All Good Things Exposed(3)

"Seven weeks," I gasped. "It's been seven weeks."

"Shit, Liv." I felt her shake her head and I slammed my eyes shut tight as I leaned into the sink, trying to calm the raging pain. I never thought this was possible. I never once thought someone would have the power to destroy me in their absence. "I don't know how to help you, but you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry." I said numbly as I heaved myself from my crouch over the counter. "I'm trying to forget him."

"No you're not." She shook her head. "And even if you were, by some miracle trying to forget him, you won't. Because you can't."

"What?" I frowned.

"You can't just forget about someone you love." She smiled sadly and my heart solidified with the weight of a mountain, dropping through my body all the way to my foot. I was floored.

"I can't," My voice croaked and I closed my mouth, willing away my tears.

"Jeez, Liv." Trisha reached up for a mug and brought down two. "Let's have a coffee. We have a big day today and we're going to need energy."

I nodded because there was nothing else for me to do. Coffee had been a main staple for me these last seven weeks. I ate just barely enough to keep me going and that was it. It was all I could stomach. With the constant thought of Jace weighing down on the nerves in my stomach, the idea of adding food to the mixture made me want to run to the nearest washroom to empty the already sparse contents of my stomach. I had lost weight. Almost fifteen pounds. I hadn't had fifteen pounds to lose and I was now aware I looked sickly thin. But I didn't care. I wasn't trying to catch anyone's eye. I already lost the one man I cared about…the one man I was able to find a love in my heart for. No other would do. It was just as well that I be unattractive to those around me rather than having to constantly fend off prying eyes. I couldn't deal with that.

Trisha handed me my coffee and I took a sip of the bittersweet taste. It was energy in a cup and I reveled in it. I owed my measured sanity to coffee these last seven weeks. Even my trusted white hot chocolate had nothing on the caffeine.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Trisha asked, ruining the little pleasure I found in the moment.

"Nothing."

"Liv,"

"I'm not hungry, Trisha." I said flatly. I hoped she didn't press this. I didn't want to waste the energy. Today was a big day for me and I needed to save all the vigor I could.

"You're all bones, Liv." Trisha shivered. "Are you trying to kill yourself? Cause if you are I can give you a few less painful ways."

She was angry. I could hear it in her voice. But the thought of food made me physically ill and I didn't think I could eat just to appease her. "Please don't do this, Trisha." I said tiredly. "I'll eat lunch, all right?"

Her eyes narrowed. "You promise?"

The little shit would make me promise. "Promise."

"Fine." She pointed her finger threateningly. "But you will not get out of that promise later."

I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't have tried."

"Lair." She accused before nodding to the hall. "Go get dressed and we'll catch a ride to Liv Books Café together."

That was what I named my café bookstore. Liv Books Café. Actually, it was more Trisha who named it because I hadn't been able to get my mind into the game long enough to come up with a fitting name. But I liked it. It felt right. It felt good.

"I am dressed."

Trisha scowled. "No you aren't." She shook her head. "You're not wearing that on opening day."

I looked down at the brown pencil skirt and champagne shirt. What was wrong with this? "I'm not changing. I look fine."

"Yeah, you look fine." Trisha stated coolly. "But you should look extraordinary."

"It's a bookstore." I sighed, already feeling drained. Handling Trisha on top of not sleeping was becoming too much for me to bear. I would drop dead from exhaustion surely.

"It's an elegant café bookstore that you dreamt about since you were little. You're going to enjoy this day, Liv, even if I have to do something drastic."

I didn't know what she was talking about, but I didn't feel much like listening to her rambling either. I couldn't placate her with food, but I could at least change into something she thought was more fitting for the opening.

"Fine," I relented on a sigh. "I'll change."

***

Liv Books Café was beautiful and serene. It was everything I imagined it would be with tranquil green walls and elegant dark chocolate wood trim and crown molding. The floor was dark tile and the café was assembled with matching, curved wooden cupboards and stainless appliances. The dishes were all green to compliment the tranquility of the walls. It was beautiful. Calming.