girl. That pretty much showed me what you thought of me and it hurt like hell. So yeah, I was trying to get you out of my system."

"Yeah, but all those pictures just hammered home that I was right. And seriously, what would you have thought if you walked into my room and there was a smiling, naked guy in my bed? And if I were wrapped in nothing but a damned towel! Grady, the look of horror on your face was practically screaming that you were guilty."

"I was horrified that she was there!" Grady paced across the room and then turned around. "Sure, I would have wigged out if I'd found a guy in your room. I'll give you that. But I also would have given you a chance to tell your side of the story. I would have listened. I wouldn't have run away and never looked back. And above all else, I would have believed you." He pointed an accusing finger at her. "And I would have kicked his ass."


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"Oh God . . . I was . . . I was . . ." Arabella began, but she couldn't reveal the truth. Not now, with the concert so close on the horizon. Maybe not ever. Arabella put her hands over her face, unable to look at him.

"Bella, you're right," he said in a softer tone. The use of her nickname made her want to fall into his arms, but she stood her ground. "It looked bad and, like you said, we were both so young, followed around by the paparazzi and put into situations that were difficult for us both. But when you didn't take my calls, I acted out by becoming what you thought I was. And a lot of it was still hype. Devin encouraged me because it played up the bad-boy image that the girls loved. He fed into it. Fueled the fire to keep the gossip going. You know that teenage romance between Oliver and Belinda Beal? Completely fake and orchestrated to boost her career. If Mom had still been in control none of that would have happened, but she had to stay in Sea Breeze instead of going on the world tour. A tour we didn't want to do, because we wanted to be with her, but she played her illness down and wanted us to get the chance to see the world, so we went ahead with it even though our hearts weren't really in it." Grady scrubbed a hand down his face. "I should have put an end to a lot of things back then. But at that point I really didn't give a shit. And Arabella, without you, Heartbeat lost a lot of the energy, the fun. Devin could feel us losing our steam, and so he turned to the media to keep the popularity alive. Damn, I missed you. Needed you."

"Oh wow," she whispered. His admission squeezed her heart.

"My brothers missed you too," Grady continued. "You were like a sister to them. And then Mom got worse. . . ." When his voiced cracked, Arabella rushed into his arms. "And we came home."

"Grady," she said against his chest. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid, but I-"

"Shhh, I know," Grady interrupted, nodding.

"I can't even imagine. Losing both of your amazing parents . . ."

"And you."

"I should have been there for you," she said, more to herself than to him.

"Yeah. I won't lie. I wish you had been."

Arabella closed her eyes, suddenly sad for the lost years. The pain that should have been put to rest. The secrets that should have been told.

And yet Grady wrapped his arms tightly around her. "When Oliver went behind my back and hired you, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't reveal to you that I never stopped loving you. Thinking about you. And holy shit, you ruined me for any other girl," he said with a weak chuckle. "No one even came close to what we shared." 

"It was the same for me," she said gruffly. "If that helps."

"You know something else? None of my brothers have ever really gotten serious with someone. I think the pain of losing Dad in the car crash and then Mom to lupus has made us afraid to love. Losing someone hurts like hell."

Arabella tilted her head up and nodded. "I know. My grandmother was my rock."

"So maybe we both need to stop being scared shitless and start over? Not waste any more time?"

Arabella felt a little shot of fear slide down her spine. "Grady, I've got a life in LA. A business that I've worked hard to make a success." Her pride wouldn't allow her to tell him she was so close to losing it that she had to consider bringing Maxine Morgan on board.