I quickly closed the distance between us to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. Her knees were pulled up to her chest now and her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as she peeked up at me through thick lashes. My heart felt as though it were going to be ripped from my chest in the most violent of ways.
"You have every right to question me, Olivia." I said sternly. Her eyes flashed with surprise and her lips formed an O, but she didn't speak. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know I would be late. I'm not used to having someone waiting for me."
I hoped that was enough of an explanation for her. I hoped she jumped into my arms and forgave me with kisses, but this was not a utopic world where the mistakes of a man were so easily overlooked. This was a place for judgment and, by the look in Olivia's eyes, it may as well be judgment day.
"I was worried about you, Jace." She skimmed her bottom lip with her teeth, making the pink skin burn red under the assault. "I was afraid something happened to you."
Why would she have jumped to that conclusion? Why would she think I was hurt? "Olivia," I breathed in. I was treading thin waters as it was. "I'm not used to having someone worry about me, either."
"Well, I did. I do worry about you." She stated loudly. Firmly.
I cocked my head, watching her reaction carefully. She was afraid. It was more than just worry. But what had happened to make her react this way? "Why were you worried about me, Olivia? What happened?"
Her eyes darkened and her shield banged down between us. "Nothing happened, Jace. But, anything could have happened."
There was something she was not telling me. I forced myself to hold back from the interrogation I wanted to force her through as I skimmed my knuckle over her cheek. "I am sorry, Angel. Can you forgive me?"
She smiled. "Only if you never do that to me again."
I didn't say anything as I leaned in to kiss her. Promises weren't my thing. I did not like making them when I felt confident I wouldn't be keeping them. There would be times when I shut Olivia out just like I shut everyone out, but I hoped her feelings for me were somewhat as intense as mine were for her. I knew I would do nearly anything for her, including forgive her for almost anything. I guessed that was love. It was ruthless. It made even the strongest, most defiant men, crumble.
Love makes men weak. That was what my father had always said. But I didn't believe that. Love holds the power to both build and destroy. I knew, if I played my cards right, I would build something great. But, if I played them wrong, all hell would, surely, break loose.
I pressed my lips to her forehead and pulled away. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was measured. "Take your clothes off, Olivia."
Her eyes opened. "But,"
"I want to feel your skin against mine while I sleep." I said. "Take them off."
She nodded, obligingly. She stood and worked the belt at her waist before undoing the buttons of her cardigan. When she finally slid out of her last article of clothing, I stood from the bed and pulled back the covers for her. She climbed between the sheets and I pushed my pants down, leaving my boxers on. I wanted her like usual. But, tonight I would do nothing more than hold her. I wanted to be someone she deserved. I wanted her to know how I felt about her without having to say the words. I was not nearly ready to say the words.
I climbed into the bed beside her and pulled her into my arms. Her naked backside pressed against me made me throb with a need that, for the first time in my life, I ignored. I tucked her head beneath my chin and closed my eyes.
"Goodnight, Jace."
"Goodnight, Angel." I replied. I reached up and flicked off the light. I fell into a troubled sleep with troubled dreams.
***
I woke before Jace. His breaths were hot against my shoulder. My dreams had been filled with both relief and fear. Jace was here and he was all right. No one had hurt him...yet. I needed to read the letter, but I didn't know how I was going to do that with him in the room with me. I didn't want him to see the letter or even know of their existence.
Holding my breath, I wiggled slowly from under his arm. When my feet hit the floor, I looked back at his sleeping form and sighed a breath of relief. I crept to the desk, pulled the unopened letter from the drawer and ran to the bathroom. I looked once more at Jace's sleeping form and closed the door, locking it quickly behind me. I moved to the toilet and sat down on the lid. I took in a deep breath and held it in my lungs. It burned and when I couldn't take another moment, I released it. I closed my eyes and tried to find the courage I needed to open the letter.
Finally, I tore at the sealed paper and pulled the neatly folded paper from the envelope.