That was it for me. Every ounce of will I had to hold back my tears crumbled. I was in a state of shock I feared I would never come back from. Caleb had known Jace was a...monster...and still, he allowed me to continue with my fabricated illusion of Jace being my prince charming? "You knew?"
"Fuck, Olivia." He ran a hand through his hair. "You don't understand."
I shook my head. "I can't do this."
With those words, I bolted to the elevator and beat the button hard. Caleb moved quickly to stand beside me. "You need to talk to Jace. You owe him that much."
My heart thrashed with the pain of loss, humiliation, and fear, I felt in that moment. "I don't owe him anything!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could. I was near certain the entire building heard me clearly.
Caleb flinched, but he was not ready to back down. Not yet. "How can you take her side in this?"
My hands fisted tightly. "There is no other side, Caleb. The girl lost her baby because of him. How can you not take her side?"
"You don't understand. You obviously don't have all the facts." Caleb said as the elevator rolled open. I stepped inside and he followed.
"Get out." I was shaking, completely robbed of all control. "Get out!" I screamed.
"Please, at least, let me drive you home."
"No." I shook my head. "Get out!"
Finally, Caleb nodded. He stepped from the elevator a moment before the doors started to close. While I rode to the ground floor, I cried.
***
Caleb's name lit up my phone. "Where the hell are you?"
"Lexie was just with Olivia."
"Where's Olivia?" My heart raced and my mind fogged.
"She left, Jace."
"Where?" I yelled.
"I don't know." Caleb sounded distraught.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Lexie told her about the baby." Caleb replied.
"And she didn't understand?" I asked. Well, fuck...of course she wouldn't understand. I'd been the cause of the death of a child. No one could understand that. But, I'd hoped she would.
"She thinks you're a monster, Jace." Caleb sounded pained.
"I am a monster, Caleb." My heart felt as though it was being torn from my chest. "But, with Olivia, I felt like a man. I felt worthy."
Caleb sighed. "Go to her. I'll use your home office to conference the investor. I will fix this. You fix your relationship with Olivia." There was a pause. "You need her."
***
I didn't think twice about pushing through the glass doors and running into the rain. The doorman called for me to stop, but I couldn't. I left everything at Jace's house. I didn't have a thing on my person. No money for a cab and no keys to the condo. I could only hope Trisha would be home when I finally made my way there.
Rain spilled from the sky above in a torrent of rivulets, stabbing my skin in their descent. Much like my tears. My throat burned and my skin felt like ice. The city was dark and dreary. It was sad. A black hole of a place...a perfect match for my heart.
What started out as an evening of bliss, spiraled out of control, and I knew there was no going back. Not from this. The man I loved with my entire heart was also a man who'd destroyed another girl's life. He'd killed a child...his child...their child. Although, I do not know the circumstances...I could only imagine. And, what I imagined was simply too much to bear.
However much I loved Jace, I couldn't imagine moving forward from this...whatever this was. I guessed I'd finally discovered the scenario with the capacity to make me run from Jace, rather than toward him.
Lexie's words branded my mind. Her twisted tidbits of information left a stale, bitter taste in my mouth. I felt ill. The vaulted past she'd unlocked tonight was not one I could fathom reliving with Jace. It was far too painful. It was far too distorted.
My bare feet ached from the bite of the cool pavement, but I continued running. I ignored the stares I received from curious, pity-filled eyes, as cars drove by. My white dress was now nearly translucent. It was heavy from soaking up the rain and as I ran, the hem slapped against the cold skin of my knees. But I didn't care. In a way, I reveled in the pain.
The pain was a distraction from what I knew could very well hold the capability to end me. The thought of Jace with another woman...inducing pain for sexual gratification...or pleasure...or whatever...it was too much.
My lungs burned as my steps faltered and I tripped, landing on all fours, but not before first scrapping my knee. It was in that moment, as I sat on the cement sidewalk, curling my knees into my chest, I truly feared I'd hit rock bottom. I set my cheek on my knee, not realizing...or maybe not caring, about the blood it oozed. And, I cried some more.