A sad smile appeared on Isolde’s lips. “Yes, the humans will be shocked. Not only because this has never happened before, but also… well. On Terra, the chances of a woman like me getting a man like you – I don’t know if the humans will believe you, honestly.”
A mad surge of protectiveness coursed through Diego’s veins. He barely noticed when he’d already crossed the floor to fold Isolde into his arms as he’d longed to do all day, every day since he’d met her. His voice dropped to a growl as he brushed his hand against her cheek. She didn’t struggle against his hold.
“I will make them believe,” he snarled. “You are safe with me, but I am still Diego Grothan. Any man or woman stupid enough to even hint that you’re not good enough for me will get to regret that in a very unpleasant way.”
Isolde’s eyes spoke volumes to him. Her desire for him, her own need – hot and desperate – and her longing, so clear from the way she pressed herself against him for, resting her head against his chest. Diego put his arms around her shoulders, breathing in the scent of her even if he knew he’d regret it later in his rooms, which had never felt empty before he realized they had always been waiting for Isolde to make them complete.
Her hands tightened reflexively around him, holding on to him with all the strength she had, unwilling to let go even if they both knew the moment had to end. Diego was surprised that it was him who broke their embrace. He simply couldn’t take it anymore. Being so close to her and knowing it was not to be felt like death had come to him already and he’d just refused to stop breathing.#p#分页标题#e#
Isolde’s eyes were brimming with tears. It was too much. He could handle his pain, but not hers. Diego left her alone, seeking some distraction to bring his mind peace again.
He paused for a moment behind Isolde’s door. Narath and Deliya still stood guard, dutiful as ever. His eyes wandered over Deliya’s body, but what used to excite him was now a mere fact instead of something alluring. She was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that, but that was it. For a man who had found his gesha, other women were dull and grey in comparison.
“If she needs you, be there,” he told the warrior woman instead, meaning both her guard duties and being Isolde’s friend.
Then he went to his only true friend.
---
Urenya was one of the few people who dared to fully speak her mind to him. Isolde should have done the same, but Diego didn’t want to think about that. He made his way to the medical bay, not even to seek any aid or council, but simply to clear his mind of the rush of emotions intent to drive him mad.
He wasn’t entirely sure if Urenya saw through the lie of their binding. As he entered, and the other healers bowed out of their way, leaving him alone with his friend, the look on her face told him everything.
“It is awfully nice of you,” the healer said, “to leave her be.”
“She needs time,” Diego huffed, wishing he could believe that.
“Yes,” Urenya agreed simply.
That was it? To be honest, Diego hadn’t thought she’d support that view, but she was a healer, which in Brion culture also meant being wise in spiritual matters, so she would know.
“You think she will see our way?” he asked in surprise.
“It is the truth, after all,” Urenya said, not even lifting her eyes to look up from her work with something bubbling Diego couldn’t name. The medical bay was more brightly lit than the rest of the ship, and being there always took a toll on his eyes. Urenya seemed used to it.
“She is human,” Diego said. “She has her own ways.”
“That she may,” Urenya replied, smiling, “but we know the truth. She is your gesha and that is it.”
Diego nodded. He’d known that, but it was still nice to hear it confirmed. He left it unsaid that he feared Isolde might simply ignore the pull of the eternal bind between them by strength of will. It wasn’t a Terran custom, far from it. A part of him understood, at least theoretically, that she had to keep to her own culture. He had, after all.
A question tugged at his mind. Urenya would know for sure.
“Has a gesha ever truly refused?” he asked. “Or a gerion refused to admit the bond?”
He couldn’t see a reason for it, now knowing firsthand the unbearable need to be close to Isolde. Her being Terran explained mostly everything about their situation, but with the precedent they were about to set – as much in secret as possible – he was actually interested whether it really would be the first.
“Rarely,” Urenya said simply.
If Diego hadn’t been completely in control of the image he portrayed to others, as befitting a Brion general, his mouth would have dropped open. He searched for words to properly express his disbelief, but Urenya shot him a single look and continued.
“We are all surprised as well when the healer Elders tell us this,” she said. “The reasons are what you would expect – sometimes the gesha and the gerion are so repulsive to each other they simply override their instincts with pure refusal to give in, as is natural.
In the sadder cases – much more common, although altogether they both count for a marginal part of a single percent – only one of them refuses the binding. It is pretty hard to ascertain the cases where the gerion never even tells the gesha who they are, but later in their life, when they join the Elders or when the mate is dead, things like this tend to turn up.”
Diego tried to fit that information into his view of the world, but it felt like a piece of a puzzle mixed into the wrong pile. For a moment, he felt true sympathy for Isolde, for whom this whole ordeal had to feel like that.
“You mean like broken geshas?” he asked, intrigued. “A false binding?”
“No,” Urenya said patiently. “Broken geshas are a delusion of a binding, a sad case of someone thinking the binding is real when it never was. It’s a disease, plaguing those who can’t control their minds. Refusal concerns a real binding.”
“Why don’t we hear more of things like this?” Diego demanded. “And why are you telling me this, now of all times?”#p#分页标题#e#
“Firstly,” Urenya said seriously, setting aside her bubbly experiment and moving on to another console, where a body lay under a dark grey cloth, and beginning an autopsy. “It is an extremely private matter. I am very happy with Narath, as I should be. I cannot imagine thinking him so utterly abhorrent to me that I would have to fight my very being, or worse, him thinking that of me.
It is understandable why no one wishes to discuss this. So the Elders respect their silence. As for why you and why now…” she went on, hands deep in the dead warrior’s chest cavity, looking Diego straight in the eye. His childhood friend, who knew him better than all the others.
“You need to hear this right now. You are on the verge of being refused. I’m telling you two things. One – she is, indeed, human and clearly disapproving of all this. It would not be surprising to anyone if she became a part of the miraculously small group that never binds to her mate. Before you glare at me, Commander… two – I do not believe that.”
Diego left the med bay more shaken than he’d ever been. Urenya’s words had struck several cords that kept ringing in his mind. He trusted Urenya. A gerion could read his mate better than anyone, but he could not easily discard the healer’s opinion. She was a woman, and a wise woman at that. If the meeting had given her any sign of Isolde’s true feelings, he would take her word for it.
He also felt like he’d been blasted off his feet. So far, he’d lived with the certainty that fated mates always found each other in the end. He’d prepared for hardship, for Isolde’s stubbornness, for a long future full of suffering before Isolde relented and gave in to the binding.
That certainty taken from him – if Brions could rebel against the bond, why not a human who had so much more reason – Diego Grothan was left in the hands of hope alone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Diego
The next time Isolde saw her general, the change was obvious, even if she couldn’t put her finger on what exactly gave him away. Something was different; she only wished she knew what. His eyes when he looked at her were somehow more intense than ever before. Isolde found herself unable to break his gaze.
“The time has come,” Diego said. “Things have taken an ugly turn. We can no longer delay our journey to Briolina, but it is clear that the Elders will not emerge in time to put this all to order. Questions have been raised and we have to be there to answer them in person. If we arrive too late and Senator Eren has had time to secure his base, we will not get to speak a word before being shot to pieces by the orbital defense systems.”
“I thought the Brions didn’t favor long-range weaponry,” Isolde murmured.
Diego looked like someone introducing her to a really unpleasant relative. “The senators installed it,” he managed to say. “I can see… its uses. I would not have thought they would use it against their own people, but I no longer doubt they would. Eleya is buying us time, but we must make haste now.”