None of your damn business.
She opted not to say something that spiteful, since it would have practically been a confession and she didn't want to give him the pleasure of admitting to anything.
"I changed," she said. "Normal people do that. My uniform was damaged in the attack, the Brions provided me with a new one. Mystery solved."
"I see," the major said. "Where did you leave your boyfriend, then?"
Paula slicked her tongue over her teeth, willing herself to calm.
"Captain Kerven is up on his ship, overseeing the upcoming mission. Why aren't you? Surely you have something better to do with your time than torture me with your company.
“You've been crying for some real action for weeks. I would have thought you were over the moon we're actually getting somewhere now."
The major took the time to glare at her, something he always seemed to have a spare moment for. With biting clarity, the captain's question returned to haunt Paula.
Why didn't she just leave? The Terran army, at least as much as she'd seen it, wasn't exactly her dream job or her dream team. Some of the men were nice, but as a surgeon she couldn't look at any of them for too long, wondering if she'd find them in pieces the next day.
The union wasn't much better. The mission to Jumel was the first one Paula had actually cared about. Usually they just dismissed her wishes and sent her to gods knew where to do some duty that a trained monkey could have done. Even on Jumel, the main council had left most of the authority to Burton, thinking she had more use patching up soldiers and counting the admittedly invaluable seeds.#p#分页标题#e#
If it weren't for the Eden seeds, Paula wouldn't have lasted two days in that hellhole. Not because she didn't have the guts, but because she didn't have a good stomach for stupidity, bureaucracy and needless death. Only the treasure at the end of the road kept her going, kept her trying to reach them. The aim to do good had to be worth something.
On the other hand, what was Kerven offering her? Another butcher's job. Brion healers were good at what they did. Paula saw no use for herself on the flagship.
No matter what happened between her and Kerven, it didn't make her time on Jumel any better. Apparently she'd riled the major up enough and his patience had snapped.
It was good, because so had hers.
"Miss Allen, don't test me," the man growled at her. "I am not nearly as stupid as you would like me to be. You get all these feminine fantasies about me being just a brute in charge, but I didn't get to my position by letting my boys die needlessly.
“I saw the looks that captain was giving you. It can only mean one thing and that's trouble. You are his gesha or whatever they call it. Go ahead, deny that. It’s gotten plenty of warriors killed before, and I can bet it will again."
Paula had had many angry words coming, but the major shut her up. She could smell the same argument coming that had already occurred to her and there was nothing to defend herself with.
"I can't," she said flatly. "I am what you say. The captain told me."
"Right," the major almost spat. "So now you return to the surface with new attire. Don't give me bullshit about changing for fashion senses. He fucked you and now he's coming down to fuck us all."
Paula whirled around before she could stop herself, her hand coming into contact with the major’s cheek with a heavy slapping sound. She wanted to do it for the second time, but this time Burton caught her hand, a snarl on his lips.
Her Brion guards stepped closer, the looks on their faces leaving no doubt they were ready to use violence if the major went further.
"It's fine," Paula called to them. "It's alright. It’s my fault."
She ripped her hand free, but the slowly blooming hatred between her and the major had finally reached a thundering crescendo. It was completely insane, mostly since Paula knew in her heart that they mostly agreed.
And it was her fault. He simply didn’t have any right to claim that it would be her fault if Kerven’s plan backfired, which he was currently doing.
"Whatever happens between me and the captain is private," she hissed at him. "Mind your own goddamn business, Major."
"Like hell it is," the major snapped. "I've met Brions before. I've gone to war with them. The second you are in danger, that man will turn on his heels and forsake my men to die. All over some girl.
“You of all people should be the most worried, if you are as noble as you preach. If he even thinks you might get that pretty face of yours hurt, he'll not only leave the soldiers... he'll leave the seeds too."
Paula gritted her teeth, because she knew the major was right. In his position, she might very well have done the same. Burton felt helpless, that's what it was. Brions were powerful and fierce, mighty allies to have. If they could be relied upon.
With her in the equation, they couldn't.
She caught her temper on a leash, reining it in as best she could. All around her, everywhere she looked, there were men she'd been treating for long weeks. Their lives stood upon the edge of a knife and she was the key to their survival or doom.
"You're right," she forced the words over her lips, ignoring the look of surprise on the major's face. "You're absolutely right. This is a problem. We both want it solved. Only there isn't much we can do about it, is there? You handle the tunnel and the men, as you're supposed to.
“I'll handle the captain and make sure he stands with us like he promised. Deal?"
Major Burton stared. Paula stared back, refusing to look away on that miserable day of all days. Then the man nodded, stomping away without so much as another word.
Paula was left with a bitter victory. Now she had the daunting task of controlling a Brion warrior. One she had just sent to hell for all intents and purposes.
And she’d brought it all on herself.
11
Kerven
Paula's call came as a surprise to Kerven.
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He'd expected to hear from her next time when he returned to the surface for the inspection of the tunnel. Instead, only a few hours had passed since she'd kicked him out of his own quarters and left with no hope of conciliation between them when the call came through.
The captain took his fighter down to the planet at once, finding his gesha waiting for him. She looked gorgeous in the Brion colors and he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d kept them on for him. He couldn't stop imagining her in that outfit all the time, walking the flagship Benevolent by his side, happy and carefree.
Though the image of her wearing nothing at all was even more inviting.
He had to admit that although the way she'd left things before hurt more deeply than any blade ever could, he couldn't help admiring her spirit. Just like he couldn't let go of his beliefs, she stood by hers. They were a match.
The fates knew what they were doing and as a true Brion, all Kerven had to do was suffer through the bad times, the hopeless moments, before hopefully reaching the prize at the end. Even his general had faced those. It was the way of the sacred bonds.
To have something so great, so pure, you had to fight for it.
"Paula," he asked before he'd even stepped out of the fighter. "Is something the matter? If that commander hurt you in any way, I will make a trophy out of his ugly head."
She couldn't fight down the smile that appeared on her face like dawn fast enough. Biting her lip, his gesha struggled not to give him the satisfaction of making her laugh. It would have been a brilliant gift for him, though it was ultimately denied to him.
In the meanwhile, he could enjoy how beautiful she looked. Her dark blonde hair, tied up in a practical ponytail, was flowing in the slight breeze that brought more dust their way.
The sun shining through the clouds gave it an ethereal look, casting Paula in its glow. He had to resist an urge to run over to her and pull her into his embrace where she belonged. It didn't serve him to piss her off again, not when she was giving him a sign that she wasn't done with him yet.
"Nah," Paula shrugged. "The major is a dick. He can't help it, though. I've seen many men like him. Military career does that to Terrans. I don't know why.
“Perhaps it's because he needs to be certain of himself, so after a time he thinks everything that comes into his head is gold. Let him be. He’s nothing I can't handle."
"He did tell you something, then?" Kerven asked with growing irritation.
Paula smirked, looking like she was remembering something.
"Of course. My new attire didn't go unnoticed. I'll get mocked for ages. It's not exactly inconspicuous, if you know what I mean."
Honestly, the thought hadn't occurred to Kerven before. Now that she mentioned it, he did notice how she stood out from the rest of the brown, grim bunch. He could hardly distinguish them from the muddy ground they stood and laid upon, according to their health, in the makeshift medical tent that they were conversing in.
In contrast, Paula shone like the sun that she was.
"If it's not to punish him, why did you call me here?" the captain asked, unable to keep the sliver of hope from his voice.
The smile on Paula's face was gone like light hiding behind clouds.
"Don't think I've forgotten your words," she said, several degrees icier than before. "I need you to tell me something. To promise me, in fact."