At the thought, I glanced over at Olivia for the billionth time. She was asleep and I longed to pull her across the seat into my arms. But I couldn't risk waking her. She looked so damned tired and frail. She'd lost weight. Her cheeks were hollow, her collarbone visible. Shadows painted the skin beneath her eyes a bruised shade of purple. She'd tried to hide the circles with concealer but I could see them. She was exhausted. Because of me.
"Where to?" Gabe spoke into the silence.
"My place." I answered without reservation. We were figuring this shit out. It was obvious that what we were trying to do…living without each other…was not working. We needed to reevaluate the standing of our relationship. And I was not allowing her out of my sight until we were standing on ground I deemed appropriate.
We rode the rest of the way in silence and when Gabe finally pulled up outside my penthouse building, I sighed relief. She was still asleep and I didn't plan on waking her up. I climbed out of the car and made my way to the passenger side where Olivia sat. I opened her door as Gabe watched me unbuckle her before lifting her into my arms. Her head rested against my chest as I kicked the door shut. I was almost at the door when Gabe called out to me.
"Mr. Rush," I paused and turned to face him. He nodded to Olivia. "Good luck. The best advice I can offer you is to listen to her. Hear the meaning behind her words, not just the words themselves."
I nodded. "Thanks, Gabe."
I didn't wait for a reply. I turned and walked into the door, Ray, the doorman held open for me. He frowned as his eyes fell on Olivia, but I didn't offer an explanation to his obvious silent question as I crossed the lobby to the elevator. I couldn't wait to get her where she belonged. In my bed. It's where she should have been all along. I never should have listened to her when she asked me to walk away from her without ever looking back. I thought I was doing what was best for her because she had looked just so damned terrified from me. Not to mention repulsed. I never thought for one minute she was this destroyed by my absence in her life. I never imagined I made such an impact on her life. But the fact that I had made me all the more determined not to allow her to try and push me away again. I refused, above all else to walk out of her life ever again. Since the day I seen her sitting in the back of the taxi, she had been mine. I knew it then. The first time I saw the shimmer of her brown eyes, the quirk of a smile on her lips. I knew she was mine. She belonged to me before either of us had even spoken a word to each other. She was fucking made for me. I was certain of it. I didn't let go of what was mine without a damned good fight. And I wasn't letting go of her. Never. Ever. Again.
The ride in the elevator felt like an eternity. But it was a heavenly, bittersweet eternity. Olivia was in my arms…but she wasn't in my bed. I needed her in my bed. I needed her asleep in my domain where I could protect her always…even from herself…and from me.
I unlocked my door and slid through before kicking it closed and locking it immediately. Without pausing, I strode across the floor to the stairs and quickly took them two at a time. Olivia hadn't even moaned in my arms. She was sleeping contentedly and I wanted to pound my chest hard in some primal need I could barely understand. She felt safe enough to sleep with me without one eye open. She felt at home in my arms…in my presence. The thought was liberating in a way I couldn't begin to explain. It was fantastic.
I walked into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. I thought about slipping her out of her dress but didn't want to risk waking her when I knew she was in desperate need of sleep. But I couldn't let her spend the night clothed in my bed. I couldn't. It was simply unacceptable. I reached into the nightstand and found the pair of scissors I kept before tugging on the tight fabric of her dress. I snipped through the thin fabric until she was bared to me. I cut the thin straps from her arms before lifting her and unclipping her bra. I slid it from her shoulders and fought the urge to kiss every inch of exposed skin. I'd missed her so much. My throat felt tight. I pulled the cut up dress from beneath her, tossing it on the floor before laying her back down on the bed. I thought once about leaving her panties on, but I couldn't do that either. She was mine. Completely and there should be no barriers. Ever. I quickly went to work pulling her panties from her hips, sliding them down her legs. When she was finally naked as she should be in my bed, I started working on my own clothing. I took off my shirt and pants before glancing at the drawstring pants I always wore to bed. I decided not to wear them. No barriers. Then I climbed in beside her and finally…I breathed.
I hadn't even realized that I had not breathed since I walked away from her seven weeks ago. Finally, I felt alive. I pulled the covers up, dimmed the lights and sighed. My heart jolted in my chest when she wriggled closer to me, curling into my chest as though it were the most natural thing in the world to her.