I thought of the man I'd met in the hospital room. Confidence oozed from him by the gallon. If anything, the pressure of his responsibilities built him up rather than weighing him down. How, I would never know.
My eyes caught sight of another headline and my heart raced. It was dated two days ago. My fingers slid over the mouse-pad as though they were possessed. The article came to life on my screen, halting my heart. He was at an event, and like always, there was a beauty on his arm. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the photo of Jace with the red head at his side, but I had read enough of the article to know he was at a grand hotel opening. The hotel was his. It shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.
I felt sick to my stomach as I studied his picture. His beauty was magnificent; it was unearthly. His black hair was purposefully disheveled, giving him the 'just fucked' look. I hated myself when my stomach muscles clenched in desire just from looking at him. I wondered if Red ran her fingers through his hair earlier. My throat closed at the image I'd conjured in my mind. I knew I could read the article and probably locate her name, but Red suited me just fine. I didn't want to give her a name. I already hated her.
I powered off the laptop and sat back in my chair. I felt numb. Who was this jealous girl possessing my body? This was so unlike me. If I was being honest with myself, there was nothing about Jace that should appeal to me. He had money and fame and everything my parents had back home. He was the kind of guy my parents would pressure me to date and like the times before, I knew Jace would hurt me. I had never bothered to give my heart to anyone and, in my opinion, no one I'd ever spent any time with was ever good enough to be given such a precious gift.
I knew men like Jace. I had grown up with them. They didn't fascinate me or captivate me...so, why did he? I was stumped, but if I had to take a leap and guess, I would have to assume that it was his eyes. His blue eyes made me feel exposed down to my very soul. When he cast his gaze on me, my flesh came alive and my blood warmed. No one had ever made me feel so animated. That had to be the reason for my unexplainable infatuation. Nothing else made any sense.
Jace was all wrong for me. He was everything I ever warned myself against. It was men like him that kept me from pursuing any healthy relationships. I couldn't even allow myself a night of carefree fun with Trisha because of the things I had seen men with money and power do. My own father was no exception to the rule. I made a vow years ago, I would be nothing like my mother who was little more than a trophy wife to her cheating, overbearing husband. Men like Jace, and my father, were dangerous. They cared about nothing, and no one, but themselves. Image was everything to them. In the world they lived in, it had to be. But, I had been raised in that very same world and I knew, first-hand, what happened behind closed doors. I had no desire to immerse myself within that life. And I was proud to say, I was somewhat immune to the glitter and glamor.
I stood from the desk and wandered into the bathroom. I'd made up my mind. If Jace ever decided to come through with his promise and show up, unbidden, in my life, I would turn him down. Any perusal of him would be unhealthy, never mind dangerous to my sanity. It would be flat-out lethal.
It was best I nip this in the butt now, rather than falling to pieces as a result of my weakness later.
***
"I was thinking a serene green." I paused, looking around the blank canvas of the building I hoped to turn into my café bookstore. "And dark wood trim."
Trisha nodded exuberantly. I could see she was relieved to see me back at work. It was obvious by the glances she kept throwing me, she expected me to start moping over the fact that Jace still hadn't walked into my life clearing the wake of mysteries he'd left behind.
That was not going to happen.
"Yeah, I think green sounds nice." She plopped her hands on her hips and spun, eyeing the entire canvas that was mine to transform. The thought sent my blood pumping at a delicious pace through my veins.
"Good." I beamed. "I cannot wait to walk in here and smell the scent of fresh lattes and newly printed books."
Trisha shook her head. "You're the only person on the earth who shoves their nose in every book they pick up."
"They smell like peace." I defended myself adamantly.
"I didn't know peace had a smell."
I shot a smile at her as I walked to the back of the store. "There's a book in my purse. Take a whiff."
"Thanks. But, no thanks."
I shrugged. "Suit yourself."
"You know ereaders are becoming popular now, right?" Trisha asked cautiously. "People don't really need to buy books anymore."
I frowned. "There will always be people, like me, who adore both. There is nothing wrong with an ereader. They offer books you cannot get anywhere else."