Alien General's Baby (Brion Brides 7)(29)

"Very well," Braen said from somewhere behind her. "Just know that you don't need to cover from me, little one. Every inch of you is perfect to me."

Naima's mind readily began to protest. A nagging doubt stopped it short. After everything she'd experienced, the talks she'd had with Braen and Kerven, Naima had come to believe he was for real. As absurd and over-the-top as it sounded, Braen truly meant what he said.

"Exactly why," she said. "The issue here isn't that I don't believe you. I have for a while. I can't give you what you want and I don't want to lead you on. This can't happen again."

As she was speaking, two things became very clear to Naima.

A gorgeous warlord offering his hand and heart to her wasn't the problem – how could it be? Naima knew Brions didn't lie and the whole galaxy believed in their magical, amazing fated bonds.

The second truth was as crystal clear to her as Braen's deep blue eyes – she had already fucked up by being too weak.

The general was regarding her seriously. Naima didn't think he was fully in control of himself in that moment. Ever since they'd met, the general's ability to read her had concerned Naima, but now she finally felt what he did with full force.

There was such monumental emotion in Braen's eyes that everything in Naima screamed to take her words back, but she silenced her inner voice.#p#分页标题#e#

I've done enough damage today.

"These are new times," Naima said, forcing determination into her voice. "I read up a little and I know that not all the fated end up together. I believe that the bond exists, I really do, but it's not enough for me, and it is not fair on you. I will help you find the Fearless, help in any way that I can. Then I will go home."

"Your home is with me," Braen said, his usually deep and velvety voice suddenly pure ice.

When Naima met the general's eyes, the look in them froze the blood in her veins and the words chilled her to the bone. All arguments got stuck in her throat as she saw what Braen truly was.

So far, she hadn't realized how dangerous the man in front of her was, as hard as that was to believe.

Yet finally Naima saw eye to eye with one of the legendary warlords who held the galaxy at their mercy. No matter how tamed they appeared or claimed to be, the danger about them was as undeniable as the death they were capable of bringing. So far, Naima had been spared of that, allowed only glimpses of what he could be, but she now knew she'd only seen a part of Braen.

The other, darker side was not as gone as she – and the rest of the Galactic union   – would have liked to think.

She stood her ground. With sheer stubbornness as her only weapon, Naima repeated like a mantra in her head:

This is best for him. For the both of us. He can’t see it, but I can.

But like a drop of tar in a honey pot, there were other words in Naima's mind too, unbidden and unwelcome. Braen's voice rang out, easily drowning hers.

"Your home is with me." I really want to believe that was an argument, not a threat.

Naima couldn't. Not with the way Braen was looking at her. It was amazing, really, how completely different possessiveness looked depending on the situation. When they'd kissed, Naima had loved Braen's passion, the way he seemed to want her and only her. Now, it made her think the general really was never going to let her go.

"What happened to my choice?" she asked, cold as ice.

It killed her to put that kind of venom in her tone, but she needed to get through to him. Before he’d get hurt and in turn, hurt the whole damn universe with him.

"I am not as ignorant as you think I am or want to believe. Your bonds only go both ways. It isn't enough that you want me. I have to want you in return. Just as badly."

"You do."

The arrogance of that rendered Naima speechless for a moment. Gritting her teeth she took a step closer, the first she'd taken in the company of the feared general. Like a dark shadow, the remains of the pleasure still beating in her veins suddenly made Naima shiver in fury.

"That is not the point," she shot back, louder than she'd intended, but against such brutal logic, the truth was her only weapon. "I told you once, then again and again. Lust is not love and no magical bond is going make me love someone! It’s not going to make me be selfless and give as much as I get. It just fucking won’t. I can’t do it."

The rage in her voice seemed to die with every syllable she spoke and by the end of it, her words sounded… broken, to her. Like just by speaking her reasons, she was making them less believable.

"You didn't say no," Braen said, the malice in his voice the first she'd ever heard from him.

Naima glared, her hands curling into fists as she shuddered from head to toe in anger that bloomed in the place of that hollowness she’d felt a moment before.

"I did not," she said, almost laughing. "I admit it. That part of the fault is mine. Let me make up for it now. I say NO. To all of this, to any version of us you can come up with."

Hearing that, the general straightened himself and came at her so quickly Naima's heart jumped right into her throat.

"Don't you dare touch me," she snarled, backing away.

Braen stopped. The look in his eyes was a passion of all the wrong kinds. The room was cast in terrible shadows as the general didn't even bother to hide his true emotions. Naima had seen him mad before. The valor squares pulsed red when Brions were in their battle mode or irritated. The black shadows dancing on the walls of her rooms... they were horrifying.

Her eyes were fixed on him, judging the distance between them. Naima's heartbeat was so fast and loud she could hear it rushing in her ears. In that moment, breaking the heart of one of the most dangerous men alive, she was very sharply aware of the irony.

The only thing standing between them, the only defense she had, was the bond she was in the middle of denying. And in the process of saying no to him, she was doing exactly what she sought not to do. To break a part of him in a way that perhaps could never be mended.#p#分页标题#e#

If it’s not now, it will happen later. And the later it does happen the worse it would be. I have to be strong.

"You are right," Braen said then and for a second there, Naima dared to hope. "I admit your sources are correct. Some bonds have not worked out. They are a rarity, but they exist. That is fine. We are not one of those couples."

"You can't decide that on your own," Naima said quietly, but she knew it was no use.

"I will leave you alone," Braen said, walking past Naima and retrieving his spear. "We still have a long journey ahead. You and I belong together, you'll see."

With that ominous promise, the general was gone, leaving Naima shaken. Her mind was in complete disarray. A part of her wanted to trust Braen. A part of her wanted to trust herself, that she could be better than she thought she was. That she would never do the same to Braen as her father had done to her mother.

But she couldn’t trust herself to be that person. Not with everything she knew about herself and the universe she lived in.





17





Naima





Like a prophecy coming true, disaster struck that night.

Audrey had warned Naima that being stressed out weakened her to the Fearless' grip, who was always searching for them both. She had also suggested, not too subtly, that Braen's closeness helped like her own Palian mate shielded Audrey from the monster.

So far, that had worked. Naima had been flattered and cheerfully ready to accept anything Braen offered to her, but now it was over and there was an emptiness in her she couldn't fully grasp.

The fight between her and the general had left her deeply disturbed. Even so she didn't think that was all there was to it. She was reminded of the iceberg figure – like nine-tenths of their issues were unseen and unspoken. The unknown bothered her.

It's getting worse, Naima thought that night, taking a shower before going to bed.

The scorching hot water turned to steam the second it touched Naima's skin. When she pressed her hand against the shower wall, ice flowers spread from her fingers. It was a gorgeous picture, but a wholly disconcerting one.

I can't believe I joked about becoming an ice queen. That's what I get for having such a romantic mind. A pragmatic would have considered the obvious first. I'm not turning into an ice queen, I'm just turning into ice.

Naima wondered what kind of a statue she'd be before she melted and that whimsical fancy at least made her laugh a little.

She hadn't heard anything from Braen after the general had left. Naima was thankful that it wasn't yet the time to adjust their course, and that she had plenty of long days to befriend the android. For one night, she was free of the whole mess.

Even if she felt worse tonight than she had on any previous evening.

The bubble of false security she had been living in had never occurred to Naima before the Palian bracelet slipped off her wet, soapy hand and clattered to the floor.

The Fearless was there in less than a heartbeat.

Naima wanted to scream, but the monster robbed the sounds from her throat and took every bit of strength from her. She collapsed to the shower floor, feeling hot water pour down on her.

It was so much worse than Naima had thought and everything Audrey had warned her about.

The Fearless was still shapeless, but stronger and more powerful now than ever before. It was no longer the young creature Naima had seen in her mind's eye, but an entity as old as the galaxy itself. The formlessness it had been forced to adapt for a while was gone. Somewhere out there, the Fearless was gathering its strength, managing to hide itself from Naima and Audrey.